Sincera

LOVE UNEXPRESSED!!!

2009-03-31T09:12:00.002+05:30

2005

It started…I don’t know when and how. It just started…My heart leaped up at a glance of him. When they saw him walking across our college, most students (specially girls) could not help but notice him. He was tall and lanky with Aryan look; he had beautiful black eyes just perfect on his fair complexion. His wet-silky black hair flipped back above his forehead and his eyebrows always cocked upward when he was in deep conversation with teachers, friends and everybody. He was tender, thoughtful, charming and profound. And one thing he never forgot to carry with him…SMILE. It was breathtaking.

------ I was scared of him. -------

I used to sit at the second front bench in classroom with my best friend Poo who sat next-left to me. One day I told her about my strange feelings for him and showed him to her. She looked at me with her loving eyes and teasing smile. From that day on, whenever he used to pass by us we looked at each other and giggle. Sometimes when only one of us saw him passing by we’d slightly give a push or pinch to another and we ‘d both look (pretending not) at him till he disappeared from our sight. Then we’d look at each other and give a sigh with smile. After sometime you could hear our giggly laughter again.

He scared me because he was a real heartthrob and brilliant. When I used to see him I don’t know what used to happen to me that my heart used to beat so fast and loud that I could feel my chest jumping and hear the every beat of my heart clearly. Once I was heading for my class when I suddenly found myself FACE TO FACE with him. My heart stopped. I don’t remember what I did but he stared me which I can say ‘a long stare’ then gave me a loving smile and walked away. I didn’t dare to look back at him. I stood there like a statue; I don’t know for how long. Later I was sitting in my class…still trembling with red-hot face.

I was an ambitious teenage girl. I had my own goal, own destiny and a dream to fulfill. And…and that was the reason why I was scared of him. My feelings for him was beyond friendship…and I was afraid thinking those feelings may mislead me and stop me from what I wanted to be. So, I suppressed my emotions that were for him…just for him. When I ignored them I felt enough pain in my heart. I used to burst in tears as it was so hard to control and the pain was unbearable. I used to cry myself to sleep every night. Anyway, I managed to go on for my ambition ignoring my emotions for him. But my eyes never stopped searching for just a glance of him.

Seven months after I had met him, he left college as he had completed his course. And I…I had to stay one more year to complete my course. –He was one batch senior than me. – Again, I went through the same emotional pain. Only the difference was that this one was more stronger and more painful than previous one.

Now, I’ve achieved my dreams and I am ready for the warm relationship with him and I suddenly realize that he has gone too far for me to reach. I have lost him. But still my eyes are searching for a glance of him in every crowd that passes by me or I pass by and my heart is beating for a warm nearness of him.

I wonder if he ever knew about it…

In closing, I’d like to offer you words from Barbara De Angelis. She wrote, “ You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.” If only I had told him that I loved him; he could have been standing on my side and I could have got everything I wished for because I would have the greatest boon of world - “His Love”.

सुदूरपश्चिम ुफोटो प्रदर्शनीु एवं सांस्कृतिक उत्सव!

2009-03-28T18:29:00.003+05:30

काठमाडौं - भित्र छिर्दाबिट्टिकै भित्तामा झुण्डाइएका सुन्दर हिमालका मनमोहक दृश्यहरु देख्दा लाग्थ्यो त्यहाँ ती फोटा आगन्तुकहरुलाई स्वागत गर्नका लागि राखिएका हुन् ।

कैलाश हिमाल देखि गुत्पाल शैपाल तपोवन शालिमार अनि बहुरानी हिमाल जस्ता सेतै हिउँले ढाकिएका सुदूरपश्चिमका सुन्दर हिमालहरुको सुर्यदय देखि लिएर सूर्यास्तसम्ममा देखिने सुन्दरतालाई टपक्क टिपेर काठमाडौंमा लिएको जस्तो सुदूरपश्चिमको ुफाटो प्रदर्शनीु त्रिपुरेश्वर स्थित बल्र्ड ट्रेड सेन्टरमा विहीवार देखियो ।

