SINCERA

A Journey: Not so Ordinary

2011-12-11T03:18:00.001+05:30

Jhumlawang: My village,my destination ^^

Chennai: Two days ofcontinuous walk from headquarter, Musikot, had taken a toll. I was flushed and mybreath was ragged. I could feel my heartbeat hammering against my rib. Both mylegs were wobbling like rubber and I was drenched in cold sweat.

The steep up-hill climblooked formidable. I gulped and with all my mighty power took another step. Myheart pounded, vision blurred and mouth got drier. I challenged myself to take10 more paces. I failed; I collapsed before I made up to five.

My father who wasfew more minutes ahead noticed the laborious struggle. Like superman, withinseconds he was by my side. At 60, he picked me up like I was made of featherand ran in the opposite direction like crazy.

In my misery, Ihad failed to notice the herd of cattle running downhill, towards us!Only after eachcow had passed and he had saved me from being possible victim of a stampede didmy father put me down on the ground. He looked in my eyes, smiled and said,"A decade in Kathmandu has made my baby 'a city girl'." I could saynothing; my desire to reach home faster was not shared by my body. I was stillstruggling to stand on my feet. Looking at my pathetic condition, my fatherknew I’ll never be able to walk home on my own. So, he hired a man to carry me.

I never felt moreembarrassed in my whole life. But the trouble with my swollen legs ended and itpassed to the man who was carrying me. At seventeen, weighting 50 kg I wasquite 'healthy'. So, when asked I replied with my most sincere voice -- 'just47 kg'.

The man was allbones, sun-tanned and in his 30s. I sat on the newly made bamboo basket that hecarried. He had some trouble keeping his balance and with long sigh said,"Must be at least 50 kg." I pretended not to hear. I was trying tofocus on keeping myself sane. "What if he trips?" the question keptrepeating in my head. But, after some time, I loved the way the snake liketrail looked, the sound of birds chirping and the smell of moist-grassy junglefrom the basket. I could feel and understand the rhythm of his walk. His pacediffered from deep wooded forest to the sheep pastures and the mustard fields.He seemed at ease while walking through some scattered thatched roof villageson the way.

For me it was a nightmare,of course. When villagers saw the 'healthy' looking girl being carried in thebasket, elders looked with concern, youths observed with curiosity and childrenpointed out and asked questions. It was too embarrassing to meet their eyes andhear my father explain. So, I slept in the basket like I used to do when I wasa toddler.

After beingcarried in the basket for 5 hours we were about to reach home. I didn't wantothers to know about my embarrassing moments so before my village Jhumlawangwas in sight, I started walking. After 15 minutes of walking, I was in mymother's arms. As we had reached the gate she had ran to me, eyes filled withtears. She had caught me in her tight bear hug. I felt her shoulder shake timeand again.

"Don't cry,mom. I am home," I said.

Her shouldersstarted shaking more violently and all of a sudden she burst out in a fit oflaughter. I guess, my hope of keeping this a secret was already burst. The newsof me being carried in a basket had already spread like wild fire.

But, as MayaAngelou says "The ache for home lives in all of us, thesafe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned," I pine for myhome. No matter, how many times people ask if I will need any 'assistance orbasket' before I plan my trip home, the ache for visiting home remainsunabated.

[Note: when my professor asked me to write about important event in my life, i thought of this and laughed at myself. but, this is one of the most important memories i have with my dad...^^]

Diwali at Home: Memories!

2011-12-08T23:11:00.001+05:30


Offerings for my brothers in Chennai hostel!

Chennai:

The smell ofburning deeyo, houses colorfully lit, the sound of madal, youthssinging bhaileri, firecrackerslighting the sky and sight of my brother's forehead covered in tika withmarigold garlands hanging on his neck: these are the precious moments I will missmost this Tihar (Diwali).

The festivalof lights – Dipawali, Tihar or Panchak Yama -- is celebrated for five days athome in Nepal. It is considered the second most important festival in theformer Hindu kingdom. A festival when the crow, dog, cow and ox are worshippedon each day and in that order, making it an occasion to celebrate the animal. Thefestival concludes with sisters worshipping their brothers on the fifth day.


Tika ^^

This year, thefestival starts on Sunday when everyone will offer delicacies to the crow, the 'messenger'. On this day we offer it selroti, meethaiand rice on a leaf-plate. Unlike the crows here in Chennai, the ones back home arescared of human beings. So, we keep the plates on the terraces, the food oftenbeing eaten away by pigeons if the crows show up late.

Preparations and offerings: though i ended up
eating all of them myself..:D

The secondday is dedicated to man's best friend: dog. Even street dogs, usually kickedand swore upon, are worshipped. Wehave a pet dog, Thople, and I never had to go looking for one in the streets. Iwill miss putting the red tika and garland on my rather reluctant Thople. Thoughhe doesn't have a problem with the tika, he particularly seems to hate the garland.

The thirdday is all about the cow, called gaai tihar.

By noon on this day, every cow roamingthe the streets of Kathmandu will be coveredin different colours and garlands. The day is usually hectic for women. Theyhave to clean the house and decorate it with flowers. The women make candlesand deeyas ready while cooking delicacies for bhaileries and deuseries(group of people who go from home to home dancing and singing). Bhaileriesand deuseries get food with money and gifts in return from families.

Yellow colorful caterpillars???
Nope.
They are tika offered to my brothers. ^^

Why all the trouble on this day? Well, you see money mattersand this particular evening is believed to be the night when the goddess of wealth,Laxmi, enters the house. The evening starts with singing and dancing, lighting offirecrackers and burning candles.

From this day, bhaileries and deuseries neverknow if it's two in the morning or five in the evening; they are always thereentertaining the families and neighborhood while drinking and feasting on offereddelicacies. And, before leaving, they get their 'dakshina' from the family.

For an agrarian country, ox is important to a Nepali'slivelihood. In the villages, if you do not own an ox, you are considered poor -which could be the reason why each of us tries to have at least one ox in the house!So, on the fourth day we worship the ox by painting their horns and body withdifferent natural colours and offer them food. This day in fact goes fast. Deuseriesand bhaileries are always on the door and family celebrations see no end.

The fifthday is special when we offer worship to our brothers for their long life,success and happiness. It is believed that sisters are able to prolong theirbrother's life from the god of death, Yama Raja, if they worship them on thisday with tika and garlands. Brothers in turn give sisters gifts of presents andmoney.

This time,however, I won't be able to worship my brothers. The first time when there willbe no one to eat my home-made delicacies (gravy chicken, aaloo ko achar, salad,selroti, chilleroti, mixed curries) with curd and sweets. I guess I won't bemaking any either.

*********************************

[Note: I wrote this article for college paper---to share how differently we celebrate Tihar in Nepal than in Chennai, India.

It was very difficult to even think of celebrating cherished festival while being far away from my brothers.
A very lonely experience, indeed. I missed my brothers the most on bhaitika unlike any other years.
But, it was one of a kind experience.
Specially, trying to find the ingredients to perform bhaitika in their name. The funniest was to look for walnuts all around the city for hours without success. Then, as an represent, just got some another nuts...:D, there was no way of getting makhmali phul nor sayapatri so just bought with some yellow flower I found in flower market..:P
then, got all the fruits and sweets I like as at the end I was the one to eat anyway...hihi..]

Ooty On my Mind!

2011-12-04T15:39:00.001+05:30

Chennai, Dec 2011

Bollywoodmovies and television serials have made Ooty a familiar hillock for Nepalese aswell. So, when opportunity came to visit this 'virtually' familiar place Ijumped to the idea.

But, lesssaid the better about my night bus ride from Chennai to Ooty. Twelve hours of motionsickness that started as soon as I got on bus left me totally drained of energy.So, when I got off the bus at Ooty station I was literally swaying and had tohold my friend Bincy to steady myself. However, after a minute or two, the chillin the air did its magic. Few more deep breaths and I immediately felt alive,comfortable, and almost at home.

Continuousrain for a week, which had stopped the previous day, had left Ooty pictureperfect for us. The weather was partly cloudy, through which sun rays weretrying to escape and kiss the foggy forests. Morning dew drops were fragilely balancedon shrubs, flowers and a variety of vegetables in the fields. Hills surroundingOoty market looked like some fairy castles in the clouds as they were protrudingout of thick misty layers formed round them. With the muddy, murky and cool air,Ooty had a winterish monsoon feel in November. Something I could relate toNepal during the months of July and August.

We just had aday to explore Ooty, so we didn't spare a moment. As soon as we left ourluggage in the guesthouse Tamijhagam, Udhagamandalam, we headed for Pykara Lake.Our guide/driver Ishwor, who has been in this profession for more than adecade, gave us Ooty's historical background on our way. Driving down a longwinding road through eucalyptus and pine forests gave us a sense of romance and made me thinkof Bollywood movies like Kayamat Se Kayamat Tak, Dil, Akele Hum Akele Tum and Raja Hindustani, whosesongs were shot in here. However, the feelings faltered as Ishwor said thoseplants were planted by colonists uprooting the local vegetation. "Itchanged the whole forest ecology, with many adverse effects in nature," headded.

It could be because ofthe “too perfect and monotonous” look of the pine forest I saw when I took awalk; I didn't feel a sense of awe, mystery or wilderness which I usually got inforests back home. The forest started looking tame with some unwantedartificial touch. Yet, I must say, local women returning home carrying baskets filledwith eucalyptus leaves, birds chirping and playful monkeys enjoying theirerrands made it lively and enjoyable.

Any complains I hadearlier vanished when we entered the Pykara Lake forest area. Protected by the ForestDepartment, the area is calm, at the same time giving a sense of wildness.Different varieties of trees and vegetations left unmanicured gave a fresh,damp and green-grassy smell to forest. It was all natural, even themachine-boats on the lake felt like they belonged there.

Situated about 21 km from Ooty on the Ooty-Mysore Road, Pykara Lakewas calm, clean and beautiful. It was crowded with mostly domestic tourists whowere busy boating, taking pictures and enjoying local food items in the restaurants.But the pristine beauty of the lake overshadowed the crowd, their chattering,even warning signs that said ”beware of monkeys". I felt at peace.

Pykara Lake made me think of the Fewa Lakeat Pokhara. Though it's smaller than Fewa and doesn't have a reflection of themountains, it gave an aura similar to mystifying greatnesses and beauty. It wasreflecting the different shapes and forms of clouds in sky; it looked flawless.I gave up on the idea of boating.

With newfoundcalmness and happiness, we headed for Pykara falls next. By the road side,there were tea vendors which also sold steamed corns. The milky, young corn'ssweetness spiced with red chili and salt was simply mouthwatering. The tastelingered on my tongue all the way to Pykara fall, which was not what I had imaginedit would be. When I think of a waterfall, I am thinking of huge masses of whitewater falling from a hilltop, which usually has me pulling my head back andwidening my eyes to look up at its origin. Instead, when I saw a rivulet I was alittle disappointed. Don't get me wrong, it is a very beautiful place. Cleanwater flows through small rock cliffs and the sound of running water issoothing. There was a picturesque view that will stick will remain with you forever:small pasture hillocks with some pine forests at the top, old English-styled cottages,vegetable fields and a tea plantation surrounding the settlement, and a pondjust below it. This view brought back memories of Dhorpatan,Nepal, through which I had trekkedfor three days on my way home from Kathmandu.

Ooty's hills,pasture lands, grassy meadows, pineand eucalyptus forests,vast agricultural fields, small colourful houses and its misty weather remindedme of home. Yet, there was some sense of detachment as well. Different vegetation,protein-producing factories and modern sheep rearing practices were new to me. Goingfrom one shop to another, buying homemade chocolates, made me feel like atourist. It also felt abnormal when I went to a hillock and there were no snow-cappedmountains in sight.

Then, seeingthe sun set behind the hills was something special. Ever since I returned toChennai, I have been seeing a sun meld into the horizon, a setting that left mefeeling like an alien. A sunset in Ooty, on the other hand, made me feel closerto home. So, the Ooty visit, in the end, was like visiting a maternal uncle'shome: not exactly at home but near it.

Good morning Kathmandu! ^_^

2011-04-12T20:16:00.003+05:30

Something happened!

I woke up and decided to go for jugging.

Now, this might seem a very normal ‘thing to do’ for many. But, it was a shocking news for some who know me better. Of course, I am including myself in that group.

I tell you why? Since my school days I have always ‘planned’ (I quote ‘planned’ again because it was never executed) to go on fitness walk. First the idea struck when I was putting on flab after flab and my big brother and sister in law noticed it. When they saw the health disaster I could have, brother wanted me to go for run. But, sister in law pointed out his own body enjoying some ‘one pack abs’. So, the hunt for good judging clothes started. Within few weeks we got everything prepared: from perfect shoes to matching jugging dress, caps and water bottles. The problem was we just forgot to wake up in the morning and the idea just hung there like an old clothe in my hanger.

The perfect running clothes never saw the morning glory.

Then came my college days! After continues demands from my middle elder brother studying abroad that I sent my recently clicked pictures. I did not get chance to even think that he might have gotten my email, I got the reply. There was one quote I had found in dictionary nicely tugged by one of my brothers, once. It said, ‘If you can not do dieting, at least don’t die eating!’ The emails’ meaning was more or less similar. Of course I didn’t mind, I laughed instead as remembered once before leaving for studies he had asked, “Do you live to eat or eat to live?”

Of course, he had said jokingly!

But my brother’s email made me think about taking care of my body, seriously! So, after my college I went for some jugging clothes. I bought the cheapest one I could find. That night I did not sleep. It was not due to the excitement! I was just worried I will not wake up. So, when the morning crow started making noise outside my window I left home for my real jugging.

It was not easy one, I tell you.

I ran from here to there for 2 minutes and then stopped for 4 minutes...and the laborious procedure continued. I came back home in Lalitpur Yatayat bus. Whole day I was hungry and sleepy. That night I could not stay awake and next morning I could not wake up. I couldn’t continue my plan next morning. However, the whole weeks muscle aches did remind me of my painful plan.

Next trial on this thing called jugging happened when didi Jen was in Nepal. Her beautifully maintained body made me notice my shabby one. So, I asked her to take me along on her morning walk. She was more than happy until she saw me struggle to breath within 5 minutes of walking. Though I didn’t use Lalitpur Yatayat this time, I did have whole weeks of muscle ache and the idea of having well toned body remained distant dream.

Let’s not talk about my university life and work in detail. But still, after starting my journalism practice, I took pride in sleeping late and waking up late. When I reached home from work at midnight my neighbours would be in deep sleep. When I woke up in mid day they would have already left for work. This routine made my neighbours believe I no more lived in my apartment so much that when our path had crossed once, one of the neighbours asked, “It’s been so long...where are you living now? Or, were you out of town?”

I am telling you, I have had enough of this all. I felt unhealthy and non social. The unhealthy thing did make me lose some pounds but losing the weight by being ill has its disadvantages. There is no glow in your body, it looks sick!

So, in the name of health, on 19^th March, I went for jugging. It was totally unprepared and sudden decision so in old quarter pant jeans, I stepped out of house.

In my fifteen years of staying here, I regretted not coming out to see how the Kathmandu looks in the morning for the first time.

At 5 in the morning, the capital city is fresh! Where’s the pollution, the crowd, the annoying numbers of vehicles and hustle-bustle of city-life that engulfs it during daytime? Makes me wonder every morning!

It’s so peaceful and beautiful. The daily life is just about to start. The small food vendors making sweets, soups and breads, road-sweepers collecting trash, paper boys on bicycle distributing newspapers, small van dropping off packets of milks to the sellers, some juggers just like me on the road. Birds chirping, fresh air blowing, the sun rising! No matter where you look at it from, the sunrise holds the charm that is far gone during day time. When it’s about to rise its pink, then gets orange and then yellow, its breath-taking!

When I reach the park, it’s interesting to see every type of people at one place. They are of every age group and every walk of life. Everyone is busy sweating. It could be just walk, run or jug...yoga, karate, b-boying or boxing...everyone is exercising.

And for me, its still walk more than jug but, it’s going to be one month soon and I am enjoying the beauty Kathmandu and Kathmanduties hold in the morning. It’s healthy and relaxing! I am breaking my own records in the history of jugging, I am surprising myself! Let’s see for how long...but I would love to make it a habit!

CRAZY!!!

2011-01-03T14:58:00.004+05:30

Part – 3

Don't be so cruel!

Have some mercy and just leave. Let me lick my wounds and heal it myself.

Leave!

Go as far as you can. Be healthy, be happy. Live a long and meaningful life. Let me think you are living happily somewhere; wherever you are.

Let me be!

Don't ever come back. Even when I am crumpled on the ground, don't you be there to offer the hand. Even when I am wailing like a crazy person, don't try to wipe my tears. Don't hold me, when I am falling.

Don't you cry for me.

Don't you give me hopes. Because, these hopes you give make me bleed. Each time, as I bleed for you, the wounds get bigger and deeper.

Just leave!

I want to heal. I want to see the colours again. This time, my own colours!

So, don't you show yourself again. If you do, I will lose my sanity. I will come running to you like before. I don't want that. I don't want to plead. I don't want to be so weak, so vulnerable and so pathetic!

Therefore, don't apologize. Just leave!

Let me have the dignity that is left in me. If you leave now, there won't be any reasons for me to wait for you. There won't be any reasons for me to hope for your return.

Don't be sorry! Just leave!

I want to heal. I just want to start healing before I collapse again!!!

CRAZY!!

2011-01-03T14:04:00.004+05:30

Part – 2

You apologized!

I didn't understand. "Why?" I asked. You just kept apologizing, 'for everything.'

Confused, I added some more sugar in my coffee. Stirred for a while and took a sip. Tasteless!

I raised my head, looked at you sitting uneasily opposite the table. I gave you a confused smile. You looked away. I sighed, clueless!

But, deep down, somewhere, something felt empty. I was sad, very sad. All of a sudden, I felt lonely.

I wrecked my head, searched into the memories. Yet, I could find nothing. Nothing for you to be sorry for, nothing for me to be sad and lonely for.

I got more confused. The question kept repeating on my head, "Why sorry?" "Why?"…

I looked at you again. Without meeting my gaze you gave a shaky smile. Then you lowered your head, again. You closed your eyes and I heard another softly spoken, "Forgive me!"

You looked so sad and so sorry! It almost felt like you were hurting as much as I was.

That hit me!

A short gasp escaped from my mouth. You looked more apologetic. I was too naïve, too ignorant.

I realized.

I heard my heart break. The sound was piercing, cold and painful. I couldn't breath!

Crazy!!!

2010-12-22T20:46:00.002+05:30

Part - One

When you called for me, I wanted to hold myself back. Walk very slowly towards you.

Let you wait and wait!

Then reach to 'our park' after you had alredy left!

As the cold shoulder you gave still hunts me!!

But I forget! And I find myself running to you. In that cold, chilly morning, I ran to you like I was saving myself from breaking apart.

I ran and ran!

You were there. Standing by the pole. You saw me running to you : Confused and out of breath!

You smile at my eagerness. You smile at my undying connection to you. You smile at me!

I stop. I stare at you! I wish to resist the pull. I want to run away as far as possible. As fast as I can.

Save myself from the guilt. Save myself from the hurt. Save myself from hurting others. But, I find myself running to you again. Smiling! Laughing! and Screaming as if my heart is about to explode with happiness.

Tears start rolling!

You open your arms to me.

I find myself in your arms again. After all these years, I am Sharing your warmth and Sharing your breath, again!

==================== ============= =================

When I see you, I lose my way. I question my morality.

You make me forget things I shouldn't, ever!

Yet, I forget and run to you. Like you are the thread of my life and I am hanging on it, always!

I must be crazy!

If not, then I must really be going crazy!!!

Fragments!

2010-07-06T03:08:00.002+05:30

"One"

Closer the van got, heavier the raindrops splattered on the windshields. Like every night the Van carrying me passed by her house. But, unlike other nights the feeling was empty. I knew, even if I knocked on the door, she won't be there.

She had said her goodbyes.

The realization hit me hard. It knocked me out of my breath. Tears wailed up. I couldn’t see properly. I wanted the driver to stop driving and let me out of it. I wanted rain to totally drench me.

I wanted to let my tears fall as free as they were trying to be...

That day, still shaken from the news, I was trying to come to terms with her decision. Shutting my eyes I tried remembering our days, those smiles, comfortable vibes and short sweet talks. But those memories were not clear.

They were just fragments!

Then, I had the usual reaction. Hair on my neck gave me the signal. I felt her presence. She sat right next to me on the cold slate.

"Of all people, it has to be you."

She said with her usual trademark teasing tone. It was not difficult for me to recognize that slight-husky voice of hers.

That tone, that voice was what had made me turn my head. It was our first day at college and that voice had instinctively made me look at her direction. Fair looking, with cool and playful attitude, from first glance I had liked her.

But, now things had changed to the level that it would never be the same. I got angry at her nearness; her casualness.

"Yeah, you took exact words out of my mind." I replied. I could feel the bitterness on my own tone. Not to my surprise, she gave hers' that famous loud laugh again.

"Why?" I asked. "The 'You' I knew was not like that!"

"But, you were not that much surprised!" she declared and turned the table, "Why is it? I wonder, is it because we share the similar secret? "

I knew what she was talking about. And I also knew that she was deliberately trying to change the subject. But, by now, I mean after spending more than 5 years in same classroom, she knows how stubborn I am. So, before I asked again, she shifted her weight and spoke.

"It was a moment's decision."

I said nothing.

I couldn't say anything, anyway.

My mind was blank.

She spoke again. This time, louder, "I have nothing more to say! Don't ask me anything, anymore about it."

I understood.

If I wouldn't, who else could?

My anger vanished in thin air. Just like that. I didn't know what to say. For the first time, she had made me loss at words. But, I had to speak something. I didn't know how much time we had. So, I just blurted out what came first in my mind.

"Did you know, I always found you cool and really loved seeing you? You used to make my day!"

'Oh, I didn't say that! So embarrassing!' my head talked back. But, surprisingly my heart felt some relief.

"Yeah, from the time we spent talking in bus. I remember," She said, "I think we understood each other since then."

She was silent, for sometime.

Then, there was a slight chuckle. After sometime, she took a deep breath and said, "Those were good days, good memories."

"Though subjects were usually stupid and scattered, talking with you was like therapy. That is why it was such a pleasant surprise when we ended up in same college again,' Shed added.

"But, I was not there when you actually needed me," I felt the stabbing pain in my chest, "Sorry!" I said.

"Not your fault."

"I am worried about you." I blurted again.

"Are you scared?" she asked

"Are you?" I barely managed to ask her back.

To which she replied, "A lil bit!"

Her voice didn't quiver like mine.

"I can't remember your face. Its all blur," I choked. Tears started falling freely.

"…I didn’t know you were such a cry-baby!" Then she was silent again. I bet if I could see her I would have seen tears falling from her eyes as well. In her every breath, I could hear her silent cry.

We stayed like that for how long, I have no idea. But, after my eyes were swollen and tears stopped she broke the silence.

"You know, we are somehow same," with composed and thoughtful voice she said, "It was fate! We were to meet, have this discussion."

"What you mean?" I didn't understand her.

"You know, it's like two-way therapy," she said with light tone.

"You are just a hallucination!" I declared.

"Yeah, you wish!" she laughed.

She was still laughing loud when all of a sudden, I heard her say, "My time is up!"

I could not feel her by my side.

With passing nanoseconds she was going further and further away from me. Her voice got more and more difficult to hear.

"Don't call me anymore, not that strongly," she was shouting now, "It will attract you too. With more force than you had experienced and ever imagined."

I didn't have time to reply nor think. I just started running towards her voice. My hands stretched.

"For me, some memories are too painful, I don't want to ever go through them again. So, don't call me or think of me so much that will drag me here again," by then, her voice was just a whisper.

"Goodbye!" her lingering voice had left me cold in there, staring at the sky with empty stretched hands.

Before I could answer her, she was already gone.

Her presence, I couldn’t feel it anymore…

Though I couldn't feel her presence, how could I not think about her? Every moment, my heart misses her and my mind starts searching for her.

Her decision has left the never-healing scar and has opened those old wounds. Those wounds mixed with her memories hunt me. And with that my nightmares come closer.

It's hard to escape; the urge is too strong for me to handle again.

The warning was too late!

रामदेव माथि, राष्ट्रपति तल

2010-03-31T21:21:00.005+05:30

देवेन्द्र भट्टराई

यतिखेर सिंगो काठमाडौं सहर 'रामदेवमय' बनेको छ । नेता, राजनेता र उपनेताहरू रामदेवका आसनमा शरणागत छन् । कमरेड झलनाथदेखि कमरेड प्रचण्डसम्म र उपेन्द्र महतोदेखि रामचन्द्र पौडेलसम्म खुलामञ्चमा भेटिन थालेका छन् । अघिल्लो दिन राष्ट्रपति रामवरण यादव र भोलिपल्ट उपराष्ट्रपति परमानन्द झा 'शरणागत' बनेका देखिन्छन् । योग विज्ञानदेखि मनोविज्ञानसम्मका मन्त्रणाहरू लिनेको संख्या हजारौंबाट लाखौं पुगिसकेको छ । देशभित्र मात्रै होइन, अन्तर्राष्ट्रिय जगतमा फैलिएर बसेका २० लाखभन्दा बढी नेपालीका संरक्षक उपेन्द्र महतो पनि अहिले रामदेवका आसन अभ्यासमा मग्न छन् ।

रामदेवसँग जोडिएका यी दृश्यका माझ केही प्रत्यक्ष र केही परोक्ष सन्दर्भहरू भने निकै 'मन बिझाउने' रहे । अहिलेको राज्य संयन्त्रमा सर्वोपरि स्थानमा रहेका हाम्रा राष्ट्रपति रामवरण यादवले योगगुरु रामदेवलाई मञ्चको तलबाट विनित हुँदै अभिवादन गरेको दृश्य 'डिप्लोम्याटिक डिलिङ्ज'का अर्थमा निकै अनर्थकारी देखिन्थ्यो । पूर्वप्रधानमन्त्री एवं माओवादी अध्यक्ष प्रचण्डले खुलामञ्च पुगेर 'जनयुद्ध र रामदेव योग'माथि फ्युजन प्रवचन दिएको सन्दर्भ पनि अलौकिक सुनिन्थ्यो । रामदेवका सहयात्रु आचार्य बालकृष्णले 'विश्वमा पाइनेमध्ये ६७ प्रतिशत जडिबुटी नेपालमा छ, यसको उपयोग विश्वले गर्न सक्छ' भनिरहँदा ताली बजाउने नेपाली उद्यमी-व्यवसायीहरूको भीड पनि आफैंमा रमाइलो थियो । हाम्रो औषधीमूलो लगेर विश्वले त उपचार पाउला । तर नेपाल र नेपालीले के पाउँछन् ? यो जिज्ञासा राखिदिने कसले ?

फेरि अर्को दिन खबर आयो- धुलिखेलको ९० रोपनी जग्गामा रामदेव योगकेन्द्र सञ्चालन हुने । यही खबर छापिएका दिन सिनामंगलस्थित पाथिभरा आयुर्वेदिक अस्पतालमा पुगेका एक इन्जिनियरले सुनाए-रामदेवकै अभियानका लागि स्याङ्जा-पर्वतका हजारौं रोपनी जंगल खरिद्ने प्रक्रिया थालिएको छ । योगका नाममा खुलामञ्चमा शारीरिक अभ्यास र उपmीपाप्री गरिरहेका बेला हाम्रा जडिबुटी र वनस्पतिको बजार पनि एकैसाथ 'बाहिरिँदै' गइरहेको यो दुःखान्त स्थितिका बारे किन यहाँ कोही पनि बोलिरहेका छैनन् भन्ने जिज्ञासा आफैंमा अनौठो हुनसक्छ ।
वनस्पति विज्ञहरूका अनुसार, नेपालमा ११ हजारजति वनस्पति छन्, जसमध्ये २६ सय औषधीजन्य -मेडिसिनल प्लान्ट) हामीसँग छन् । सन् १९८८ मा उत्तर कोरिया र पmान्सका विज्ञहरूको एउटा समूहले गरेको अनुसन्धानमा २६ सय जातका नेपाली जडिबुटी र वनस्पतिको प्रचुर अन्तर्राष्ट्रिय बजार रहेको खुलाएको थियो । त्यसलगत्तै दक्षिण कोरियाली विज्ञको एउटा समूहले नेपाल आएर वनआलुका बारे अनुसन्धान गरेका थिए । उनीहरूले पूर्वी पहाडी जिल्ला इलाम पुगेर त्यहाँका किसानहरूलाई 'वनआलुको खेती गर्न सक्नुहुन्छ भने हामी सुरुमै एडभान्स रकम बुझाउँछौं' समेत भनेका थिए । गिठ्ठा, भ्याकुरजस्तै औषधीजन्य तत्त्व रहेको वनआलुमा १६ किसिमका 'इनर्जेटिक इलिमेन्ट' पाइने शोध पनि कोरियाली विज्ञ समूहले गरेको थियो ।

टेरोरा, गजो, मोदेक, लाङ्घाली, भुइँचम्पा, सहस्रमूल, बिजी, चितुजस्ता दुर्लभ जडिबुटी खोज्दै नेपाल आउनेहरू आज रामदेवमात्रै होइन, थुप्रै देवहरू छन् । नेपालमा मात्रै पाइने अन्तर्राष्ट्रिय महत्त्वको 'मुभिङ प्लान्ट' -नाच्ने वनस्पति) को शोध गर्नेहरू स्वदेशी होइन, विदेशी विज्ञहरू यहाँ छन् । हाम्रा जडिबुटी प्रशोधन केन्द्र र सिंहदरबार वैद्यखाना कहीं कतै सुस्ताइरहेका बेला डाबर र अन्य अन्तर्राष्ट्रिय कम्पनीहरू हिमाल-पहाड-तराईका वनपाखामा डुलिरहेको अवस्था छ । फेरि हाम्रो सरकारी संयन्त्र कस्तो छ भने उच्चकोटीको रसायन 'स्वर्णभष्म' तयार गर्ने क्रममा विगतमा सिंहदरबार वैद्यखानाले अख्तियारसम्म धाउनुपरेको थियो । विश्वकै एकमात्र देशमा र अझ हाम्रै हिमाली भेगमा मात्र पाइने 'ट्याक्सस बोगडा' -ढ्याङग्रे सल्लो) को जरैदेखि उखेलेर लगिएको प्रमाण बाहिर आइसकेको छ । क्यान्सरका लागि अचुक औषधी रहेको 'ट्याक्सस बोगडा'को जरा ताइवानको राजधानी ताइपेइमा पाइएको समाचार धेरैअघि सार्वजनिक भइसकेको छ ।
रामदेव र उनका शिष्यहरूले 'नेपाल जडिबुटीको खानी' भनेर बोलेपछि ताली बजाउन अग्रसर हुने नेपाली नेता, राजनेता, उद्यमी र व्यवसायीहरू अहिले रामदेवमा शरणागत छन् । शरीर विज्ञानमात्रै होइन, सरकार बनाउनेदेखि ढाल्नेसम्मको अचुक उपाय 'रामदेव' हुन् भनेझैं गरी अनेक आसनमा आज्ञाकारी बालकझैं खुलामञ्चमा लम्पसार पर्नेहरूको दृश्य आफैंमा रमितलाग्दो छ । अहिलेसम्म जम्मा २२ प्रतिशत नेपालीमात्रै आयुर्वेद उपचारमा निर्भर रहेको तथ्यांकका सामु नेता-राजनेताहरूले 'पहिले आफूलाई चिन्नु' जरुरी छ । हामी नजानिँदोगरी कसरी परनिर्भर र अस्तित्वहीन बन्दै गइरहेका छौं भन्ने दृष्टान्त खोज्न धुलिखेलमा खुल्नलागेको योगकेन्द्र अथवा स्याङ्जा-पर्वतका पहाडी पाखामा अहिल्यै पुगे हुन्छ, जहाँ छिर्न अब केही महिनापछि हामी आफैंले 'पूर्वअनुमति' लिनुपर्ने हुनसक्छ ।

सिंहदरबार वैद्यखाना आज के छ, के गर्दैछ ? जडिबुटी प्रशोधन केन्द्र राजनीतिक भागबन्डाका महाप्रबन्धकलाई स्वागत अथवा विदाइ गर्न र 'सन्चो' निकाल्नबाट कति अघि बढेको छ ? यहाँ रामदेवको योगाको मात्रै कुरा छैन, हाम्रो जडिबुटी, वनस्पति, वनजंगल र अस्तित्वको पनि कुरा जोडिएको छ भनेर योगामा धाउने प्रधानमन्त्री माधवकुमार नेपालले कति बुझेका होलान् ? मधेसलाई छुने चुरे भेग र यहाँको माटो, बालुवा, ढुंगा जोगाउन मन-वचन-कर्मले लागिपर्नुभएका महामहिम राष्ट्रपतिलाई हामीकहाँ पाइने ११ हजार प्रकारका जडिबुटीबारे कत्तिको चासो र चिन्ता छ ?
हो, यो रामदेवको योगाभन्दा पनि हाम्रो अस्तित्वको कुरा हो । राज्यक्रान्तिका बेला इरानबाट देश छाडेर इजिप्ट, मोरक्को, बहमास र अन्य मुलुकमा बास खोज्दै हिँडेका पूर्वराजा मोहम्मद रेजा शाह पहल्वीले भनेका रहेछन्- 'जतिबेला म इरानमा थिएँ, त्यसबेला मैले आफ्नो देशलाई बुझ्न सकिन । अहिले मैले मेरो देश राम्ररी बुझेको छु । तर म इरानमा छैन ।' आशा गरौं, हामीले यो हदको पराकाष्ठा व्यहोर्नु नपरोस् ।

LOVE UNEXPRESSED!!!

2009-03-31T09:12:00.002+05:30

2005

It started…I don’t know when and how. It just started…My heart leaped up at a glance of him. When they saw him walking across our college, most students (specially girls) could not help but notice him. He was tall and lanky with Aryan look; he had beautiful black eyes just perfect on his fair complexion. His wet-silky black hair flipped back above his forehead and his eyebrows always cocked upward when he was in deep conversation with teachers, friends and everybody. He was tender, thoughtful, charming and profound. And one thing he never forgot to carry with him…SMILE. It was breathtaking.

------ I was scared of him. -------

I used to sit at the second front bench in classroom with my best friend Poo who sat next-left to me. One day I told her about my strange feelings for him and showed him to her. She looked at me with her loving eyes and teasing smile. From that day on, whenever he used to pass by us we looked at each other and giggle. Sometimes when only one of us saw him passing by we’d slightly give a push or pinch to another and we ‘d both look (pretending not) at him till he disappeared from our sight. Then we’d look at each other and give a sigh with smile. After sometime you could hear our giggly laughter again.

He scared me because he was a real heartthrob and brilliant. When I used to see him I don’t know what used to happen to me that my heart used to beat so fast and loud that I could feel my chest jumping and hear the every beat of my heart clearly. Once I was heading for my class when I suddenly found myself FACE TO FACE with him. My heart stopped. I don’t remember what I did but he stared me which I can say ‘a long stare’ then gave me a loving smile and walked away. I didn’t dare to look back at him. I stood there like a statue; I don’t know for how long. Later I was sitting in my class…still trembling with red-hot face.

I was an ambitious teenage girl. I had my own goal, own destiny and a dream to fulfill. And…and that was the reason why I was scared of him. My feelings for him was beyond friendship…and I was afraid thinking those feelings may mislead me and stop me from what I wanted to be. So, I suppressed my emotions that were for him…just for him. When I ignored them I felt enough pain in my heart. I used to burst in tears as it was so hard to control and the pain was unbearable. I used to cry myself to sleep every night. Anyway, I managed to go on for my ambition ignoring my emotions for him. But my eyes never stopped searching for just a glance of him.

Seven months after I had met him, he left college as he had completed his course. And I…I had to stay one more year to complete my course. –He was one batch senior than me. – Again, I went through the same emotional pain. Only the difference was that this one was more stronger and more painful than previous one.

Now, I’ve achieved my dreams and I am ready for the warm relationship with him and I suddenly realize that he has gone too far for me to reach. I have lost him. But still my eyes are searching for a glance of him in every crowd that passes by me or I pass by and my heart is beating for a warm nearness of him.

I wonder if he ever knew about it…

In closing, I’d like to offer you words from Barbara De Angelis. She wrote, “ You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.” If only I had told him that I loved him; he could have been standing on my side and I could have got everything I wished for because I would have the greatest boon of world - “His Love”.

सुदूरपश्चिम ुफोटो प्रदर्शनीु एवं सांस्कृतिक उत्सव!