जति हेर् यो उती मन प्रशन्न बनाउँने प्रदशनीमा राखिएका विभिन्न हिमालका फोटोपछि अर्को खण्डमा राखिएका पहाडी अनि तराई जनजीवनका रंगीन क्षणहरुका फोटोहरुले पनि उत्तिकै प्रशंसा पाइराखेका थिए ।

प्रशंसा गर्ने भिडमा सुदूरपश्चिमको तल्कोट बेदकाली गाउँमा जन्मेका गायक नन्दकृष्ण जोशी पनि थिए । आ७३टज्ञद्धद्धण्सनो अगाडिका फोटालाई उत्साहित हुँदै निहालीरहेका जोशीले भावविभोर हुदै भने - ुसधंै म देउडावाट आ७३टज्ञद्धद्धण्सनो जन्मभूमिको याद गरेको थिएँ तर आज यी फोटोहरुबाट सिधै गाउँ पुगेझै लाग्यो

शैपाल हिमालबाट बगेर आएको सेतीगँगा नदी र सुरमा सरोवरबाट कलकल बग्दै लाएको बाउलीगाड नदी चैनपुरमा भेट भएर कणार्ली बनाउन सँगै बगेको फोटोले काठमाडौंमा दिनको १६ घन्टा लोडसेडिङ्को मार खेपिराखेकालाई अविस्वाशीलो टाउको हल्लाउन बाध्य बनाएको थियो । नजिकै झुण्डाइएका बजाङ्गी राजा जयपृथ्वी बहादुर िसंहको दरबारले इतिहास सम्झाइराखेको थियो भने शैलेश्वरी बैधनाथ त्रिपुरा सुन्दरी खप्तड जस्ता विभिन्न मन्दिरहरुले सुदूरपश्चिमलाई धार्मिक स्थलको रुपमा परिचित गराएको देखिन्थ्यो ।

अर्को पट्टिको भित्तामा राखिएका उग्रतारा मन्दिरको गाँज खेत जोत्दै गरेका हलिया घर लिप्दै गरेकी बुढी आमा आ-आ७३टज्ञद्धद्धण्सना भेषभुषामा सजिएर मुसुक्क मुस्कुराएका युवती छलियादेखि पुतला मारुनी मङ्ग्रहवा सखिया नाँच नाचिराखेका तरवार र ढाल बोकेर खड्ग र चौलो नृत्यद्वारा युद्ध कला प्रदशन गरिराखेका जिवन्त तस्विरहरुले सुदूरपश्चिमको जीवनशैली झल्काइराखेको थियो । यता पट्टिको खण्डमा भने सर्पजस्तो घुमेको पहलमान िसंह राजमार्गको दृश्यसँगै खप्तड राष्ट्रिय निकुाज र शुक्लाफाँटा वन्यजन्तु आरक्षमा पाइने सुन्दर सुनगाभादेखि घाँसेमैदानमा खेलिराखेका मृगको बथान र आकाशगंगामा पखेटा फिजाएर रमाइराखेका गिद्धका फोटाले दर्शकलाई फर्कि फर्कि हेर्न बाध्य बनाएको थियो ।

ुयी फोटाबाट मलाई सुदूरपश्चिम पुगेझै लागेको छ । कति राम्रो रहेछ भविष्यमा म त्यहाँ अवश्य घुम्न जाने छुु फोटो प्रदशनीमा रमाइराखेकी काठमाडौंबासी सरीता श्रेष्ठले भनिन् । उत्सवमा उनले सुदूरपश्चिमेलीे सांस्कृतिक नृत्यहरु र खानाका विभिन्न परिकार चाखेपछिमात्र घरतिर लाग्ने बताइन् ।