2009-03-28T18:29:00.003+05:30

काठमाडौं - भित्र छिर्दाबिट्टिकै भित्तामा झुण्डाइएका सुन्दर हिमालका मनमोहक दृश्यहरु देख्दा लाग्थ्यो त्यहाँ ती फोटा आगन्तुकहरुलाई स्वागत गर्नका लागि राखिएका हुन् ।

कैलाश हिमाल देखि गुत्पाल शैपाल तपोवन शालिमार अनि बहुरानी हिमाल जस्ता सेतै हिउँले ढाकिएका सुदूरपश्चिमका सुन्दर हिमालहरुको सुर्यदय देखि लिएर सूर्यास्तसम्ममा देखिने सुन्दरतालाई टपक्क टिपेर काठमाडौंमा लिएको जस्तो सुदूरपश्चिमको ुफाटो प्रदर्शनीु त्रिपुरेश्वर स्थित बल्र्ड ट्रेड सेन्टरमा विहीवार देखियो ।

जति हेर् यो उती मन प्रशन्न बनाउँने प्रदशनीमा राखिएका विभिन्न हिमालका फोटोपछि अर्को खण्डमा राखिएका पहाडी अनि तराई जनजीवनका रंगीन क्षणहरुका फोटोहरुले पनि उत्तिकै प्रशंसा पाइराखेका थिए ।

प्रशंसा गर्ने भिडमा सुदूरपश्चिमको तल्कोट बेदकाली गाउँमा जन्मेका गायक नन्दकृष्ण जोशी पनि थिए । आ७३टज्ञद्धद्धण्सनो अगाडिका फोटालाई उत्साहित हुँदै निहालीरहेका जोशीले भावविभोर हुदै भने - ुसधंै म देउडावाट आ७३टज्ञद्धद्धण्सनो जन्मभूमिको याद गरेको थिएँ तर आज यी फोटोहरुबाट सिधै गाउँ पुगेझै लाग्यो

शैपाल हिमालबाट बगेर आएको सेतीगँगा नदी र सुरमा सरोवरबाट कलकल बग्दै लाएको बाउलीगाड नदी चैनपुरमा भेट भएर कणार्ली बनाउन सँगै बगेको फोटोले काठमाडौंमा दिनको १६ घन्टा लोडसेडिङ्को मार खेपिराखेकालाई अविस्वाशीलो टाउको हल्लाउन बाध्य बनाएको थियो । नजिकै झुण्डाइएका बजाङ्गी राजा जयपृथ्वी बहादुर िसंहको दरबारले इतिहास सम्झाइराखेको थियो भने शैलेश्वरी बैधनाथ त्रिपुरा सुन्दरी खप्तड जस्ता विभिन्न मन्दिरहरुले सुदूरपश्चिमलाई धार्मिक स्थलको रुपमा परिचित गराएको देखिन्थ्यो ।

अर्को पट्टिको भित्तामा राखिएका उग्रतारा मन्दिरको गाँज खेत जोत्दै गरेका हलिया घर लिप्दै गरेकी बुढी आमा आ-आ७३टज्ञद्धद्धण्सना भेषभुषामा सजिएर मुसुक्क मुस्कुराएका युवती छलियादेखि पुतला मारुनी मङ्ग्रहवा सखिया नाँच नाचिराखेका तरवार र ढाल बोकेर खड्ग र चौलो नृत्यद्वारा युद्ध कला प्रदशन गरिराखेका जिवन्त तस्विरहरुले सुदूरपश्चिमको जीवनशैली झल्काइराखेको थियो । यता पट्टिको खण्डमा भने सर्पजस्तो घुमेको पहलमान िसंह राजमार्गको दृश्यसँगै खप्तड राष्ट्रिय निकुाज र शुक्लाफाँटा वन्यजन्तु आरक्षमा पाइने सुन्दर सुनगाभादेखि घाँसेमैदानमा खेलिराखेका मृगको बथान र आकाशगंगामा पखेटा फिजाएर रमाइराखेका गिद्धका फोटाले दर्शकलाई फर्कि फर्कि हेर्न बाध्य बनाएको थियो ।

ुयी फोटाबाट मलाई सुदूरपश्चिम पुगेझै लागेको छ । कति राम्रो रहेछ भविष्यमा म त्यहाँ अवश्य घुम्न जाने छुु फोटो प्रदशनीमा रमाइराखेकी काठमाडौंबासी सरीता श्रेष्ठले भनिन् । उत्सवमा उनले सुदूरपश्चिमेलीे सांस्कृतिक नृत्यहरु र खानाका विभिन्न परिकार चाखेपछिमात्र घरतिर लाग्ने बताइन् ।

महोत्सवको अवलोकन गर्न राजधानिको त्रिपुरेश्वर स्थित बल्र्ड ट्रेड सेन्टरमा पुगेका पूर्व प्रधानमन्त्री शेरवहादूर देउवाले विहिवार महोत्सवको उद्घाटन गरेका थिए । ुयी फोटा हेरेर मलाई थाहा भयो म जन्मेको ठाउँ कति सुन्दर छ । मैले कति ठाउँ त घुमेकै रहेन छु । अचम्म लागिराखेको छु उनले फोटो प्रदर्शनीमा राखिएका फोटा हेर्दै भने ।

ुयस्तो सुन्दर क्षेत्रलाई सरकारले आउँदो भिजिट नेपाल - २०११ को लागि विशेष प्रचार-प्रसार गर्नुपर्छु देउवाले जोड दिदै थपे ।

यस ुसुदुरपश्चिम ुफोटो प्रदर्शनीु एवं सास्कृतिक उत्सवु विहीवारदेखि आउदो आइतवारसम्म लाग्नेछ । उत्सवमा थारुको धमाली नाँचदेखि बैतडीको थलिया अछामको भुवा हुड्के जस्ता विभिन्न स्थानिय सांस्कृतिक नृत्यहरु प्रस्तुत गरिने र सुदुरपश्चिमका सबै किसिमका खानाका परिकार राखिने आयोजकले बताए ।

उत्सवका आयोजक कैलाली उद्योग वाणिज्य संघका महासचिव दिनेश राज भण्डारीले यस उत्सवले देशको विभिन्न भागमा सुदूरपश्चिमको प्रचार-प्रसार गर्नुका साथै यसका सम्भावनाका वारेमा उजागर गर्ने आशा व्यक्त गरे ।

प्रदर्शनीमा राखिएका फोटा पुस्तक र डीभीडिमा ५० प्रतिशत छुट दिइएको छ ।

असरल्ल किताब!

2009-03-19T20:27:00.002+05:30

स्मिता मगर

किताबको रासमाथि ध्वाँसो पोतिएजस्तो दृश्य देखिन्छ । धूलोले छोपेका किताब कतै डोरीले बाँधेर बन्डलमा राखिएका छन्, केही छरपस्ट । साझा प्रकाशनको पुल्चोकस्थित मुख्यालयको किताब गोदामको दृश्य हो यो जुन महिनौं र वर्षौंदेखि उस्तै छ ।

साझा प्रकाशनभन्दा बाहिरबाट बिक्रीका लागि ल्याइएका र थन्किएर बसेका पुस्तकमा निकै नाम चलेकादेखि नामै नसुनिएकासम्मको रास छ । बच्चैदेखि किताबलाई सरस्वती मानेर ढोग्ने बानी लागेका नेपाली पाठकलाई भित्ते र्‍याकमा पुस्तक तल्र्याङ्तुर्लुङ झुन्डाइएको दृश्य अनौठो पनि लाग्छ । 'कोठामा यताउता गरेका बेला दुई/तीनपटक किताबको चाङमा ठोकिएन भने त अचम्मै हुन्छ,' स्टोरकिपर लक्ष्मण पोखरेलले हाँस्दै भने, 'अब त यो रासमा छिर्ने र पुस्तक खोज्ने बानी परिसकेको छ ।'

पोखरेलका अनुसार गोदाममा २०२२ सालमा प्रकाशन भएदेखिका पुस्तक थुपि्रएका छन् । संख्या मात्रै १ करोडको हाराहारी अनुमान छ । १० रुपैयाँदेखि ३ हजार रुपैयाँ मूल्यसम्मका पुस्तक थन्किएका छन् । उपन्यासकार धुव्रचन्द्र गौतमको उपन्यास 'मौन' देखि डायमण्ड शमशेरको 'धनको धब्बा' र कवि श्रवण मुकारुङको नाटक 'यलम्बर' सम्म थुपि्रएका छन् । सबैभन्दा बढी नबिक्ने र थुपि्रने सूचीमा कवितासंग्रह छन् । 'किरा, धमिरा र मुसाबाट जोगाउन औषधि पनि छर्कन्छौं,' पोखरेलले भने ।

साझाले बिक्रीका लागि किताब लिनुभन्दा पहिले प्रकाशक वा लेखकसँग सम्झौता गर्ने गरेको र सम्झौता गरेको तीन वर्षपछि बिक्री नभएका किताब फिर्ता लानुपर्ने सर्त रहने गरेको प्रशासन शाखाका प्रबन्धक धीरेन्द्रराज खनालले बताए । 'तर यो सम्झौताको कार्यान्वयन फाट्टफुट्टले मात्रै गर्ने गरेकाले यहाँ गोदाम भरिएको हो,' खनाल भन्छन् ।

साझाका अर्का एक कर्मचारीका अनुसार पटकपटक आफ्नो किताब लिन आउनुस् भन्ने सूचना प्रकाशन गर्दा पनि स्रष्टाहरू नआइदिनाले किताबको रास लागेको हो । लेखकहरूको ध्यानाकर्षण गर्नकै लागि भए पनि डोजर लगाएर गोदाम खाली गर्नुपर्ने स्थिति आइसकेको उनी बताउँछन् । 'तर पुस्तक जस्तोमा डोजर लगाउन पनि मिलेन,' उनले भने ।

गोदाम भरिनुमा लेखक, प्रकाशक तथा वितरक सबैको उत्तिकै कमजोरी रहेको साहित्यकार ध्रुवचन्द्र गौतमको भनाइ छ । साझाका पूर्वमहाप्रबन्धकसमेत रहेका गौतमले भने, 'सबै पुस्तक नबिक्लान् तर जति बिक्री हुनुपर्ने हो नहुनुमा साझाको वितरण प्रणाली उचित नहुनाले हो ।'

उनका अनुभवमा राम्ररी सुरक्षा नगरिदिने र बजारमा समयमा नपुर्‍याइदिनाले पनि पुस्तकको रास जमेको हो तर प्रकाशन शाखाका एक कर्मचारी भने बजारमा बिक्री नभएका र हुन नसक्ने पुस्तक गोदाममा बुझाइने 'बाध्यता' सुनाउँछन् ।

गोदाममा पुस्तक थन्किनेमध्येका कवि श्रवण मुकारुङ भने 'साझा प्रकाशनले स्वतन्त्ररूपमा पुस्तक प्रकाशन गर्नेलाई असमान व्यवहार गरेको' बताउँछन् । 'हाम्रा किताब बजारमा समयमै पुर्‍याइँदैन, प्रदशनीमा पनि राखिँदैन जब कि हाकिम, कर्मचारीका किताब भने ठाउँठाउँमा समयमै पुर्‍याइने गरेको छ ।'

लेखकको समस्या आफ्नै छ । 'आफ्ना किताब घरमा राखेर पनि के गर्ने ? बिक्री संयन्त्र छैन । मेरा केही पुस्तक साझामा थन्किएका होलान्,' उपन्याकार गौतमले भने । यता साझाका प्रबन्धक खनाल पनि स्रस्टाहरूको सहमतिमा गोदाममा थन्किएका पुस्तक पुस्तकालयलाई दिन सकिने सुझाव दिन्छन् । उनले साझाको दायित्वभित्र नभएका पुस्तक माग गरिएको अवस्थामा निःशुल्क दिन थालिएको पनि बताए । 'किरालाई ख्वाउन किन थुपार्ने ? पुस्तकप्रेमी संस्था र समुदायलाई बाँड्न थालेका छौं,' उनले भने । फेरि कवि मुकारुङ भने पुस्तकलाई बजारमै नपुर्‍याइ पुस्तकालयमा दिनु अर्को बदमासी हुने तर्क राख्छन् ।

गोदाममा 'जेल जर्नल' लगायतका केही बिकाउ पुस्तक पनि छन् जसलाई साझा कर्मचारीका अनुसार 'स्टक' मा राखिएको हो, गोदाममा थन्क्याइएको भने होइन ।

(Source:http://www.kantipuronline.com/kolnepalinews.php?&nid=185228)

Its Raining!!!! La..Lah...Lah...:)

2009-03-18T20:03:00.005+05:30

Its raining...Its raining and its raining!

Ohhhh....so cool! This winter had passed without a drop of rain from the sky this year, claiming itself a title of 'driest winter ever!' but now with the start of Spring, rain God has finally given us what we all had been praying for! Thank God its raining...or may be it stopped now...not so sure but hey hey heyyyy....at least it rained....Now, for time being I am sure we will be able to breath in a fresh air and see some fresh greeneries around Kathmandu. Isn't that Cool, or what!

For few days the weather had been so gloomy and dusty, it was irritating everyone and had given headache (I mean literally!) to many of them. When I had left home for the usual, it was not so different from yesterdays. Whole day, I failed to notice anything extra-ordinary about weather than before (I was too busy teasing people around me...today, my hormone for teasing others was extra-active in the surface!). So, when I was out of Kantipur Publications heading for home this afternoon around 6:30, it was all windy and the sky was frighteningly dark but I felt so so happy...and I actually clapped and did the titanic-wing move right there, outside the gate. Then I saw the first lightening, it was so out-of-no-where I nearly had a stroke!

I called my brother Ajay to do shopping with me. I was constantly frightened by loud sound of thundering and of light traveling through the areas where there was load-shedding. So, when I found Ajay standing by the Kathmandu Mall I really felt releaved. But, as soon as we entered the Mall it started drizzling. When we finished our shopping it was raining pretty heavy...but we thought we should head for home as it was getting late. Now, as I am shivering with cold I am regreting the decision. The rain was so so chilling while driving in a motorcycle...On the way home, I saw people sheltering under trees and by the houses! All the black ditches on the typical Kathmandu road were filled with dirty water...when vehicles passed by those they made fountains of it...which was also one of the reason those walkers-by were all drenched from head to toe. Irritating part to say!

But, can you smell the soil, the mud, the Earth...the smell is so delightful and so so fresh...so good! I am happy...tomorrow it will not be a dusty and gloomy day!

टुँडिखेलमा ताप्लेजुङ

2009-03-15T07:23:00.002+05:30

स्मिता मगर

काठमाडौं, ओल्लो कुनामा मगमगाएको तोम्बा, पल्लोमा मुखै रसाउने बङ्गुरको भुटन र चौरको बीचमा लिम्बूहरूको नाँचौंनाचौं लाग्ने धान नाच । ताप्लेजुङको यो रंगरस शुक्रबार दिउँसो काठमाडौंको टुँडिखेलमा देखियो ।

शुक्रबार सुरु दुईदिनेे ताप्लेजुङ मेलामा सुदूरपूर्वी पहाडी जिल्लाका एक होइन, अनेक झलक देख्न पाइयो । याकको छुर्पी, हातबाट बनेका धागाका कपडा, जडिबुटी औषधिसहितका ७५ स्टल आफैंमा घुमिरहुँझैं थिए । पहिलो दिनमा नै टुँडिखेलमा ठूलो जमात उपस्थित थियो । सांस्कृतिक भेषभूषामा सजिएर आएका युवायुवती पनि हूलमा थिए । त्यही भिडमा धाननाच हेर्दै बङ्गुरको मासु स्वादिलो मानेर खाइराखेकी सोलुखुम्बुकी दिलकुमारी राईले भनिन्, 'ताप्लेजुङको मेला कस्तो होला भन्ने कौतूहल मेटाउन टुँडिखेलभित्र छिरेकी थिएँ, एकदम रमाइलो भइराखेको छ ।'

'ताप्लेजुङलाई चिनौं, ताप्लेजुङसँग रमाऔं' नारालाई अझ बुझाउँदै मेला संयोजक बलबहादुर तामाङले भने, 'ताप्लेजुङमा आन्तरिक तथा बाह्य पर्यटक आकषिर्त गर्न मेला आयोजना गरिएको हो ।' गत फागुन दोस्रो सातामा फुङलिङमै ताप्लेजुङ महोत्सव भए पनि अरू भेगका दर्शकको उपस्थिति त्यति नदेखिएकाले सबैलाई सुदूर थलो चिनाउन काठमाडौंमा अर्को मेला आयोजना गरिएको उनले बताए ।

मेलामा धाननाच नाचिराखेकी गायिका झुमा लिम्बूले जिल्लाका आफन्त भेट्न पाएकामा खुसी हुँदै भनिन्, 'धेरै समयपछि एकैपटक मेरा जिल्लाका यति धेरै आफन्तजन भेट्दै छु, खुसी लागेको छ ।' उनले यो मेलाले ताप्लेजुङका नयाँ कलाकारलाई नयाँ अनुभवका साथै जिल्लाबाहिरका दर्शकसामु चिनिने अवसर दिने बताइन् ।

मेलामा महिला र पुरुष दुवैको डोरी तान्ने खेल प्रतियोगिताले यता खेलाडीलाई मैदानमा उडेको धुलोले फुस्रैफुस्रो मात्र बनाएन, डोरी तान्दा लडिबुडी भएका खेलाडी र तिनलाई हेरिराखेका दर्शक पेट मिचिमिचि हाँसेका थिए । अर्कोतिर भने पुरुष भलिबल प्रतियोगिताको जोस र दुवै टिमले जित्नका लागि बगाएको पसिनाले दर्शकलाई घरिघरि ताली बजाउन बाध्य बनाएको थियो ।

मेलामा ताप्लेजुङका प्रतिभा मनोज गजुरेल, नवीन सुब्बा, दीपक लिम्बू, जुना प्रसाईंलगायतका कलाकारको जमघट भने शनिबार हुँदै छ ।

मेला प्रसारप्रचार समिति संयोजक टंक श्रेष्ठले तराई बन्दका कारण जिल्लाबाट आउनुपर्ने जति सामान नआएको बताए । 'सबै सरसामान हवाईमार्ग र एम्बुलेन्सबाट ल्याइएका हुन्, बेच्ने सामान त ल्याउनै पाइएन,' उनले थपे ।

गोठभन्ज्याङमा क्याम्प-फायर

2009-03-12T23:33:00.002+05:30

स्मिता मगर

ललितपुर, होली उपत्यकामा रहेका तराईमूलका बाहेकले मंगलबार मनाए । ठूलो जमात रंग दलादल र पानी छ्यापाछ्यापमा मस्त रह्यो । उपत्यका खाल्डामै रहेका तन्नेरीको अर्को जमात भने फागु मनाउन भिन्न उद्देश्यसाथ दलचोकी गोठभन्ज्याङमा थियो ।

पचास तन्नेरी करिब तीन घन्टाको कच्ची बाटो छिचोल्दै भट्टेडाँडानजिकैको मनोरम भन्ज्याङमा पुगेका थिए । अंग्रेजी लेखक टमस हार्डीको 'फार पmम द म्याडिङ क्राउड' मा भनिएझैं उनीहरू एकान्तमा बढी नै आनन्दित देखिन्थे ।

'फागु पूणिर्मा हर्ष र उमंगको उत्सव भए पनि उपत्यकामा पर्वका नाममा विकृति फैलेको छ,' तन्नेरीहरूलाई अगुवाइ गरेर दलचोकी पुर्‍याइसकेपछि युवा अभियानका उपाध्यक्ष रूख गुरुङले भने, 'त्यसको प्रतीकात्मक विरोध जनाउन यहाँ आएका हौं ।' विशेषतः सृजनात्मक कामसँगै कलासंस्कृतिको सम्मान गर्न दशकदेखि होली यसरी मनाउन थालेको उनले जानकारी दिए ।

राष्ट्रिय युवा सेवा र स्मार्ट क्लबको समेत सक्रियतामा जुटेको हूलमा दन्त चिकित्सकदेखि राष्ट्रिय फुटबल खेलाडी, मोडलदेखि विद्यार्थीसम्म थिए ।

लगनखेलमा मंगलबार बिहानै जुटेको जमात मध्याह्नतिर गन्तव्य पुगेको थियो । सुत्ने र खानेबस्ने चाँजो अभियानले स्थानीय बासिन्दाको घरमै मिलाएको रहेछ । तन्नेरीहरूले गुन्द्रुकको अचारले जिब्रो पड्काउँदै खाना खाए । भोटुडाँडाको हाइकिङमा रमाए । सल्ला र लालीगुँरासले भरिएको भोटुडाँडाको टुप्पाबाट उपत्यकाको क्रंक्रिट जंगल देखिए पनि सहभागीहरू वीरगन्ज सहरतर्फ लालायित भए तर तुवाँलोले तराईको औद्योगिक नगरीलाई ढपक्क ढाकेको थियो ।

घुमघामपछि गोठभन्ज्याङ पुग्नुको खास काम सुरु भयो ।

युवाहरू भोटुडाँडाबाट अलि तल मनकामना मन्दिरमा झरे । मन्दिर पु+mग उडेको थियो । साथै ल्याएको पेन्ट, चुना, कुचोले उनीहरू मन्दिरका भित्ता उजिल्याउन थाले ।

'गोरखाको मनकामनाकै प्रतिरूप मानिने यो मन्दिरमा वैशाखमा मेला लाग्ने भएकाले गाउँलेले रंगरोगन गर्न आग्रह गरेका थिए,' युवा अभियानका महासचिव विपिन पोखरेलले भेद खोले । सहरी युवालाई गाउँले जीवनको झल्को दिनु पनि उद्देश्य रहेको उनले बताए ।

तन्नेरीहरूले मन्दिर परिसरमा सरसफाइ पनि गरे । विगतमा अभियानले ललितपुरको बिष्टाछाप गाउँमा बाटो खन्ने, खेलमैदान, पानीट्यांकी बनाउने गरेको रहेछ ।

'साह्रै रमाइलो भयो,' एनआरटीका फुटबल खेलाडी बालगोपाल साहुखलले भने, 'थप सामाजिक काम गर्नुपर्ने थियो ।'

युवा जमघटबाट दलचोकी गाविसका निवर्तमान अध्यक्ष रामशरण आलेमगर पनि कम उत्साहित थिएनन् । 'यिनले हाम्रो गाउँको विकासमा लाग्न हौस्याएका छन्,' उनले सुनाए ।

दलचोकी गाउँ जान प्रत्येक सहभागीबाट ४ सय रुपैयाँ लिइए पनि आनन्द र उत्साहसामु त्यो नगण्य भएको प्रत्येकको अनुहारले बताइरहेको थियो ।

उपत्यका खाल्डाबाट 'पहिलोपल्ट बाहिर निस्केकी' काठमाडौंकी नर्सिङ विद्यार्थी प्रविना कर्माचार्य दलचोकी जाने बाटामा लालीगुराँस हेर्नमा मग्न थिइन् । 'एकदम रमाइलो लागिराखेको छ । प्रकृति र गाउँले जीवनको मज्जा लिँदै होली फरक तरिकाले मनाउन पाइयो,' उनले भनिन् ।

तन्नेरीले डन्डीबियोलगायतका खेलबाट पनि आनन्द उठाए । मध्यरातमा गितार र मादल
बजाए, गीत । मंगलबार रात पूर्णेको जून उदाएपछि क्याम्पफायर सुरु भयो जसले झनै लोभ्यायो । क्याम्पफायरको तातोमा दोहोरी खेल्ने र आलु पोलेर खानेहरू पनि रौसिए ।

(source: www.ekantipur.com)

Poem and Others!!!!

2009-03-09T19:17:00.004+05:30

I Can't be Her

Sita? Nay, nay, I'm not.
I can't be her
Nor do I ever bother to be
In this era which is devoid of Rama

I'd like to be my won
Mind and Spirit,
Go on the path I make for self
As determined as Sisyphus, I
Can't dance in other's tune

She, made by the minorities of the present
Prides in what they crowned her with
While the majority of the present, do
Pride in the self-made I

I am not Sita for
There is no Rama for her.
A self-made I, Can't
Toe the line of others.

(This poem is from my upcoming Poetry Book! It is translated from "Ma Sita Hoina" by my teacher 'Keshab Sharma'; the most amazing Literature teacher I ever had ---)

Its been long...many months since I last updated my blog. Many reasons behind it...apart from the obvious reasons like --- network problems and loadshedding....my lazy-bone had some extreme urge to be lazier this season. I apologize to my regular visitors for not updating.

I am very thankful to lots of commentators who really made my lazy bone to give-up on its greap! Thank you so much for your suggestions and all the comments that encourages me to go on doing things that I love! I hope you will be there in my coming future as well! I am grateful for all your precious time and comments!

Ummm....lately, I have been doing nothing of importance. I stayed home, dreamt a lot (I love sleeping), gained some weight (I am not complaining! :P) and enjoyed reading amazing novels. I do not regret it because now I am full of energy...I think I will complete what I have planned to. --- Just joined Kantipur daily as in intern (again for my Bachelors - 3rd Years - Practical in Journalism). Enjoying it...the environment is very lively inside the Kantipur hall!

Also, I am going to MOON CAMP tomorrow to celebrate HOLI - festival of colours! It is organized by Youth Initiatives. It is going to be my second lovely experience. I will write about it when I come back from Battedanda on Wednesday! In detail --- its a promise!

“The Sari Soldiers”

2008-06-05T07:11:00.005+05:30

Six Nepalese Women with Different Ideologies Find Common Ground Through Film!

Smita Magar

Kathmandu, December 22-These two strong women came together to film other six strong women‘s real life stories with different perspectives on the ongoing decade-long conflict in the country; on their reels.

A decade of bloody people’s war left Nepal with deep scars that no one knows when they will heal. These two strong women saw the extraordinary power hidden beneath the scars on six particular Nepalese women who struggled to overcome their loss and found the hope to fight on from different poles to reach the destinations they believed in.

These two strong women are Julie Bridgham and Ramyata Limbu; director/producer and co-producer of the documentary “The Sari Soldiers”. In 2005, during the time of the Maoist insurgency in Nepal, one, an American woman, the other, a 7 months pregnant Nepali woman took their chances and started filming the documentary. “It was very difficult and very challenging epecially after King Gyanendra’s coup on February 1st. We had no idea which direction the country was headed and also it was very difficult to physically reach some of the characters of our film,” said Julie Bridgham. “For Julie, being an American during those times was in some way dangerous because Maoists had their different way of looking at American citizens so we had to take considerable precautions,” Ramyata Limbu added.

The documentary observes six extraordinary women’s lives and their involvement in the decade-long conflict. The women include Devi Sunuwar, mother of a "disappeared" daughter Maina Sunuwar, a human rights attorney Mandira Sharma, an anti-Maoist village leader Krishna Shahi, a street protesting student activist & leader Ram Kumari Jhakri, a Royal Nepal Army officer Rajani K.C, and a Maoist People’s Liberation Army Brigadier Commissar Kamala Roka alias Kranti. It shows the role of women on all sides of the conflict as well as the greater political and human rights issues in the decade-long insurgency. It reveals their participation in major political events, exposes their victimization while showing the positive roles they played in transforming Nepal using bold steps to lead with their beliefs.

Though the Sari in the name is a metaphorical name for female-civilians, director Bridgham said “Each is a fascinating individual making significant impacts in the country, with her own perspective of looking at the conflict of the country. Each is to be celebrated as a person in herself, not in particular as a women.” While Limbu smilingly added that her life has been enriched by meeting those totally different, and yet so similar individuals, each with strong determination and each struggling through the conflict, it was a very wonderful experience for her to see the characters unfold through the different events.

Apart from the challenges they had to face while filming the documentary, Bridgman and Limbu shared another challenge when they showed their film to the six women together in the studio. “We were very nervous that day. We had brought all of them together in one place for the very first time. At first, there was hardly any communication between them, but then after seeing the documentary they talked about it with each other and interacted freely. The environment became more enjoyable then,” said Limbu remembering that memorable day.

After seeing the audience response in their two special screenings of the documentary in Nepal, the film makers are very excited. “It’s great to see people responding strongly to the film. We hope it will be shown the film. We hope it will be shown all over Nepal and result in discussion, dialogue and understanding between people with different views about the decade long conflict,” states Bridgham. She further added that they are hoping viewers will understand why these six women who hold different opinions are able to reach common understanding.

"The Sari Soldiers” delves into how women were increasingly involved in the conflict and for that, it is a captivating film. Each story touches the audience emotionally, changing their emotions with the changes of the story in the film. “The documentary is very powerful. Being able to combine each perspective and give full justice to each personality in the film is remarkable,” said one of the characters of the film, Ram Kumari Jhakri Magar said.

Photo courtesy: 1st & 2nd photos are provided by Julie Bridgham director/producer of the documentary “The Sari Soldiers”.

(Source:- www.usnepalonline.com)

पारिजात सङ्घर्षशील पुरस्कार अर्की सङ्घर्षशील नारीलाई

2008-05-17T07:19:00.004+05:30

Parijat and Her Legacy Bearers

Smita Magar

Kathmandu, May 11

The three awards named after the famous Nepalese writer Parijat, were given to three prominent Nepalese: Gazal writer Bund Rana Magar, youth leader Ram Kumari Jhakri Magar and artist Kiran Manandhar.

The special event was organized by Parijat Memorial Center on the 14th Parijat Memorial Day.

Bund Rana Magar received the Parijat Creation Award (Parijat Srijanshil Puraskar), Kiran Manandhar received the Parijat Art Award (Parijat Kala Puraskar) and Ram Kumari Jhakri Magar received the Parijat Struggles for Women Award (Parijat Sangharsashil Nari Puraskar) in recognition of their outstanding contributions.

Ram Kumari Jhakri noted that Parijat lead and inspired our youth through her strong and powerful contributions in literature and in the cultural/political scene.

Thanking organizers for the honor, Jhakri said “I am receiving this award on behalf of all Nepali youth who want to create a better Nepal”.

Artist Kiran Manandhar shared his beautiful memories with Parijat. “We artists and writers have the power to change the world using only pen, brush and color. Therefore, like Parijat, we must join hands to build a New Nepal”.

Gazal writer Bund Rana recited his one of the best gazals and announced that he will use his award to publish more of his writings.

Katyayeni, a famous Indian Progressive writer described Parijat’s writings as absurdum and existential crisis as well as describing the political, social and cultural issues of country.

Maoist leader and culture expert Mohan Baidhya “Chaitanya” said “Parijat is a foundation of Nepal’s cultural and literary movement. She has given birth to characters who have fought for more than a decade in the Maoists People’s War, and have emerged victorious.”

Sukanya Waiwa, Parijat’s sister, said it was the happiest and the saddest day for her. “Saddest in that she is no longer with us, happiest in that she continues to live through her writings and her deeds.”

Nepalese poets Sudha Tripathi and Mahesh Maskey also spoke about Parijat.

Each awardee received Rs.10, 000 cash and a Tamrapatra.

Parijat was born in 1937 in Darjeeling, India and arrived in Kathmandu in 1954. She completed high school at Padma Kanya School, Kathmandu and earned a Bachelor of Arts degree. At age 26 she became paralyzed and was supported for the rest of her life by her sister Sukanya Waiba Tamang.

She published three poetry collections, many short stories and ten novels. Her first short story "Mailey Najanmayeko Choro" became an all time favourite. She is best known as a novelist. “ Siris ko Ful” gained the national and international popularity. She was awarded Madan Puraskar for the novel in 1965. She received many other literary awards for her writing and dedication to Nepalese literature.

Parijat was a part of the Ralfa literature movement and played a pivotal role in the establishment of Pragati Sil Lekhan Sangh. She was active in Akhil Nepal Mahila Manch, Bandi Sahayata Niyog, and Nepal Manav Adhikar Sangathan.

Parijat remained unmarried and continued to suffer the pain and struggle against her disabilities. She never gave up. She inspired everyone. She died in 1993. She lives today in the heart of the Nepalese people as one of their heroes.

(Source: http://www.usnepalonline.com/)

Locking horns in the hills!

2008-03-29T04:30:00.001+05:30

By Smita Magar

Posted on: 2008-01-17 01:55:27

“Next year, I'm going to buy a bigger and stronger bull to win the award," said Rudra Bahadur Paudyal of Budhasing-6, Nuwakot. He was one of the participants of the unique "bull-fight" tradition celebrated on the occasion of Maghe Sankranti in Nuwakot.
Despite losing the game on Tuesday afternoon Paudyal said, "This was my first participation at such an event. Therefore, I wasn't aware of all that was needed to win. But, next year I'm certainly going to be very careful and give my bull better nutrients, at least six months ahead of the tournament."
Ironically, Paudyal got injured by his own bull, just when he arrived for the registration. "I couldn't miss this chance; I was very excited to participate and wanted to show that my bull was no less a competitor," he shared.
Like Paudyal, every year when Maghe Sankranti arrives, the people at Nuwakot not only celebrate the day with traditional ghiu-chaku, but also make it a point to make the “bull-fight” a grand ceremony. This year was no exception either. Not only did the locals enjoy the event, some 2,000 neighboring villagers too witnessed the extravaganza.
"As people from places like Dhading, Kathmandu, Syangja and Chitwan too popped in, we experienced many more spectators than what we had last year," highlighted Toran Kumar Shahi, President of Maghe Sankranti Fiesta Management Committee (MFMC).
Along with those who seemed enthralled to witness the show, there were also a few who took it a malpractice in terms of animal rights.
"It is a guilty pleasure," told Rajan Shrestha, a youth who had come to watch the bull fight from Batar, neighboring village of Taruka, Nuwakot.
"Like anyone else I'm here to see how the event is conducted. However, though it has traditional values, I now realize that we human beings have become selfish to such large extent that we can go beyond limits for our pleasure and enjoyment," he added.
Similarly, Purushottam Adhikari, an active member of Human Rights Organization of Nepal (HURON) had his own point of view: "I agree that it's one of the unique cultural practices. Nonetheless, it is also a heinous crime when it comes to animal rights. However, I don't mean that the tradition needs to be abolished; one can instead make sure that neither the bulls nor anyone else gets injured."
According to the villagers the "bull-fight" was incepted in the district some 200 years ago. "Participating in a bull fight has always been an honor, a platform to portray class and status," said Jham Bahadur Pradhan, one of the elder members of the district.
Till a few years ago the winners used to be felicitated with red tika and would be carried on shoulders and with a panche baja procession behind. However, this practice didn't last long as some people did not admire this act. Pradhan put in, "There's nothing wrong in organizing such events. After all, we need to preserve out culture."
Along with a winning trophy, the winner of the competition also gets a hundred rupee.

(Source: The Kathmandu Post)

With 1 surviving speaker, Dura going dodo way

2008-03-29T04:24:00.003+05:30

BY SMITA MAGAR

KATHMANDU, Jan 9 - Soma Devi Dura is 82. Given the life expectancy of an average Nepali, she is nearing her last days. Soma Devi's death won't merely be the death of an individual. The only source of a language of Nepal's western hills will die with her.
Researchers and university professors say the octogenarian lady is the only native speaker of the Dura language, which used to be spoken in parts of Lamjung and Tanahun districts in western Nepal.
"My finding is that the only living person who can speak Dura is Soma Devi," says Kedar Bilash Nagila, a PhD scholar who is writing a thesis on the critically endangered Dura language.
Nagila says Soma Devi is the only authentic source of information for the thesis which he is preparing as a sequel to his MA thesis.
Professor Madhav Prasad Pokharel, a senior linguist at the Central Department of Linguistics at Tribhuvan University says, "In case anything happens to Soma Devi, the entire effort to preserve the endangered language will receive a jolt."
Soma Devi lives in Handikhola of Dura Danda, Lamjung. Her husband, son and five daughters cannot speak Dura.
Nagila said lack of transmission of the Dura language between generations is the major reason behind its becoming endangered, while the dominance of Nepali speakers in surrounding areas is another reason.
Modnath Prashrit, a culture expert, said a language becomes endangered when the community to which it belongs decides that it is an impediment. "Children may discard their native tongue after realizing that other more-widely spoken languages are more useful," he explained.
Kishore Dura, president of Dura Seva Samaj, added, "Government policy promoting only the Khas (Nepali) language also led to the endangering of indigenous languages like Dura".
Dura Seva Samaj and researcher Nagila have been planning to bring Soma Devi to Kathmandu with the support of the National Foundation for Development of Indigenous Nationalities so that the language of which only 1,500 words and 250 sentences have been documented so far can be documented.
"We are very corncerned about the threat faced by the Dura language,"said Lok Bahadur Thapa, member secretary of the Foundation. He said the Foundation is holding discussions with both the researcher and the Dura Seva Samaj to bring Soma Devi to Kathmandu.
To add to the threat faced by Dura, Soma Devi is blind and deaf and would need special hearing equipment to facilitate documentation of the language. "We hope we will be able to overcome the problems soon," said Thapa.
Kishore said there is a ray of hope for the language as it is now being taught to children of the Dura community with the help of the 1,500 words and 250 sentences that have been documented. Two books have already been prepared on the language. "We are trying to publish an edited version of the books," he said.
Prof Yogendra Prasad Yadav, chief of the Central Department of Linguistics at TU, said, "The key to getting a language revitalized is getting a new generation of speakers."

(Source: The Kathmandu Post)

26th Magar Day Celebrated!

2008-03-29T04:17:00.001+05:30

Source: www.usnepalonline.com

Smita Magar
February 27.

The Magar communities celebrated its 26th Magar Day on Thursday in capital demanding the proportional representation in Constituent Assembly (CA) polls and Lakhan Thapa Magar to be declared as the first martyrs of the country.

Starting the celebration with nearly 1,000 Magar participants on the occasion, the rally was taken out from the Bhadrakali to Ratnapark and finally to Bhrikuti Mandap where formal program was conducted.