महोत्सवको अवलोकन गर्न राजधानिको त्रिपुरेश्वर स्थित बल्र्ड ट्रेड सेन्टरमा पुगेका पूर्व प्रधानमन्त्री शेरवहादूर देउवाले विहिवार महोत्सवको उद्घाटन गरेका थिए । ुयी फोटा हेरेर मलाई थाहा भयो म जन्मेको ठाउँ कति सुन्दर छ । मैले कति ठाउँ त घुमेकै रहेन छु । अचम्म लागिराखेको छु उनले फोटो प्रदर्शनीमा राखिएका फोटा हेर्दै भने ।

ुयस्तो सुन्दर क्षेत्रलाई सरकारले आउँदो भिजिट नेपाल - २०११ को लागि विशेष प्रचार-प्रसार गर्नुपर्छु देउवाले जोड दिदै थपे ।

यस ुसुदुरपश्चिम ुफोटो प्रदर्शनीु एवं सास्कृतिक उत्सवु विहीवारदेखि आउदो आइतवारसम्म लाग्नेछ । उत्सवमा थारुको धमाली नाँचदेखि बैतडीको थलिया अछामको भुवा हुड्के जस्ता विभिन्न स्थानिय सांस्कृतिक नृत्यहरु प्रस्तुत गरिने र सुदुरपश्चिमका सबै किसिमका खानाका परिकार राखिने आयोजकले बताए ।

उत्सवका आयोजक कैलाली उद्योग वाणिज्य संघका महासचिव दिनेश राज भण्डारीले यस उत्सवले देशको विभिन्न भागमा सुदूरपश्चिमको प्रचार-प्रसार गर्नुका साथै यसका सम्भावनाका वारेमा उजागर गर्ने आशा व्यक्त गरे ।

प्रदर्शनीमा राखिएका फोटा पुस्तक र डीभीडिमा ५० प्रतिशत छुट दिइएको छ ।

Its Raining!!!! La..Lah...Lah...:)

2009-03-18T20:03:00.005+05:30

Its raining...Its raining and its raining!

Ohhhh....so cool! This winter had passed without a drop of rain from the sky this year, claiming itself a title of 'driest winter ever!' but now with the start of Spring, rain God has finally given us what we all had been praying for! Thank God its raining...or may be it stopped now...not so sure but hey hey heyyyy....at least it rained....Now, for time being I am sure we will be able to breath in a fresh air and see some fresh greeneries around Kathmandu. Isn't that Cool, or what!

For few days the weather had been so gloomy and dusty, it was irritating everyone and had given headache (I mean literally!) to many of them. When I had left home for the usual, it was not so different from yesterdays. Whole day, I failed to notice anything extra-ordinary about weather than before (I was too busy teasing people around me...today, my hormone for teasing others was extra-active in the surface!). So, when I was out of Kantipur Publications heading for home this afternoon around 6:30, it was all windy and the sky was frighteningly dark but I felt so so happy...and I actually clapped and did the titanic-wing move right there, outside the gate. Then I saw the first lightening, it was so out-of-no-where I nearly had a stroke!

I called my brother Ajay to do shopping with me. I was constantly frightened by loud sound of thundering and of light traveling through the areas where there was load-shedding. So, when I found Ajay standing by the Kathmandu Mall I really felt releaved. But, as soon as we entered the Mall it started drizzling. When we finished our shopping it was raining pretty heavy...but we thought we should head for home as it was getting late. Now, as I am shivering with cold I am regreting the decision. The rain was so so chilling while driving in a motorcycle...On the way home, I saw people sheltering under trees and by the houses! All the black ditches on the typical Kathmandu road were filled with dirty water...when vehicles passed by those they made fountains of it...which was also one of the reason those walkers-by were all drenched from head to toe. Irritating part to say!

But, can you smell the soil, the mud, the Earth...the smell is so delightful and so so fresh...so good! I am happy...tomorrow it will not be a dusty and gloomy day!

असरल्ल किताब!