Inaugurating the program, Minister of Cultural, Tourism and Civil Aviation Prithvi Subba Gurung urged leaders of Magar community to present the facts and essential documents that prove Captain Lakhan Thapa Magar to be the first martyr so that he can start on the process to declare Thapa Magar first martyr of the country. “I request Magar community leaders to present the facts that prove Thapa Magar to be the first martyr as soon as possible. I give my words, if facts support I will myself put forward the process to declare Thapa Magar first martyr of the country,” said Gurung on the program.

Similarly, addressing the crowd he added “For centuries Magar community has been ignored by the state’s ruler and so it has suffered for its ethnic identity, equal rights and representation in country’s administration but now through upcoming CA polls Magar will write their own history. Therefore, it is an opportunity for Magars to write their own history and ensure their rights and representation in the country.”

On the occasion, Nepal Magar Association’s President Jhak Bahadur Thapa handed over the memorandum to Minister Subba Gurung in which mainly three main points are highlighted. They are: Magars to be given the Magarat Autonomous State, Captain Lakhan Thapa Magar to be declared First Martyr of the country and implementation of the full proportional CA poll system on the basis of ethnic population.

Also speaking in the program, Mohan Thapa Magar, coordinator of the Magar Youth Association (MYA) said that State has been ignoring the sacrifice of Magar community. “Every time every ruler has been using Magars as the pillar to its rule/regime, may it be Rana regime, Shah Regime or Maoist but after they are on power they forget the blood spilled by Magars for the betterment of the country,” he said. “They have been insulting our sacrifice but this time we will fight for our identity, rights and representation,” he added.

Further adding he said, “Our main goal at the moment is to establish the Magarat Autonomus Region and for that Magar youths are ready than ever.”

Kumar Thapa Magar, vice-president of Democratic Magar Association stressing over the declaration of Lakhan Thapa Magar as the first martyr of the country said, “My salutes to those Magars of Rupandehi district who established Lakhan Thapa’s statue on the place of King Birendra.” Adding at the program, he said, “Now, it is time for Magars of Kathmandu to put statue of first martyr on the place of King Tribhuban’s statue that is at Shahid Gate.”

On the Lakhan Thapa Magar Day, 2nd of Falgun in Rupandehi, Magars have established Lakhan Thapa Magar’s statue where there used to be King Birendra’s statue which was destroyed during in the beginning of Madhesh Movement last year.

Jhak Bahadur Thapa Magar, President of NMA speaking at a program said that NMA will bring many programs, protests to pressurize government to declare Lakhan Thapa Magar as first martyr, establish the Magarat Autonomous State and implementation of full proportional CA election system. “Our protests and voices will not stop until we get our demands fulfilled,” he added.

Also on the same occasion, President of Tamang Ghedung Association Dhan Prasad Tamang said that like other janajatis he hoped Magar will also fight to get Magarat Autonomous State and its ethnic identity with full proportional representation in CA. “We will be helping each other to fulfill these demands,” Tamang added.

On the same occasion, Kshyam Thapa Magar, former President of Nepal Magar Association of South Korea handing over 1 lakh 73 thousand and 3 hundred to NMA said, “It is a plight of nation and Nepalese people that when an ethnic community is demanding for autonomous state it is taken as the splitting of nation.”

Personalities like Bom Kumari Budha Magar, Bhoj Bikram Budha Magar, Hong Kong Rana Magar, Fatik Thapa Magar and others also spoke in the program calling for all Magar community to join hand and fight for the ethnic identity, rights and maximum representation in upcoming Constituent Assembly.

Magar Day is being celebrated on the occasion of establishment day of Nepal Magar Association which was known as Nepal Langhali Association till 2048 B.S. Nepal Langhali Association was established on Falgun 15 of 2039 and its first National Convention in Damauli had decided to celebrate the day as a Magar Day. Last year Magars had celebrated its Silver Jubilee.

Where I Belong!

2008-03-03T04:04:00.004+05:30

Under the protecting eyes of Ramajima and Mount Sishne, she blossoms in all seasons of the year. There is a very genuine misconception in urban areas about her; many of urban-born affectionately call her ‘mountain’ though in reality she is just a hill. She doesn’t touch the blue sky above her as Mount Everest does. But, she is the only one in the whole world who can take children on her rainbow to travel through the world of heaven and bring them back to herself.

Far from the world of maddening crowed, of plastic and the worldly eyes of intruders, she hides. Here, people born out of her are the only ones who can feel their blood give rush when they see her from miles away because they are so much alike that they are linked with each other to feel each-others heartbeat. These people are out of her seed and are as enigmatic as she is. Only intruders in this virgin society are poets and the God and Goddess of nature. I can guarantee, Laxmi Prasad Devkota must have been the only intruder in this society in his dreams and must have been inspired by her to write every words of his life. These were extraordinary beings with extraordinary powers that linked them with her.

But, if you decide to go and see her leaving your cozy home in Kathmandu, you will have to drive west through almost forgotten-highway for two days in bus and then walk for three days to find her in front of your eyes. After some days of relaxation upon her lap, you will not be able to impede yourself from putting on your hiking shoes. And then, after 3 hours hike through the small trails passing cheerfully through deep wooded forest with artistic old trees standing tall just asking you to appreciate them for their age while thousands of wild flowers beg you to stop and smell their heavenly scent. With those temptation and discovering mysteries hidden behind those rocks of hers if you still can move forward you step on Ramli. And after missing few breaths; standing on grassy sheep pasture when you look around; there, you will discover yet another stimulating reward in those smiling mountains and unfolding hills that extend to the horizon. At that time, your eyes will see the miracle of her; the startling synchronization of natural colour…the valley with scattered villages by the deep blue river and hills raised from those villages extend from being deep green to haze blue in the horizon behind the folds of higher hills and suddenly turn itself white with snow covered mountains behind them protecting and cherishing them.

After that magical moment, when you have caught your breath and you are relaxed you have to look directly below you to see her. With some scattered thatched roof houses, deep green forests and potato, maize, millet and mustards fields, at first you might find her as ordinary as other hills quietly lying next to her. She will not make you gape or reach for your camera like Everest does. But you will discover she will not allow you to turn your head away from her as well. It is that time when you decide to look her closely enough to find something striking hidden inside her. Then you will discover, there is something very intriguing about her. It is a wonder; to find her become alive in front of your very own eyes.

Through her prairie you will see two different worlds within a circle of clock. During day, laying on your back, under the shade of full grown maple tree you will see the blue sky extending to infinity with only a source of light hanging on it. While during night, laying on the terrace, hands under your head you will find yourself staring at the wonder of another world. The world of night yet so bright and so gay with uncountable numbers of stars twinkling in the same clear sky that held sun on its palm during day time; as if someone had quietly slipped to put glitters during dusk to make your heart give a leap in your life.

You will discover, She is a place… a magical place where Echo is still alive under her loving arms. Here, Achillies and Beowulf live in harmony with fire- breathing dragons. Sita and Ram come here to have their romantic moments once in a while. Here, you can find your wishes made on rocks come alive. She is the one who lets people see God in rocks, shows the footprints of them in hills and water. And yet so secretive with her limestone caves and layers of ancient power hidden under bushes you can never expect what might jump out of it. A roaring tiger may chase you towards your home if you wander too far away or wild boar may show you how to dug the jungle and eat earthworms.

Of all people I should know. I have spent my first 9 years wrapped around her arms. Even after parting with her, I have been spending my days with her in my imagination and dreams. The first thing I ever smelled was her sweet scent on her air that gave me life and encouraged me to open my eyes to see her in her full glory. When I was about 2 minutes old I had cried with full joy by sensing her love for the first time. At 4, holding my brothers hand, I had witnessed secrets deep within her. At 7, I had learned birds’ language and was talking with them sitting comfortably on her rhododendron’s palm. Then after a decade I had gone back to her and she had not changed much; she was still the love of my life.

I really don’t remember when exactly love affair began between us. What I am sure of is that I had realized her love even before I was born, even before I existed. It was just like that…when I had breathed in her for the first time I was totally, deeply and madly in love with her.

Yet I fear. I fear, in the tiny moment of her long life-span, my love seems one sided. If she blinks her eyes during the time when I am with her, she will miss me. She will miss to notice my existence. She will not see I ever existed and loved her till the last breath.

But that realization heightens my love even more because that fear gives me a reason to be by her side in every breath of my life: a reason to live, a reason to love and a reason to die. And even after death takes hold of me I will lay a somber sleep in her lap of intoxicating beauty tasting the ambrosia of her core. Yes, this is my wish: to live my whole life wrapped around her arms, and let my body live forever mixed with her in her garden of Nirvana.

I have come to realize, to understand her you need a little bit of black magic. We all do. A little black magic to belong with her, to understand her mysteries and her secrets behind her smile because her subtle beauty is not like a beauty of Everest: instantaneously impressive but nothing more. This instant impressiveness doesn’t give you enough time to create, to reflect and to live with them. That is why we need a little black magic in our lives to understand her subtle beauty because these mysteries and magic crawl up on us slowly giving us enough time to live, love and appreciate life. Life that is so full of mysteries and secrets revealing itself in right time, with right message and meaning showing each day with a little piece of heaven creating smile on beholder like she does.

This is the reason; She and Life are so much intertwined together. Creating a reason to smile, to live, to love and make you believe that you rightfully belong in her heavenly wings of life’s warmth.

[Note: I was born in Jhumlabang of Morabang VDC, Rukum District of Nepal!]

INSPIRING CHILDREN!!!

2007-12-20T22:14:00.000+05:30

"Last Saturday, I had gone in a usual assignment of my internship to a program corncerning with Children. Before reaching there I had thought, the usual...kind of boring programs that I usually end up to. But, when I sat there for a minute and listened to those amazing children talk so confidently and full of energy I had to think they are the ones who will push our generation to do something and prove themselves as the pillal of future!"

Children urged government to address their agendas in coming CA
POST REPORT
KATHMANDU, DEC 15.

“If the children’s agendas are only limited to the politician’s talks instead of being ensured in coming constituent assembly then the politicians, political parties and government don’t have any relevance,” flaunted children-representatives from around the country here at a program on Saturday.
The program was jointly organized by Consortium of Organizations Working for Child Clubs in capital on Saturday.

A child representative Nigam Humagai from Kavre district said, “If children rights will not be ensured in Constitutional Assembly then political parties or government will be irrelevant to us.” We are not only the future pillars of the country but we are the leaders of today so our issues need to be taken seriously by government and political parties, he added.

In a program, children representatives from 48 districts of the country forwarded twelve-points demands among which declaring schools, child clubs and children related areas a peace zone, preventing the use of children in armed force or spy or any kinds of political activities, and involving children while making plans and agendas related to children are included along with other demands.

In a same occasion, different political parties and representatives of organizations working for children made a joint commitment on their twelve-point demands. Pradip Gyawali, central member of Communist Party Nepal (UML), signing a commitment said that parties need to be more sensitive in children’s issues because due to their age group (below 18) they can not take part in ballet. “It is our responsibility to take their voices in right place to implement them efficiently ensuring their rights,” he said.

Also speaking in a program, Gauri Pradhan of National Human Rights Commission (NHRC) said, “Our political parties are very sensitive towards children issues and easily agree on agendas with promise of implementing them efficiently. However, it is never sure when they are going to implement.” But, NHRC will always keep working along with children to ensure their rights and issues from grass-root level to high level, he added.

After witnessing the commitment by political parties, Sikendra Kumar Ram, a child representative from Mahottari is hopeful. “Almost all political parties of Nepal have signed their commitment along with national and international organizations working for children so I am sure our agendas will be addressed by government soon.”

After the signed commitment from political parties they submitted their 12 points demands to Subash Chandra Nembang, the Speaker of House of Representatives on Saturday.

Maoist Revolution in Reels!

2007-12-10T21:52:00.000+05:30

There was a special premiere show of ‘Laal Salaam’; a movie of Maoist movement in Nepal at BICC in Kathmandu last week. Lets say the movie through the eyes of Maoists: a Maoist perspective!

Started in a kind of documentary style, the movie gives the glimpse of Maoist Movement and how it turned into the civil war in the country.

The whole story of the movie revolves round the starting from Maoist declaration of insurgency as an underground party to the peace talk success to the participation in Jana Andolan I and II demolishing the autocratic rule of the King Gyanendra in 2062/63 B.S. It’s all about their journey from underground party to armed insurgency, then to the place in parliament and constitutional government of Nepal.

It’s also the walk of a woman named Trishta from a simple village girl to the combat fighter in Maoist army. The domination in the society in different names, fighting against it and dying for the believes in better future in the battle field.

In the beginning, you might feel awkward at the romantic dialogues between two lovers just before going to attack a barrack. Might even wonder what the director is doing by putting that dialogue in the movie with so much sweat.

Sometimes it seems it is too much exaggerated and yet has failed to raise enough issues for the declaration of war and is not convincing enough. The movie presentation is also poor. It is cinemascope but the picture quality is very poor and not impressing at all. Dialogues also fail to get much attention and appreciation.

The movie could have been better. In trying to include important events in the movie director has messed up the plot and characters. Characters are not well developed, or presented. Well, artists are not touching enough either. Their acting skill needs to be improved from silver to platinum. They look good only when they are fighting. Though Prabhakar has good story but making it alive in the movie has been like a mistake.

As it is the movie which has hands of the party itself, audience expectations may fly high but you might find yourself disappointed for expecting something really good because till the end you wait for something good to happen which doesn’t. My suggestion, don’t fly too high, it will be crushed like a potato.

However, the very instinct of trying to bring the event/civil war which was so much glorious to many people which changed the history of Nepal and started the new path in the country; is appreciable. It must have been more like a re-living those moments for many Maoists and people who were directly and indirectly involved with it.

The movie has not been able to prove its point strongly and clearly as a revolutionary artist should have as progressive peoples’ expectation. However, you will get some glimpse of the 12 years of civil war so the movie could be worth to watch for some of you movie-lovers.

Wind beneath Wings!

2007-11-29T00:14:00.000+05:30

TEACHERS ARE THOSE WHO USE THEMSELVES AS BRIDGES OVER WHICH THEY INVITE THEIR STUDENTS TO CROSS; THEN HAVING FACILITATED THEIR CROSSING, JOYFULLY COLLAPSE, ENCOURAGING THEM TO CREATE BRIDGES OF THEIR OWN.

- Nicos Kazantzakis

Whenever I read this quotation of Kazantzakis, I remember how much I depended upon my teachers and still depend on them for most of the knowledge I have and try to achieve. I remember my teachers who are so much supporting, inspiring and always encouraging us to move forward and give a power to dream and hope for the best. They are so much dedicated in what they do. Lucky me… I have living heroes in my life! They have been and they are wind beneath my wings!!

However, not everyone is lucky!!!

During this Deusi-Bhailo Program in Tihar, I met with Sak Bahadur Magar, to whom I adoringly call “dai” as he makes me feel like his younger sister. He is a teacher by profession and yet a student himself doing his master level in the same college of mine. I don’t know how but during the loud celebration of Tihar we end up talking about serious subject.

I had genuinely told him how tough it is to be a ‘Teacher’ and taking the responsibility of being teacher. I had told him at that time and I still think I am not ready for that role yet and I am not sure if I can take that responsibility of being Teacher to the coming generation even in the future.

In our culture, Guru (teacher) has been put above our own parents and worshipped as a god from its origin. They are the source of knowledge. They are heroes in their students’ eyes. During the growing up, a child spends more time with his teachers than with his own parents now days so it is for sure that they depend upon their teacher wholly. If there is conflict between the sayings of our own parents and teachers, we believe in our teachers than to our parents. This also shows how important role teachers play in child’s development and in shaping the child’s mind for life long. How the child turns in the future depends also on the teacher who taught him. So, if the teacher takes the responsibility by heart then students are in good hands but if it is taken lightly, one teacher can damage the whole future of students.

Today, the subject matter came again when Jayaram Lamsal, one of my classmates talked about his teacher in college (+2) who had said “If you (Jayaram) were good-enough then you would have taken Science instead of Humanities faculty.” The teacher used to teach English to both science and humanities faculty. This shows how humanities faculty (art and social science) and its students are looked down by our society, even the teacher who teaches the same subject. As well, my friend got discouraged by that teacher with that kind of insulting comment for following his dream and his interest.

Same way, my brother Ajay was told by his one teacher that he should change his subject to Commerce as he thought Ajay was incompetent to study Science. Of course my brother was shocked and hurt by that (I had seen it in his eyes while he told me about it). But, he took it as a challenge as I knew my brother would. Now, he is one of the toppers in his class and already working in projects as an Architect. Therefore, I am sure, no matter how painful the comment was for my friend Jayaram too; he will take it as a challenge rather than being frustrated and believing in what a ‘so-called teacher’ had said to him because no genuine teacher would have told such things to his own student.

At the end, all I want to say to those who are teachers just by name/status is that: If you can not encourage your students to do their best in their dreams; at least; please do not discourage them! If you are not able to use yourself as bridge and can not bring yourself to encourage your students to create bridges of their own, the least you can do for taking the responsibility of being teacher to them is not to discourage those students who want to create bridges by themselves. That will be the noble act of anyone for taking the responsibility of teacher while not actually being ‘Teacher’ as an innocent eye of learning hearts sees.

Never forget, teachers are wind beneath their students’ wings. This fact should not be forgotten by anyone when becoming teacher and while taking the responsibility of being Teacher.

Quiet Kathmandu!

2007-10-27T05:31:00.000+05:30

Of course, we had to celebrate this Dashain too with no water, no gas and no petrol as usual. But this time there was more to it. Something new got added. Good or bad? Hard to say anything yet but the festive season made Kathmandu very quiet!

So quiet that it felt like an ancient Kathmandu has revealed itself once again to make us see what a beautiful city it is…quiet, calm and far from the maddening crowd. With half of the population of the city gone to celebrate Dashain in their own countryside home it was hard to find any shops opened, had to walk miles to find another soul walking in the road and with very few vehicles running, no traffic, no horns and no pollution, Kathmandu felt like not-Kathmandu.

Usually our capital city Kathmandu means centralized economy, centralized population and centralized government of the country. It is the most crowded place, talk about pollution and you end up finding every kind of pollution discovered in the world and something more on it. There is shortage of everything in all seasons of the year. And yet we are so used to the life in it that it feels weird when it is quiet, calm and less polluted.

But who knows, quietness could have different faces!