2009-03-19T20:27:00.002+05:30

स्मिता मगर

किताबको रासमाथि ध्वाँसो पोतिएजस्तो दृश्य देखिन्छ । धूलोले छोपेका किताब कतै डोरीले बाँधेर बन्डलमा राखिएका छन्, केही छरपस्ट । साझा प्रकाशनको पुल्चोकस्थित मुख्यालयको किताब गोदामको दृश्य हो यो जुन महिनौं र वर्षौंदेखि उस्तै छ ।

साझा प्रकाशनभन्दा बाहिरबाट बिक्रीका लागि ल्याइएका र थन्किएर बसेका पुस्तकमा निकै नाम चलेकादेखि नामै नसुनिएकासम्मको रास छ । बच्चैदेखि किताबलाई सरस्वती मानेर ढोग्ने बानी लागेका नेपाली पाठकलाई भित्ते र्‍याकमा पुस्तक तल्र्याङ्तुर्लुङ झुन्डाइएको दृश्य अनौठो पनि लाग्छ । 'कोठामा यताउता गरेका बेला दुई/तीनपटक किताबको चाङमा ठोकिएन भने त अचम्मै हुन्छ,' स्टोरकिपर लक्ष्मण पोखरेलले हाँस्दै भने, 'अब त यो रासमा छिर्ने र पुस्तक खोज्ने बानी परिसकेको छ ।'

पोखरेलका अनुसार गोदाममा २०२२ सालमा प्रकाशन भएदेखिका पुस्तक थुपि्रएका छन् । संख्या मात्रै १ करोडको हाराहारी अनुमान छ । १० रुपैयाँदेखि ३ हजार रुपैयाँ मूल्यसम्मका पुस्तक थन्किएका छन् । उपन्यासकार धुव्रचन्द्र गौतमको उपन्यास 'मौन' देखि डायमण्ड शमशेरको 'धनको धब्बा' र कवि श्रवण मुकारुङको नाटक 'यलम्बर' सम्म थुपि्रएका छन् । सबैभन्दा बढी नबिक्ने र थुपि्रने सूचीमा कवितासंग्रह छन् । 'किरा, धमिरा र मुसाबाट जोगाउन औषधि पनि छर्कन्छौं,' पोखरेलले भने ।

साझाले बिक्रीका लागि किताब लिनुभन्दा पहिले प्रकाशक वा लेखकसँग सम्झौता गर्ने गरेको र सम्झौता गरेको तीन वर्षपछि बिक्री नभएका किताब फिर्ता लानुपर्ने सर्त रहने गरेको प्रशासन शाखाका प्रबन्धक धीरेन्द्रराज खनालले बताए । 'तर यो सम्झौताको कार्यान्वयन फाट्टफुट्टले मात्रै गर्ने गरेकाले यहाँ गोदाम भरिएको हो,' खनाल भन्छन् ।

साझाका अर्का एक कर्मचारीका अनुसार पटकपटक आफ्नो किताब लिन आउनुस् भन्ने सूचना प्रकाशन गर्दा पनि स्रष्टाहरू नआइदिनाले किताबको रास लागेको हो । लेखकहरूको ध्यानाकर्षण गर्नकै लागि भए पनि डोजर लगाएर गोदाम खाली गर्नुपर्ने स्थिति आइसकेको उनी बताउँछन् । 'तर पुस्तक जस्तोमा डोजर लगाउन पनि मिलेन,' उनले भने ।

गोदाम भरिनुमा लेखक, प्रकाशक तथा वितरक सबैको उत्तिकै कमजोरी रहेको साहित्यकार ध्रुवचन्द्र गौतमको भनाइ छ । साझाका पूर्वमहाप्रबन्धकसमेत रहेका गौतमले भने, 'सबै पुस्तक नबिक्लान् तर जति बिक्री हुनुपर्ने हो नहुनुमा साझाको वितरण प्रणाली उचित नहुनाले हो ।'

उनका अनुभवमा राम्ररी सुरक्षा नगरिदिने र बजारमा समयमा नपुर्‍याइदिनाले पनि पुस्तकको रास जमेको हो तर प्रकाशन शाखाका एक कर्मचारी भने बजारमा बिक्री नभएका र हुन नसक्ने पुस्तक गोदाममा बुझाइने 'बाध्यता' सुनाउँछन् ।

गोदाममा पुस्तक थन्किनेमध्येका कवि श्रवण मुकारुङ भने 'साझा प्रकाशनले स्वतन्त्ररूपमा पुस्तक प्रकाशन गर्नेलाई असमान व्यवहार गरेको' बताउँछन् । 'हाम्रा किताब बजारमा समयमै पुर्‍याइँदैन, प्रदशनीमा पनि राखिँदैन जब कि हाकिम, कर्मचारीका किताब भने ठाउँठाउँमा समयमै पुर्‍याइने गरेको छ ।'

लेखकको समस्या आफ्नै छ । 'आफ्ना किताब घरमा राखेर पनि के गर्ने ? बिक्री संयन्त्र छैन । मेरा केही पुस्तक साझामा थन्किएका होलान्,' उपन्याकार गौतमले भने । यता साझाका प्रबन्धक खनाल पनि स्रस्टाहरूको सहमतिमा गोदाममा थन्किएका पुस्तक पुस्तकालयलाई दिन सकिने सुझाव दिन्छन् । उनले साझाको दायित्वभित्र नभएका पुस्तक माग गरिएको अवस्थामा निःशुल्क दिन थालिएको पनि बताए । 'किरालाई ख्वाउन किन थुपार्ने ? पुस्तकप्रेमी संस्था र समुदायलाई बाँड्न थालेका छौं,' उनले भने । फेरि कवि मुकारुङ भने पुस्तकलाई बजारमै नपुर्‍याइ पुस्तकालयमा दिनु अर्को बदमासी हुने तर्क राख्छन् ।

गोदाममा 'जेल जर्नल' लगायतका केही बिकाउ पुस्तक पनि छन् जसलाई साझा कर्मचारीका अनुसार 'स्टक' मा राखिएको हो, गोदाममा थन्क्याइएको भने होइन ।

(Source:http://www.kantipuronline.com/kolnepalinews.php?&nid=185228)

टुँडिखेलमा ताप्लेजुङ

2009-03-15T07:23:00.002+05:30

स्मिता मगर

काठमाडौं, ओल्लो कुनामा मगमगाएको तोम्बा, पल्लोमा मुखै रसाउने बङ्गुरको भुटन र चौरको बीचमा लिम्बूहरूको नाँचौंनाचौं लाग्ने धान नाच । ताप्लेजुङको यो रंगरस शुक्रबार दिउँसो काठमाडौंको टुँडिखेलमा देखियो ।

शुक्रबार सुरु दुईदिनेे ताप्लेजुङ मेलामा सुदूरपूर्वी पहाडी जिल्लाका एक होइन, अनेक झलक देख्न पाइयो । याकको छुर्पी, हातबाट बनेका धागाका कपडा, जडिबुटी औषधिसहितका ७५ स्टल आफैंमा घुमिरहुँझैं थिए । पहिलो दिनमा नै टुँडिखेलमा ठूलो जमात उपस्थित थियो । सांस्कृतिक भेषभूषामा सजिएर आएका युवायुवती पनि हूलमा थिए । त्यही भिडमा धाननाच हेर्दै बङ्गुरको मासु स्वादिलो मानेर खाइराखेकी सोलुखुम्बुकी दिलकुमारी राईले भनिन्, 'ताप्लेजुङको मेला कस्तो होला भन्ने कौतूहल मेटाउन टुँडिखेलभित्र छिरेकी थिएँ, एकदम रमाइलो भइराखेको छ ।'