At the time when I was being frightened with its quietness and the loneliness; and when every Nepali were busy with their celebration mood for the festival our government had the flashback. As history proves, from the takeover of Bhaktapur city by Prithvi Narayan Shah that in festive mood, Nepali can accept things that are not usually accepted in the usual times without a rage shown in streets. The idea was re-discovered six years ago by then King Gyanendra by declaring his son Paras as a Crown Prince during this same festive season. As expected, people did not protest it much as it would have been if it was in other usual times. So, the present government which is said to be formed out of the great people's movement in 2006 but in actual was born out of ruined womb of monarchism (more conformed after the Prime Minister's shown love towards King in very diplomatic words clearly declaring his views of Nepalese public as IDIOTS!) followed the same idea what Gyanendra had re-discovered and made full use of it.

The result - price hiking of petrol, lubricants and gas!

Of course this was done very quietly when Kathmandu is still very quiet.

My salutations to our Government! Though it can not come up with own ideas it very smartly follows other's ideas. All of my appreciations! But, as the good and loyal citizen I must say though the idea of using the quietness and celebration mood of the festival is highly appreciable, Quietness and Calmness is NOT always good. Every one of us has heard about the calmness felt in air before storm comes. If anybody does not agree with this saying; don't go too far for example, just look at the fate of Monarchism in our country.

It is still quiet here in Kathmandu so the finale result has not come yet. Wait till festive season is over and also let every youths come back to Kathmandu valley. Then the finale result of this quietness we are feeling right now will erupt, in what form it is hard to say.

But, mark my words, please! Finale result is yet to come and frighteningly it seems it is not going to be very good sight!!!

Congratulating Prashant!

2007-09-24T03:25:00.000+05:30

Since nearly one and half decades of my life in capital city, this is the second time I have been awakened by Kathmanduties from my deep sleep at this hour of the night. The first one was during the People’s revolution of 2006, when the whole Kathmanduties rallied whole night to protest against King Gyanendra. The second one is going on right now in the celebration of Prashant Tamang’s victory in singing competition on the program “Indian Idol”: a Sony TV reality show!

Prashant Tamang was declared Indian Idol – 3 on Sunday night after getting more votes than other finalist Amit Paul of Shillong from the total votes of 7 crores.

Now, it is exactly 2:30 in the morning and I am hearing slogans like “Prashant Jindabad!” (Long Live Prashant!). People are on the road shouting slogans, whistling, hooting and there are fireworks! The craze for New Indian Idol is going on even in Kathmandu, I can hardly imagine what must be going on in Darjeeling from where Prashant is. As I saw in televisions, Darjeeling’s people were on the street as well for celebration rally…the environment of there seemed ecstatic.

We can’t deny the fact that in this Indian Idol competition, Nepalese took more interest than other two previous competitions simply because Prashant Tamang; an Indian soldier, is from Darjeeling and is also from Nepali origin. Many people who are Indian but were originally from Nepal supported him and even did campaigns to support him and eventually made him Indian Idol through SMS voting.

Anyway, what I found the most remarkable and beautiful thing about this particular Indian Idol competition was friendship between these two finalists. Prashant Tamang and Amit Paul of Shillong never let the stress of the competition come between their friendships. I never felt any hint of neither jealousy nor competition between them which definitely stood them apart from previous Indian Idol finalists. We could feel the bond of friendship between these guys; the way they supported each other and accepted each others victory with smiles that is very hard to see in this era of competition.

Now, My CONGRATULATIONS to Prashant Tamang and wishes for his bright future. Also, all my praises for Amit Paul who is very talented, very good looking and with down to earth personality. I believe that even without the title of Indian Idol on his head, one day he will be one of the most famous singers of India with his potentiality and personality. Good luck to both of you!!!

Here, the celebration is still going! And I can assure you that Kathmanduties are desperately waiting for Prashant to hear him sing. But, they don’t have to wait for long as he is going to give numbers of concerts in valley with his other Indian Idol competitors from coming 29th of September. Everyone (especially Youths) from valley is eagerly looking forward to those days! The slogans that I can still hear outside my window conforms it all!

Blatant Terrorism!

2007-09-05T01:00:00.000+05:30

Last Sunday (September 2) terror struck Kathmandu valley people when series of bomb blasts hit the capital city killing two and injuring 22 people.

That day I was in home, having a quite day! Then, I heard about the news in television which shook me with terror. As a regular user of public vehicles, at the same time I felt myself lucky not to be in those places where those unfortunate events took place.

Though when I had heard the news for the first time I had felt fear, insecurity with lots of dilemma about the incidents. Felt sorry for those who became victims of this blatant terrorism! But, right now as I am writing this I feel the anger rising up in me. Anger: at those people who in the name of political revolutions are killing innocent people, at government for not being able to give enough security to public and then at myself for not being able to do anything about it.

I know there has been a foul play, one reason for saying this is because 3 different groups from Terai region have claimed the responsibility for bombings. Even a child will know it could have never been done by 3 different groups from the way attack was planned. Planner and doer is someone else and responsibility is taken by another person just like the “so-called” driver took responsibility of killing famous lyricist Pravin Gurung on road accident while actually the person who run-over Gurung was Paras, then Prince of Kingdom of Nepal.

At the moment I am feeling pity and anger at those people who did and took responsibilities of violence. In my opinion, they are coward people without dignity. They are shameless people who are happy to announce the murdering of innocent peoples. I am sure; they will feel the burden of curses and tears from the victims’ family and relatives before they go to more excruciating place than hell if there is any.

At the same time, I have to say what everyone is saying and seeing; the interim government is also not as effective as it should be. Just by this incident we know how the security system it is giving. Not being able to find clue about things shows its weakness. Moreover, looking at the slow pace of its investigations and government not giving it a serious thought and action on time makes me prepare for not being surprised if this government fails in its responsibilities like conducting Constitutional Assembly Poll on its deadline.

Looking at this all…looking at my country’s situation and observing the today’s world with my eyes, I am angry at myself! I know things that are unfair but I can do nothing about it the same way I could do nothing in these bombings to stop it or heal a wounded heart of victims family. I pity myself on my helplessness. Neither can I do something nor can I close my eyes not to see things that are unfair and unjust to my understandings!

Man of Difference!

2007-09-01T02:01:00.000+05:30

On August 1st we Nepalese felt proud of being Nepali, Mahabir Pun made us proud!

This year’s one of the winners of Ramon Magsaysay Award for Community Leadership was Mahabir Pun. He won the award for his innovative application of wireless computer technology in Nepal, bringing progress to the remote mountain, connecting Nangi village to the global village.

Not wanting to work under the American lifestyle he had returned home from USA a decade ago to live his life in his country. He tried to do different things like yak-rearing, chicken farm but didn’t succeed on it like he wanted. Finally he came with the idea of wireless computer technology in Nangi village and with the help of some foreign volunteers and his contacts he succeeded in fulfilling his dream of joining this remote village with world which also earned him the Magsaysay award of this year.

After winning this award, he became center of media. Most of the daily newspapers of Nepal covered this news with banner headlines, he was interviewed in most of the electronic media and there was talk about his struggle and success. Within days, he became the house-hold name in society. For his success he was felicitated in many different programs from different organizations and community. As he is from Magar community as well, the community took his success like its own and organized different programs to congratulate him.

In felicitation programs, I was surprised to see our Ramon Magsaysay winner. He was nothing like we would normally expect to see. It was felicitation program for him so I had thought he would appear in formal dress. But, he was there in his slippers and something like a jogging dress! I found him very simple, man of few words and shy…and obviously the person who does things without caring what others say. We can assume him as a man who prefers to do things with his own ideas, process and on his own time. He said,” I didn’t do anything new; I just used the thing differently that was already invented by someone else. Like Coca-Cola industry did by adding “something” in solution of sugar and water to make Coke. We don’t need to invent new thing…they are already discovered by on or two already so what we can do is use that discovered thing differently!”

When I go to any kinds of program, usually I find most of the speakers/leaders if asked to say few words on something…they will forget that “something” and go on babbling about “You know I did this and I did that…blah…blah…” There are so many people with only words, no action! And there was Pun who says “well, I am glad to win the prize but I am not excited. I always worked as if I had duties to carry out. I was not doing anything by expecting any award!” I remember one of his interview in local FM radio where he was accused of not appreciating enough for the award he got by some audience.

Over all, when I observed him, the way Nepali people and media jumped with the pride at his success…to me it seemed he was wondering What all this fuss was about! May be that was the reason for him saying, “well, the way media is saying things about me…coming back to Nepal leaving all the facilities and good life opportunities in USA as my greatness, I don’t think it as so. It was my self-interest to be back home, I preferred to be home than in America, I don’t see anything greatness in it!”

Yup, he is surely a man of difference!

Rakshya Bandhan

2007-08-29T01:57:00.000+05:30

Today is Rakshya Bandhan (Protection-Bond) day. Whole day whichever channel I switched to there were programs on the importance of this day. Indian TV-serials were continuously broadcasting about the celebration of festival by showing the affection between brothers and sisters. The festival that celebrates the bond between brothers and sisters…Every year, sister ties a kind of decorated thread on her brother’s hand to make sure that her brother is safe from every evil thing. This also gives responsibility to a brother to look after his sister, protect her from any danger that might come on her way. A day that is celebrated to mark the protecting relationship of siblings, is not of my Magar community so is not celebrated by us. I had not even heard of it till I had come to the capital of my country. But, we too have other festivals that celebrate the bond of siblings! Therefore, this day which is celebrated in the same theme of my culture’s festival “Maghe-Sankrati” brought back my memories with my brothers and I missed them!

I have always considered myself as a lucky person because I am blessed with three big brothers and they are the greatest brothers of the world! They have named me with their fevourite TV serials characters so I have more than five names. They baby-sat me and carried me on their back. Brushed my hair, even did my laundry. They were there to hold my hands when I was just learning to walk for the first time. They were there to teach me speak my first word then they were there to teach me how to write my first word. From the moment of my birth they have been there for me…holding my hands and giving their tremendous strength, encouragement and support for me to walk in my life with dignity, dream and direction!

Thank you brothers, for being there for me, always!

(P.S. Tholo da, Mahila da and Aju as you all are geographically far away from me right now I miss you all. It would have been great if we were all in one place and had verities of greatly cooked food by our angel bhauju with jokes and chit-chat that we used to have. Also on this day, I want to say how much I Love You and How lucky I feel to be born as your sister. I am proud of myself to be your sister. Thank you so much for being my brothers and loving me as you do!)

DANCING COMDRATES!

2007-06-15T23:37:00.000+05:30

Today is going to be one of my most memorable days in life. Three day long "Bhumya Puja" or "Bal Puja" (worshipping the Earth) of Rukum-Rolpa Magar community has started so 4 top-maoists leaders from Magar community- Badal, Suresh Ale Magar, Ananta and Pasang were there. It was my first time that I had meet Badal and had a small chat...well, it was something, a feeling of joy! It was great!! :)

But what took me by total surprise is when they started dancing "Bal Dance"! I couldn't believe it with my eyes. I was even more surprised when they were dancing as if it was their profession....so comfortable with dancing! Well may be it is because when I think of dancing I have cold sweat!

Okey, now enough of my chit-chat, let me introduce our dancers! On the topmost; he is our Member of Parliament Mr. Santosh Budha Magar. Then on right side there are Pasang, Journalist Ujir Magar and Magar Youth Leader Jhakendra Gharti and on left side there are Suresh Ale and Pasang . Then further down on right side there is our Badal...enjoying! and on left side Suresh Ale in dance-action! Now the last one is...when they got tired they took short break before they started dancing again! They are Badal, Ananta, Suresh Ale and Jhakendra. They look just Magar with "pheta" on their head, all "not so tall", all with that mongolian nose...short and small, small eyes and of course look at them...all look so healthy; makes us know that Goddess Demeter loves them!

My fevourites were Suresh Ale and Santosh Budha. They were just great!! Should not be missed if you want something memorable in your life. I can guarantee that!!!

Students' Future Under Cloud!

2007-05-27T11:43:00.001+05:30

In the same season of last year, I remember; a dozen of young girls in school dress were laughing and whispering to each-other at the backside of the Khulamanch where Maoist’s ‘Victory Mass Meeting’ was going on. On background we could hear one of the representatives of Maoists Women Association giving speech to the huge mass gathering. However, the girls didn’t seem noticing.

When I had approached them, they had looked at me with those innocent but curious eyes.

After talking to them I had come to know that they were there to participate in the mass meeting.

One of the girls, Ramila Maharjan studying in grade 9 in Shree Sharaswati Higher Secondary School, Thochu, Lalitpur had told that she was happy at the success of peace talk and was hopeful that there will be a peace in the country. She had also added that, with the new crack of dawn in the politics of the country there will be changes in the school policy as strikes and bandhs has ruined the life of students.

That was the hope of not only Ramila but of every students of this country when peace talk was success between Maoists and the contemporary government last year. However, that was the hope of last year! It was THEN, it is NOW! Now, when I look around I don’t know what Ramila and other whole students are thinking, wishing, hoping or praying for at this moment. I don’t know about them but, I am disappointed and frustrated! I regret for Hoping. Especially right now!

Today, there is a Kathmandu Valley bandh called by agitating ‘teachers and students’ unions - Educational Republic Forum (ERF) and All Nepal National Independent Students Union-Revolutionary (ANNISU-R). The strike is against the lathicharge on the protesting teachers and students outside the Ministry of Education in Kathmandu on Friday that left about 80 teachers seriously injured.

It has been more than a week that schools and higher secondary schools have been closed by agitating teachers and students who are protesting against the problems of private school charging hefty fees, and are also demanding in the rise of teachers’ salary with facilities. There was a call for dialogue from government but after Friday’s incident it is under cloud. If something is not done to solve the problem sooner then students’ life will be under thicker and darker cloud in coming days than it is now, it is for sure!

Wounds yet to Heal!

2007-05-25T05:44:00.000+05:30

When her name was called she had slowly stood up and with tears rolling down her face had told “My daughter should have been alive.” Her daughter was tortured to death by Army after a group rape in army detention camp (2004). She was just 14 years old and was studying in nine grades.

Last year, Devi Sunuwar, mother of victimized Maina Sunuwar had come in the program organized by the Amnesty International Nepal on the occasion to celebrate 6th Anniversary of the UN Resolution 1325 on Women, Peace and Security. When she had started her heart breaking story about loosing an innocent daughter, whole hall had fallen into silence and there was not a single face that didn't go through the same pain, fear and anger of Sunuwar. I was not the exceptional one in that group of people.

I experienced and saw the same expression on participants' face last week when watching a documentary "Dwanda Ra Balatkar: Shesh Smriti" (Conflict and Rape: A Relic) based on the stories of victimized women from both parties; government (army) and Maoists rebels in 12 years of Maoist movement in the country.

In these 12 years of civil war, we saw different faces of conflict and decadence of humanism. More than 13,000 people lost their life and almost everyone lost their loved ones and relatives. Pain of losing loved ones was one side of the war on the other side was the suffering that women and children had to go through. Like in every war of the human history, in this war too women were the most victimized compared to others. Some of them were group raped when they had gone to jungle for timber and grass, some were raped and physically tortured in the name of rebel or government spy and some were raped and kicked with boots infront of their family even infront of their husband. Whether they are Sarita, Kajal, Sita or Radha they all went through same pain- group rape and physical torture from both parties. Some lost their lives, some lost their reasoning power, and some regained their unconscious state after months of sickness and yet are afraid to speak about it due to the fear of being punished by involved parties and also outcast by the society. Devi Khadka, Maoist rebel (now she is a member of House of Representatives) was raped by army in detention center, through her story we came to know rape was even used as one of the war strategies. Numbers of women were abducted by Maoists too who were also sexually abused and used as sex-satisfying objects in their camps. Therefore, when I saw the documentary I strongly came to realize that this war is painted with tears and blood of innocent women.

New dawn in the country came with the success of Jana-Andolan I and II in 2006, peace-talk was a success and there was a hope of human rights being restored. People believed that persons responsible for tortures and murder will be punished and they will get justice. But, it seems our hopes will just remain hopes and nothing more as I read in the Kantipur daily on Monday (May 21) that about 35 police and army alleged of abuse and murders by Raimajhi Committee were just given punishment of 2 years without promotion by government.

If people alleged with murder, rape are out of the allegation this easily I will not be surprised at all when victimized people's families take states law in their hand to punish the guilty ones. We all know how "catharsis" works!

MY FIRST STEP!

2007-03-24T10:34:00.000+05:30

16th Friday'07, it was a day of excitement, a day of expectations and a day for search of lots of unanswered questions. For a girl that hardly dares to leave the lovingly-protected familiar surroundings - it was a challenge! But, as I am also a lover of challenges I accepted that challenge and kept that part of "ME" tightly locked in the house who always wants to be under the wings of family protection. My family supported my decision as I think they knew I was finally ready to see what life has kept for me. So, that day I prepared myself to take my first step towards my career as a Journalist.

Early morning, around 5:30 my brother Ajay dropped me at Ratnapark where a bus that would take me to Hetauda was waiting. As I was earlier than other participants I got chance to make myself comfortable in a nice seat. While I was sitting there I went through the program schedule of my visit. Program was to attend the Annual Meeting of Nepal Magar Students Association which was starting at 10 am of that day and was supposed to end next day afternoon so that we would be back to Kathmandu by Saturday night. I also had made my own plans about what I will be doing while I was attending the program. To carryout my plans I was fully prepared (really?); a camera to capture the event, a notebook and many pens and pencils to jot down about the program, quotations of speakers and decisions made by organizers; some papers and a book to read on the bus and finally my bag contained something which was not totally a journalistic equipments and that was my Magar dress! I smiled at my preparation and made my mind to make good use of everything that was in my bag.

When bus finally started moving around 7 o'clock I took a deep breath and wondered what experiences I will be gathering in Hetauda. They say journalists have a sense of knowing things before it really happens. Well, to tell you the truth, I couldn't think of anything, my head was totally blank. I had no idea what happens in the annual meetings of students as it was the first time I was participating in such programs. Moreover, it was my first visit to Hetauda which also worked as a banning agent to my assumptions and imaginations. So, what was happening next was a total mystery for me. This heightened the feeling of adventure in me and at the same time made me think if I have enough qualities to be a good journalist. You must be wondering why I am questioning myself on my chosen career. Don't worry, when you finish reading this article you will know why.

It was a big bus and was carrying more than 100 Magar students including me, of course! When I looked around in the seats of a bus I saw some familiar faces in the crowd of total strangers. There were also some girls who were as strangers to me as others were. Though they were total strangers I felt as if I knew them, as if they were close relatives. Here, I need to say one thing, I am not a racist and I can't know what other will think when I say I definitely feel comfortable to be around my community rather than in another community just the way I feel unthreatened when I am with my family from other people. I will never take loving my family more than my neighbor as being racist or indifferent to my neighbor. I take it as a human nature, to want to be in a place where you think you belong. I also take it as a kind of existential crisis. Everyone is in search of owns identity and it is easier to find that in the community which is familiar to you. Wanting to belong somewhere is a social nature of human. And it is undoubtedly easier for the person to have a feeling of belonging in the community which brought him/her up. So, not feeling them as strangers though I had never met them before was not me being racist instead it was a feeling of commonness as we share more or less similar kind of cultural values. So, I don't feel guilty about my feelings of belonging there. I have to respect myself to respect others. Same way, to respect the world I have to respect my country and to respect my country I have to respect my society and my community. If only I can love myself I will be able to love others. And I believe, loving oneself more is not being selfish; we just have to keep in mind that when loving oneself more it doesn’t make us hate others and indifferent to others existence…now, where was I? Ohh…I was in bus introducing myself with other Magar students. After introduction with others, Mahesh dai to whom I have known for about 2 years, who is a singer as well as a poet and song-writer came to sit next to me. He was also going as a journalist/photographer to Hetauda. We updated about ourselves and talked about everything. When we had started talking I had thought we would not be able to discuss lots of things and get chance to ask some of my important questions about the meeting. But, when I had finished my every queries I was surprised to find out after 2 hours of leaving Ratnapark we had not even passed the Thankot. While talking I had not even realized we were in traffic jam! I can't believe myself how I can want and believe to be a future good journalist when I forget to see what's happening around.

As it was also a Shivaratri we were stopped from place to place with rope on road by children and youth to ask for money; a kind of charity. As I recall it, we were at least stopped in 20 places by them which was the reason for us to reach Hetauda around 3 pm. As we were students we didn't give any money to any groups instead I noticed some guys teasing the girls who were stopping us for donation. In the bus I also happen to enjoy the live Dohori competition between girls and boys. They had good voice and their theme of the song was very funny for me as they were flirting with each other through song. It was lots of enjoyment. However, I didn't stay awake enough to enjoy it fully. When bus had started I had felt my stomach not in so jolly mood which of course effected my head and I felt sick as soon as bus started to move in full speed. So, to stop from the churning headache I closed my eyes and tried to sleep which I eventually did. It helped me from stopping to throw-up. When I woke up fully, I was in Hetauda, still feeling sleepy. This sleepiness and sickness habit of me made me miss beautiful sceneries on the way which is another habit I would love to kick out of me!

After everyone got out of bus we prepared for rally and within some time we were marching towards our destiny…the stage where our program was going on. When we entered the gate everyone turned their heads towards us and welcomed us with applause. I smiled and bowed my head before rushing to take pictures of speakers in the program. With other journalists and photographers; I was there standing infront of the people and trying to get the good picture of everyone and everything that I felt would give some news sense. I was clicking pictures when Mahesh dai came to me and said he had not had lunch that day which made me feel very hungry myself as I realized I also had had nothing. So, around 5 o’clock we went outside and had some shale-roti and tea. That was our breakfast, lunch and snacks of that day! When we returned to the program from tea-house it was already dark and program was coming to end. I clicked some pictures and we were led to OM CHALACHITRA GHAR by volunteers where continuation of program was to take place.

Around 7 o’clock, the entertainment program started. Magar dances were performed by the participants and organizers along with songs, jokes and music. It was very enjoyable! After we were fed by fun we were offered food which definitely tasted real good though rice was half-cooked, dal was too salty and curry was too little. After dinner at 12 o’clock our program “Banda-Shatra” started. Central Committee Members along with President Bhojbikram Budha Magar sat on the stage while representatives and participants sat in chair with eyes half closed and yawning at least two times in every five minutes. We; photographers and journalists stood between stage and audience-chair to click pictures of both side easily. There were specially four people to click pictures :- Mahesh dai, Chhabi dai, Padam dai and me. We made plans to check everyone in every corner to click pictures of those who slept most funnily. It was the game to keep ourselves awake. We would click pictures and show each-other and have a great laugh between ourselves. The plan worked well. Our President was in the center of the stage and after 5 minutes of the program had started I noticed something which made me smile. He was dozing and if nothing will be done by nobody I was sure he would find himself flat on floor with his face down. As I saw no one was ready to do anything I went for his rescue. I took my weapon with me: my camera and with sign language told to the person sitting next to him to push him a little so that I could take picture of him. The person understood and did as I had asked so when our President opened his eyes, right at that time my camera flashed…Click! Later when I saw the picture, our president was as confused as a newly baby is when it suddenly sees light for the first time. My group had good laugh and it helped us to stay awake for a minute longer.

The night was so cold, at first taking a nap in the chair was impossible for me. But, around 3:30 in morning when annual report from Central Committee was being presented my leg sent me a secret signal that it can stand no longer so I went to sit next to Mahesh dai who was taking rest for his eyes as well as his legs and camera. After 5 minutes of rest my eyes must have got jealous of my legs as they would not open when I tried to. It was impossible for me to read the report and next thing I realized was my ear also started to send me the sound as if it was from far-far away while the big volume-box was just in front of me. Everything felt useless at that moment so I gave myself to the Goddess of sleep with a big yawn. When I woke up I looked at my watch and found it was already quarter to 4. Stretching myself in chair I looked at the places where my friends were standing to click pictures before I took a nap. I didn’t see them so I turned my head here and there and gave a laugh when I saw them all asleep in chairs next to mine. They were sleeping in such a pathetic and laughable style that I was about to take their pictures but they awoke before I could succeed at my plan. Wide awake we got ready for our job again till the program ended at 7 am. I came out of the cinema hall to wash my face and brush my teeth. As I had no toothpaste I went to buy one and brushed in the water from tank along with some other participants. Still I did not feel fresh…I was drowsy, tired and about to collapse. At this time I understood the meaning of my teachers sentence “Journalist’s life is a life of a dog! 24 hours job and not a career for the house-dolls!” Well said! But hey, I don’t want to be a house-doll and I am not going to be the one!!

As we had finished our program earlier than expected we hit the road around 9 am for Kathmandu after we had our breakfast. Everyone slept in the bus as soon as they were in seat, of course excluding the driver, helper and ME! I really wanted to sleep but due to the girls problem (monthly periods) my stomach and back started paining so hard that I could not breath well. That made me stand mostly the half way home. It was painful and I felt nature has really done injustice to women. But what to do? It is a real problem but then life will lose its value if there is no struggle, no pain and no obstacles in the way. And we need to be prepared to face anything as my brothers tell me. From this time I am going to be ready, prepared for these things so that they won’t make me weak to go for my destiny, my dream and my aim.

So, this was my first visit to Hetauda and to that kind of program. It was one of the great experience of my life. When I came back from the Hetauda I felt I knew more about myself. I got lots of ideas about how my life will be in future. And most of all, I met many people from around the country, listened to their ideas, their opinion, their perspectives of looking at the things and shared mine too. What can I ask for more when I got something that is going to shape my future. These experiences and information have given me a treasure-box where I am going to add more of my coming days experiences to make it full so that I can be what I am planning to be in coming days by utilizing these treasures. I know I don’t have enough qualities of a good journalist right now but this kind of experiences are going to be my base, my root which will give me enough strength in the future to be what I have always dreamed of - a good journalist.

Thanks to those who are helping me to realize my dream, my destiny and are always by my side to support me in every step that I have been taking since I was born!!

WATER: TEARS OF US!

2007-03-22T14:03:00.000+05:30

I have to write this. I have to…else there is the chance that I might get mad or even die. There is a heaviness in my whole body specially in my heart and it is tormenting my mind. It seems as if my whole being is questioned. I don't know if I can think properly and live normally when the whole world of mine has turned upside down.

Yesterday, was a day I cried. Cried…you will think women usually CRY! No, not me including many women you have not met yet. We know our tears. It is precious to us! It doesn't only wash our pain in this world which you have so kindly made ONLY Yours, it also makes us strong to live and struggle for life and death.

Drops by drops my tears fell from my eyes. And I let them fall. That was my tribute to those who changed the traditional social evils for us but had to live the life of hell themselves. I saluted their bravery, bowed my head for their determination…their vision and their search for Truth.

I knew it was just a movie. A movie that dealt with problems of widow-system in India during early 19th century. Still, from the starting of the movie I totally forgot it was just a movie. I could not hold myself in one piece. I felt I was the one suffering in that screen. It hit me right in my heart.

The year is 1938. It starts with Chuiya; a young girl of about seven years old who suddenly finds herself a widow. She even doesn't remember she was married and she had a husband, still her hair is shaved and she is given the white clothes to put on. And, as the society demands she is sent to a widow house where she dreams of returning home one day as she truly believes her Ma will come to take her from there. But, then with time she realizes her dream was an illusion. She becomes an old lady in her childhood. She looses her childishness that had brought little bit of colour in the house and becomes used to with the color of black and white. In the house she mainly becomes close to other two widows : a young woman Kalyani (Lisa Ray) and middle aged woman Kaushalyadevi (Sheema). Both of them also don't remember who their husbands were as when they became widow they were of same age as Chuiya. Kalyani is a beautiful woman and she is used as a money maker by house's main widow (Moti-Budhi as Chuiya calls her) by sending her to sleep with high-class people of that place. She is allowed to put long hair and in different room far from other widows. Her revolt starts unknowingly when she keeps a dog without others knowledge. This revolt of hers leads to the decision of her re-marriage with a young man Narayan (John Abraham), student of Law who is though from higher family believes in equality and re-structuring of society. He is one of the follower of Gandhi who fought to bring the changes in the condition of widows as well. But, she is punished for her decision, her hair is chopped and she is locked in the room by the "Moti-budhi" and convinces others that sin will be upon them if Kalyani re-marries.

Devastated with grieve and helplessness of Kalyani, Chuiya kills the Mitthu; a parrot of "Moti-Budhi" while Kaushalyadevi who spends her life in search of salvation (god) by listening to Priest preaching Veda asks priest if widows could re-marry. He says Veda gives widows three options: to go Sati on her husband's pyre, spent whole life as a punishment in search of salvation by ignoring every human desires of happiness and pleasure or to marry with the younger brother of her previous husband. But, he also adds that recently the nation had passed one law that supported widow marriage. This gives her strength to free Kalyani to go to marry Narayan. Kalyani runs to meet Narayan and he takes her to his home to get married. Suddenly, on their half way to his home after knowing the name of his father Kalyani decides against her decision of marriage with Narayan. Later Narayan knows his idle father's true face; the face of hypocrisy; the face of women exploiter.

Kalyani returns to the widow house but she is not allowed to enter by the Moti-budhi. With no where to go she decides to drown herself to death. Her death brings chaos in the life of Chuiya and Kaushalyadevi. Chuiya wants to go home again while Kaushalya tries to find the truth of life. At this time, the incident of Chuiya being sent to the house of high class person as Kalyani was sent to by Moti-budhi changes everything. When Kaushalya finds Chuiya physically abused (raped) she looks after the sick Chuiya. At the same time she hears Gandhi was in their town so carrying Chuiya she goes there to see him. Gandhi before leaving the place by train says, "Brothers and Sisters, before I used to believe God was Truth but now I have come to realize Truth is the God!". Kaushalya runs after train and gives Chuiya to Narayan telling him to give her to Gandhi. She stands in rail-track looking at train then at the place where she came from. This way there is a beginning of their new life; Chuiya is able to leave the society which is so rooted in the mud that would have engulfed her if she had not left while Kaushalya is sure to defy the exploitation done upon widows as she knows what is the Truth of life. This is their new beginning…

The movie is fantastic. Thanks to Deepa Mehta who has been able to show the society of that time through the eyes of three women of different generation. She has given birth to three most amazing women of that time who are within us too.

Apart from the story, cast and the presentation what I appreciate most is the use of symbols in the movie. Everything is presented symbolizing something and yet within this also there is simplicity to understand what it really wants to give. The title of the movie; "WATER" is itself very symbolic. Water…must have been made from the tears of those women who were forced to detach themselves from society, exploited by the higher class people and kept away from their desires. It also could mean the Society where women like Kalyani are drowned to death and like Chuiya will have to struggle to bloom like a lotus flower does in the muddy water.

At last I wonder why Indian Hindu fundamentalist vandalized the filming set of the Oscar nominated movie. People might think it is the movie condemning the Hindu religion. But, I didn't find such thing in the movie. It has certainly condemned the society but not religion. And even if it is to condemn the religion there was that kind of trend during that time, its written in the history so when someone tries to show that part of society why to get so aggressive and violent. Moreover, there is balance in the movie, it is not condemning the religion but to those people who have misread and followed it according to their vested interest in the name of religion. Narayan stands for the person who has understood the true religion. He, playing flute (murali) shows his love towards his religion (Krishna). He and the Priest who reads Veda to widows are standing as an idol Hindu people. They have understood and followed their religion in right way. So, more than saying it against the religion we should say that this movie is against the people who forced the society to become the vase to fulfill their vested interest in the name of religion. It is against the so-called high class, intellectual people who mislead the society.

This movie gave me insight that I was unable to achieve before. My life will never be same from this day. WATER has changed something inside me…it has awakened me for good!

Celebrating my 75th Birthday!

2007-03-14T20:52:00.000+05:30

Tomorrow I am going to celebrate my 75th birthday!

I know, my husband is going to celebrate it exactly the way he has been celebrating it every year for 10 years.

Early morning, he will wake up and whisper me a "birthday song" that he wrote it for me when we had celebrated my birthday together for the first time. With a bright smile of his he will then look up at my photo that's hanging on the wall in front of him. With tears in his eyes he will come near and give a kiss to it. Touching his heart then he will go to the park that we had painted with our laughs and shaded with our tears. In that park, there is the old broken wooden bench where we sat every time we visited the park and created our most intimate memories. He will sit on that bench, carefully put a red rose on the right side of bench where I always sat. He will sit there whole day remembering all those vivid memories that made our life so great. During day if he finds some good listener, he will tell the person our simple love story which was great in itself from first meeting to the last goodbye.

Exactly 55 years back I had met him when I was participating in a special program. Umm…I don't know what was the program about but it was a special program. I remember it because I met the most special person of my life there – my life partner- with whom I was to spent my coming 40 golden years.

That day I was sitting with my friends; and attending the program had never been that boring in life. I was about to doze again ignoring my friends' annoyed murmurs about my sleepy-habit when I heard an opening of the door that made my head turn lazily towards it. There…there…my poor sleepyhead! From that moment it hardly got chance to sleep without the dreams of him in it. Because when my eyes set upon him I couldn't stop myself from staring. Like a fool I stared and stared with my mouths open at what I was seeing. I thought he was an apparition of a Cupid himself.

He must have felt something as he slowly turned and looked straight in my eyes. Oh boy! It shook my whole body with awe. I could do nothing, neither stop staring nor give my always ready dazzling-smile nor turn my head towards anything. Oh…yeah…wait, I remember one thing I did…I stopped breathing! What kind of magic or energy was it I have not found answer to it till today. But, I am sure it was a magic. What else could it be because what he could do to me has never been able to do by anybody. He just hold me right there with his eyes and I could do nothing…I mean Nothing! Not even blink my eyes. I felt butterflies in my stomach and so so helpless at my stupid behaviors. With the helpless feeling and frustrated at myself I was trying to come to my terms and do something when the most sweetest thing happened that was better than any chocolates of the whole world I had ever tasted in life – He Smiled! – that was how I fell head over heels in love with him.

Now, as I see him sleeping there the feeling that I feel in my heart is as it was at the first meeting, if not more. He still makes me breathless and restless. Even when I think of him butterflies are always there in my stomach. As I recall our life, from boyfriend and girlfriends we became husband and wife then parents and then grandparents. Everything changed, our responsibilities changed, our status changed, our life changed but what didn't change with changing time and changing circumstances is our love; love that brought power to cross every boundaries, every barriers.

It has been nearly 10 years since we said our last goodbye to each-other. He is in the world of life and I am in the world of death. But, nothing has changed between us. I still feel that magic, that energy of his which gives life to me and I know it is the same with him. He knows I am always around him to support and to love him the way he does to me.

Anyway, tomorrow is my birthday and I am celebrating it with him by sitting next to him on our bench listening him say his part of our-story. Call it a woman nature but I am worried a little as I am going to be 75 years old tomorrow I wonder if I have grown too old. May be he thinks I have grown old and not so beautiful anymore. I am going to ask him the question. If he says I am old and not beautiful then he better watch his mouth. He is gonna regret saying that and might as well have to spent days without me talking to him!!

Knocking on Heaven's Door!

2007-03-07T11:29:00.000+05:30

Let me tell you a story. A story about a girl. Girl that always wanted to die. Die…why? She herself didn't know the answer. But one thing was for sure there was a time when she would have been shocked if she had thought about killing herself.

When I had met her for the first time she had given me a bright smile with her introduction. Within minutes I had felt I knew her for years. She made me feel as comfortable as I am with myself. I thought I could talk about anything with her, share every dreams, every secrets, every smile and tears. That day she had walked into my heart and had made it her forever.

It seemed to me that she loved everything and almost everyone. Never complained about her life that was very simple when others observed. And, there was something about her that made her special. Special in a way that everyone loved her and appreciated her. Her sweet and all the time ready smile was something worth waiting for her arrival. That beautiful smile of hers was must for lots of people to have a beautiful day.

I had thought she must have never been touched by a wind that carries pain and tears as she was always jolly and always used to find something funny in everything to laugh about. But, if a person laugh, jokes and smiles all the time; it really doesn't mean that the person is happy and doesn't have any problems in life. I knew about it better on that day when I was roaming round SwayembhuNath. I was sitting on a little stone and trying to think about something good when I suddenly saw a familiar figure squatting near a tree which was near enough for me to see what was going on. I smiled when I realized it was her. But, I was surprised to find her so vulnerable. She seemed she was about to collapse. Her whole body seemed to be burning in pain. From where I sat I could see her tears rolling down her face. I could feel her pain right in my heart. I couldn't go to her and console or ask her anything because something made me see that she wanted to be by herself. Must have been her body language. She let those precious tears fall from her eyes for about a hour. Then she stood up, touched a tree with her left hand and said something to it or was it for someone else, God, who knows. She stood there for long time till her tears stopped and dried. And then she left. I just sat there staring at the tree where she had stood there and cried for long time. It felt like though she had left her pain was still there. My heart became heavy and my sight blurred with tears so I left the place as soon as possible without looking back.

Next day she didn't come to college. I had prepared myself to make her feel good and may be help in someway to lessen her pain. So, I waited for another day, another day and another day but she never came.

About a month later, I heard from friends that she was sick, nothing serious, no wounds, no disease, just sick then sometimes later I heard she had died. Died… how? Doctors never knew. They just knew she had nothing wrong with her body but still she died.
I know why…she was in pain, pain of loosing someone she loved more than anything in her life. I had seen it in her eyes. That pain could kill anyone. However, what she lost I also don't know…could be her love or could be her identity, could be anything!

Born in Wild!

2007-03-07T11:24:00.000+05:30

I have always felt that I was born in wild. Wild where I grew up, where I bloomed. I loved the way air smelled there, loved being covered with dry leaves. A wild flower, a wild life!

But, one day in the world of well wishers, one of the well-wishers' saw me and thought I was too beautiful to be in wild. He must have thought who would protect me from rain, sunny days, birds or animals. So with every care of the world, he removed me from my ground. He took special care that none of my roots were damaged. I appreciated it!

He brought me to his world; planted me on his beautiful garden where lots of other flowers made of plastics were blooming. It was safe there. I was totally protected from almost everything. Temperature was just perfect for me, neither too cold nor too hot. Fences were around me so there was no fear of animals stamping me under their feet, no fear of heavy rain nor a flood. Everything was there. Soil under me were made nurtures for me. Never had to worry about water, nor food. Everything was provided in certain periods of time. I was fed!

He used to come to see me from time to time. Always looked at me with admiring eyes. It seemed as if I was the most precious thing in the world. I always enjoyed it. It was flattering! Later on he even brought his lots of friends to show me to them. Everyone looked awestruck by the bluish red color of my petals. They couldn't help themselves from touching me and smelling me. It felt good to have so many people interested on me so much. I smiled at them!

However, I always have a great wish to return to my home. I miss the smell of air, miss the damp sweet smelling soil, miss the sound of dry leaves falling around me, miss the music of rain which was always great to dance in. This world of love and protection is not my world. I love the attention, care given by him but this is not my world. I have always felt I don't belong here. Not that I have not tried to adjust in this world but my colors of petals, my whole being is changing, it is fading away… I am about to be just like others…plastic! So, I long for my wild where I was what I was. I didn't had to turn into something else to make someone happy.

Tomorrow, I am moving out of here!

BACK TO MY VILLAGE!

2007-02-19T21:01:00.000+05:30

Finally after 9 years, my “not being able to go back to my own birthplace” record was broken. Can you express how you feel inside your heart when suddenly what you have been dreaming for years comes to your lap and smiles at you???? No…no…no… words can never be able to explain those heartbeats which beat faster and slower at the same time and also those butterflies you feel inside your stomach… That morning (28th October,05) I was feeling just like that. Racing of my heart could have been due to the excitement of visiting my village again; my birthplace where I spent some of my childhood days. But butterflies in my stomach were not certainly from excitements of seeing my village and relatives again. I am pretty sure of that b’coz it hadn’t started until I had seen the plane that was carrying me. Okey, it may not be a big problem for some people but for me it was like “Catch 22”. First of all, it was my first flight in a twin-otter plane, in fact it was my first flight in any plane! Secondly when I saw the plane it looked like it was going to collapse just infront of my eyes if I happen to touch it with my forefinger; its wings had been black like burned from something I have no idea of and it looked too old to carry any people inside it. Looking at it made me remember all the worst crashes that happened recently in all over the world and I could bet all of those planes must have been 100 times better than this! If I could have any other options I would have run after those options leaving everything behind but what to do I had to be a lamb and take my seat inside it. I guess you remember God very much when you feel you are in a real trouble. That was what I was doing when plane started its job. I was there sitting with my eyes shut and praying “PLZZZZZZZZ God don’t let this plane crash Else I’ll never worship you!” Thanks to my guts for warning God that I was safely landed in my district’s airport; God must have been afraid of me! Now seriously, I had never thought that I would be able to fly with clouds in my life but I did and it was a great experience. Along with this experience I realized how beautiful my country is and how it is formed; its topography. Everywhere there was greenery, smiling hills, laughing mountains, beautiful gorges and not even a single noticeable plain! Amazing!!

Hey..Hey you must be thinking that I have reached the home already. I am sorry but it’s a wrong guess. I have to walk on foot for 2 days from my district’s airport to reach my home. So, you can imagine how hard it could have been for me to walk on those beautiful hills after so long time. And we hardly get chance to walk on plain/straight road; its mostly either up-hill or down hill and believe or not there were so many landslides on the way and road was no where to be seen so we had to crawl like a baby with both legs and both hands. I even thought I was a goat; a very brave goat who is good enough to graze in landslides! Hehehe road is not the only problem, motels are hard to find too. By luck we found one and when I had the food of that motel I didn’t even take two spoons of it. That was not the end of the problem; real problem started when I couldn’t sleep due to insects bite…ohh what a horrible night! In morning I knew from my father that it was the best motel of that area. Yeah…I know it’s shocking! You know I never thought that My God had raised much more big leg to hit on my stomach than those things; I knew it next day. What happened is the most embarrassing thing in my life but I can make fun of it too. I was walking so well in the morning that I thought I was much more tough than I had thought to be. I was talking to my ‘on the way friends’, enjoying the beauty of nature and sunrise. But in noon, my 9 years of city life, hard walk of previous day, two spoons of dinner and sleepless night paid me with full price and even with some tips. There, I was sweating a cold sweat; even my knees were sweating! I had taken a rest after climbing up-hill then when I was about to stand on my foot I knew that I was not going to take 10 paces before I collapse. And BOOM I was right! I even didn’t make to 5 steps. I told I’ll take some more rest so I was there standing with a support of small rock then guess what? I slept there nearly for 15 minutes and when I opened my eyes it was a torture. Then came the most embarrassing thing…my father knew I’ll never be able to walk on my own to home so he hired a man to carry me home I never felt more embarrassed in my whole life. But my trouble of walking with swollen leg was finished and the trouble passed to a man who was carrying me (I am a real plump!). Hey…hey but I didn’t loose all of my dignity due to this b’coz I walked whenever plain and downhill road came!

When I reached home so many people had gathered in my house that it was like celebrating some kind of festival. And very awkward thing is that everyone was staring at me. I felt totally out of place for some time. They were staring at me like as if I was an alien. And I felt the same. Anyway everything was special there. I can never be able to write all the interesting things I did in one whole month. If I give in detail then next day you will be visiting eye hospital and your computer will have to visit or invite a mechanic. But I’ll not fail to say some of the interesting things that may make you think and laugh or even wonder! So what we are waiting for lets start…PLZ WAIT FOR SOMETIME…I AM DOWNLOADING …

Before going to my village I had thought that my village must have changed a lot but it really took me by surprise when I saw actually nothing much has changed in these years. The houses, Jungles, Ghatta (water mills used to grain flour), even trees look as they were before; not grown much! One thing that has changed is people have changed a lot when talking about physical appearances b’coz I didn’t recognize at least 90% of them. Other things are as before. There are no toilets; forget about bathrooms! I was really disappointed when I found “Back to Nature” sign still pasted in peoples head. Luckily, there is only one house which has toilet facility and that’s ours. Ohhh…what a relief! And that was the reason behind me for not staying in my relatives’ houses for long or for night. It’s a real problem!

Next thing is about my village school. It is called “Shree Prathamik Vidhyalaya” (Primary School) and when I looked at it my heart ached. Its condition was horrible. There were no tables and chairs in some of the classrooms and blackboards were in a horrible condition. There were no doors; lets forget about windows. Its roof was covered by steel tin and I was told that in every winter season it’s blown away by wind. And believe or not there are more than 200 students and only 4 teachers are assigned there and on the day of my visit there was only one teacher present. One of them had gone to neighbor village “Kingsi” as Maoists had called him to help them in making some of their documents. Other two had gone to their home some time before and had not returned since. So from this you know how terrible is the situation of our schools in rural areas of Nepal. I was told by the students of another school that in their school they get only about 2 months to study in whole year. I was shocked!

The Maoist Movement has disturbed the daily life of people. They don’t walk freely as they used to; there is fear in their eyes and heart. They are not drop-dead frighten of the Maoists as they used to when the movement had started but there is still fear. However, most of them (except Maoists) don’t believe that movement is going to bring any good in their life. They say that those people who are thieves, murderers, using force upon innocent people to fulfill their needs etc..etc can never be able to get own government or changes. To bring some changes they need support from people but they do the acts which makes people to hate them.’ I heard complains about them all the time. Due to this movement many civil people have lost their life—no crime but have paid with their life, innocence people are being killed by both side (government side too) and there is no one to talk on their behalf. Human Right activists are confined only in urban areas while real incidents take place in rural areas. Many of them don’t know about human rights and they don’t expect anything from them because they know nothing is going to happen. Moreover which one of so called human right activists is ready to go in those rural areas and spent their days instead of being focus of the camera in urban areas for speaking in what they call human right. Not only their life is in danger in a sense of loosing it but it is hard to live there because all the development activities are in dormant state. Schools are most of the time-closed b’coz sometimes teachers and some times students are abducted. All the government offices are closed as respective officers don’t go to rural areas because of the fear of Maoist abduction and have to pay certain amount of money from their salary they have demanded else their life can be in danger. People have to give food or anything they want, have to go wherever they want them to go to join in the programs they’ve organized (sometimes it can take days) else they are fined. When I was in village they had asked our village people to collect some snacks and garlands from each house as they had organized the Farewell Program for their militia. So, I went along with many people to our neighbor village by taking snacks and garlands. Found out that the program was the next day so I just went to see the school where Maoists were staying for some weeks (school was being used by Maoists army for their shelter!), some of them were playing volleyball, and I was told that others were taking classes on the topic “Why Maoists Revolution” I got the suggestion I should join them . I got chance to talk with one of the head of the Maoist army and with a Maoist Journalist. Because they suspect new peoples to be CID or government spy so they don’t talk openly however when talking he (Army) accused me of being selfish. He told how indifferent we (urban areas people mainly students) are of the situation of the country and we are so selfish that we just think about how to get a degree and earn the living , care nothing about what is happening in the country and how other people are living in other areas. He told that others pain don’t touch us and we just think about how to live our life in luxury. It was too much for me so I also accused him of being selfish ! Just kidding!!! I told him that we are trying to be in a stable position before doing something for others; “first of all you need to be standing yourself before you give your hand to help others stand” and that’s not all, not raising weapons against government doesn’t mean that we are indifferent to our social problems. Living in urban areas doesn’t mean that we are not aware about what’s going on in our surrounding. Then to settle my anger I said that he was selfish enough to carry gun while I am selfish enough to carry pen. Then we talked for 2 hours on their ways of life, why joined the Maoist army; later knew that police forced them to join b’coz police tortured them, burned their houses, raped their sisters and mothers, killed some of their relatives. Then came journalist with whom I had good talk. He told about the formation of “Prachanda-Path”, told it was the synthesis of Marx to Che-Guavara’s theory. When asked while mixing all the theories of Marx, Lenin, Mao and so on isn’t there any chances of formation of stinging eschew which doesn’t have any taste of any vegetables he told that there won’t be coz they have got only positive aspects of those theories and they have looked at it that they fit and co-ordinate/help each-other to survive. While talking about why abduction of students and teachers he told that it was very necessary to make them understand why and for what reasons they are doing all this. He even complained that while telling them in their houses they don’t take those things in their mind. Whatever they have told in ten years and not understood by them is understood by them in ten days when they abduct them. Surprising! He told they believe in Materialistic dialectism and so they are running a cultural revolution. He told it was very important as most of the superstitious thinking are due to religious and cultural believes. We discussed on this for hours but I wasn’t convinced neither he was on my opinions about cultural values for identity. Next time in another village (where many Maoist army’s were staying for some weeks before they go to another village) I got chance to meet the commissar (I think! Can be assistant of commissar!) of the Maoist army who was a woman. I had told them I wanted to meet their head they told she was studying. So I went to shop to bye some bangles for my nephews. While I was buying one of the M.army came with gun on her hand ready to be fired. She came to me asked me to come outside when I went outside with her she was furious and asked why I wanted to meet their head and why I came without meeting her. I told her my reasons and she said they had thought I was some kind of CID so they had come after me to search…I gave her my brilliant smile and a nod of understanding but I heard my heart throbbing against my ribs doing bip…bip…boom…boom… Anyway after that I went to meet her and talked about the condition of women in their army and other stuffs. Interesting thing is that when I asked her why she made that village people to go and make toilets in another village (which takes days on foot, waste of time; and so much to walk- hard for people) instead of making them to do in their own village. She laughed and told that they were telling people to clean their surrounding, put surrounding healthy, make toilets but they never listened to them so as punishment they took villagers to another village for 15 days to make toilets in those villages. “If they don’t make their village and houses clean why not to make them clean others then may be they will realize they need to put their houses and surroundings clean.” It was not too bad idea but people hate them for making them do that. There are not only bad impact on people due to this movement. There is tremendous change in the behaviors of the people in aspect of caste. Before there was a big problem due to differences in so called high caste and low caste. Now I saw changes, people are not so narrow minded about caste as before, it’s not totally demolished but changes are taking place. So called high caste people didn’t used to eat by sitting together with low caste but now they really don’t care much. They are somehow okey with it. They have started drinking “Raksi” (local alcohol) from low caste people, however they haven’t started eating dinner or lunch yet but I think that day is not so far when they will start and nothing will come between them to even share one kitchen. Another thing is that they have somehow controlled in too much consumption of alcohol. They allow to drink a little but don’t allow to drink much to get drunk. They have appointed representatives in different sectors (health, cleaning, looking at social problems etc.) in a village and they organize meetings time to time. There if anyone does something naughty or wrong things then they take the person with them for months as a punishment. That’s not too bad for a change I think! But many innocent people are killed when they attack on army as they make villagers to carry dead bodies and wounded army’s from the war place to safer place. Another thing that I didn’t like is that they don’t allow villagers to celebrate Dashain and Tihar and some of other festivals because of that Dashain and Tihar were not like it used to be. There were no traditional dances and singing so it was not as much fun but we did celebrate it. From this I don’t know if I should judge them and their work but when I met them I realized they are after something they believe in else why to spend days of precious life in jungles, wars instead of living with family and sleeping in own house instead of caves.

Do you believe in supernatural things? Well before visiting my village I didn’t really used to believe but now I am confused… my cousin brother was sick with his swollen right hand and lots of body pain when I had met him. I told him to visit hospital and go for through chek-up in district hospital (takes about one day walk! Yep there are no hospital facility near by) but he said it was due to family deity. He told me about his weird dream, not actually a dream. He was just taking a nap (half asleep) when suddenly an old man with white hair appears from nowhere and hardly slaps him on cheek and tells that “Why did you had buff?” and twist his right hand. Suddenly he wakes up with a pain in his hand and within a second the hand is swollen and he gets terrible pain in his body. Over here I need to tell you something weirder. In my family (I mean including my cousins, blood related family) we have family deity who looks after us; it is believed! And you know they show in certain area that they exist. Its hard to believe who live in materialistic world I know but men of my family can not have buff meat after they are married. I am not kidding! They get sick if they eat buff. They can eat buff while they are bachelors but after marriage they are not allowed. If they happen to eat by chance they loose hearing power, loose sound; are not able to talk, get blind etc… and the only way to get out of those punishment is to call upon shamans (we call Jhakri) and let them do their work. Sometimes you have to sacrifice chickens, even sheep/goats in deity’s name as he demands through shamans. Then BOOM!!! two to three days later the person is fit and fine. Same thing happened with my cousin brother. He called shamans, they did their process of healing by mantras for whole night and a day and after two days when I met him he was fit and fine and working in the field. Can you believe it? This is not the only example I got about this, I got many other things I’ll share them if you promise not to be bored by these stuffs. Another funny thing about my family deity’s rule is that married daughters of the family are not allowed to go near the place where we worship him. If the married daughter goes there then she is punished just like men who eat buff, sometimes he can twist your head to only one direction, make you whole body swollen. Then again you have to call shamans. What to do b’coz doctors are no help in these matters!

Let me tell you about my favorite picture I tried to take but somehow was not able to. I saw my favorite fruits “Gofla” hanging in the clump with thorns. So one day I went there, checked the spot, chose the best fruit to be captured by my camera, made myself a small place to hang myself on a branch that clump while clicking pictures. Got my cloths tore by thorns, nearly broke my spectacles when I slipped down from my hanging place, got thorns under my skin, couldn’t click the picture b’coz camera didn’t work due to darkness in the clump but I didn’t give up. I put my mission for next day to get my task done while sun gives light to it. Nest day I went but still my camera didn’t work as it was dark in the clump though sun was smiling bright and beautiful. Had to do some work so put my task again for next day for noon. Next day I went to the place and tried to click, still camera didn’t work b’coz of dim light there. So, I went to home to get some chopping materials to chop down some branches to let sunlight enter upon the fruit I wanted to have picture of. My dog was hungry so I was feeding her while my little cousin brother (I have about more than 100 cousin brothers!) came with the most sweet innocent smile on his face and told me “Smita didi! I have got you your fev. Fruits. Here you go!” He handed me fruits and I thanked him. After he was gone I looked at those fruits he had brought for me and smiled. But my smile faded away as one of them looked too much familiar for me. I checked it again and again. To be sure I went to the clump. Climbed on it and saw model of my most-wanted-to-be-picture was gone. I burst in laughter right there, ran home to tell my grandma who said, “your brother is good at solving problems!” we shared the laugh till tears fell from our eyes. Then I took that fruit to grandma and we satisfied our stomach together! I had not let her pick that fruit when she had tried to by telling her my plans and she was most of the time around me seeing every silly activities of me!

Over all I enjoyed my holiday to the fullest no matter what happened on the way to home. It was much more like reviving my childhood memories, learning about my culture, tradition and daily life of people living there. I worked in field, did cattle rearing, went to jungle to collect timbers, dry leaves and grasses and experienced the daily life in that place. Most important thing is that I got time to be with my parents in the place where I belong. I tried to understand everything and everyone and the way world moves around there. I saw happiness in pain; though their daily life has turned upside down due to civil war, they have not forgotten to laugh. Their innocence eyes still sparkle when they smile. They have not forgotten the humanity. But their tolerance capability seems to be reaching at its highest point, which is about to burst. I felt silence talking. And felt my body shiver!

General secretary of NEFIN been attacked

2007-02-18T20:52:00.000+05:30

General secretary of NEFIN been attacked
Kathmandu, Feb 15.

Ram Bahadur Thapa Magar, General Secretary of Nepal Federation of Indigenous Nationalities (NEFIN) was attacked by some youths and has been seriously wounded in Kalanki.

Indigenous and marginalized people had called for Kathmandu valley bandh on Thursday to give government pressure to address indigenous and marginalized people's demand of their representation in New Nepal's constitution. To make it a successful bandh Magar had gone to Kalanki when the incident happened. He was taken to Kathmandu Model Hospital where he regained his consciousness. He had to have about 12 stitches on the back and side of his head.

Talking to journalists he said, "After we asked local shopkeepers and vehicle-users to support our bandh I was standing alone on the road side when about 16 youths came and attacked me. The attack looked planned. They definitely knew who I was and whom they should attack.

Though it was said to be peaceful protest about two dozens of vehicles were vandalized and one motorbike was burned by aggressive protesters after Magar was attacked.