'ताप्लेजुङलाई चिनौं, ताप्लेजुङसँग रमाऔं' नारालाई अझ बुझाउँदै मेला संयोजक बलबहादुर तामाङले भने, 'ताप्लेजुङमा आन्तरिक तथा बाह्य पर्यटक आकषिर्त गर्न मेला आयोजना गरिएको हो ।' गत फागुन दोस्रो सातामा फुङलिङमै ताप्लेजुङ महोत्सव भए पनि अरू भेगका दर्शकको उपस्थिति त्यति नदेखिएकाले सबैलाई सुदूर थलो चिनाउन काठमाडौंमा अर्को मेला आयोजना गरिएको उनले बताए ।

मेलामा धाननाच नाचिराखेकी गायिका झुमा लिम्बूले जिल्लाका आफन्त भेट्न पाएकामा खुसी हुँदै भनिन्, 'धेरै समयपछि एकैपटक मेरा जिल्लाका यति धेरै आफन्तजन भेट्दै छु, खुसी लागेको छ ।' उनले यो मेलाले ताप्लेजुङका नयाँ कलाकारलाई नयाँ अनुभवका साथै जिल्लाबाहिरका दर्शकसामु चिनिने अवसर दिने बताइन् ।

मेलामा महिला र पुरुष दुवैको डोरी तान्ने खेल प्रतियोगिताले यता खेलाडीलाई मैदानमा उडेको धुलोले फुस्रैफुस्रो मात्र बनाएन, डोरी तान्दा लडिबुडी भएका खेलाडी र तिनलाई हेरिराखेका दर्शक पेट मिचिमिचि हाँसेका थिए । अर्कोतिर भने पुरुष भलिबल प्रतियोगिताको जोस र दुवै टिमले जित्नका लागि बगाएको पसिनाले दर्शकलाई घरिघरि ताली बजाउन बाध्य बनाएको थियो ।

मेलामा ताप्लेजुङका प्रतिभा मनोज गजुरेल, नवीन सुब्बा, दीपक लिम्बू, जुना प्रसाईंलगायतका कलाकारको जमघट भने शनिबार हुँदै छ ।

मेला प्रसारप्रचार समिति संयोजक टंक श्रेष्ठले तराई बन्दका कारण जिल्लाबाट आउनुपर्ने जति सामान नआएको बताए । 'सबै सरसामान हवाईमार्ग र एम्बुलेन्सबाट ल्याइएका हुन्, बेच्ने सामान त ल्याउनै पाइएन,' उनले थपे ।

गोठभन्ज्याङमा क्याम्प-फायर

2009-03-12T23:33:00.002+05:30

स्मिता मगर

ललितपुर, होली उपत्यकामा रहेका तराईमूलका बाहेकले मंगलबार मनाए । ठूलो जमात रंग दलादल र पानी छ्यापाछ्यापमा मस्त रह्यो । उपत्यका खाल्डामै रहेका तन्नेरीको अर्को जमात भने फागु मनाउन भिन्न उद्देश्यसाथ दलचोकी गोठभन्ज्याङमा थियो ।

पचास तन्नेरी करिब तीन घन्टाको कच्ची बाटो छिचोल्दै भट्टेडाँडानजिकैको मनोरम भन्ज्याङमा पुगेका थिए । अंग्रेजी लेखक टमस हार्डीको 'फार पmम द म्याडिङ क्राउड' मा भनिएझैं उनीहरू एकान्तमा बढी नै आनन्दित देखिन्थे ।

'फागु पूणिर्मा हर्ष र उमंगको उत्सव भए पनि उपत्यकामा पर्वका नाममा विकृति फैलेको छ,' तन्नेरीहरूलाई अगुवाइ गरेर दलचोकी पुर्‍याइसकेपछि युवा अभियानका उपाध्यक्ष रूख गुरुङले भने, 'त्यसको प्रतीकात्मक विरोध जनाउन यहाँ आएका हौं ।' विशेषतः सृजनात्मक कामसँगै कलासंस्कृतिको सम्मान गर्न दशकदेखि होली यसरी मनाउन थालेको उनले जानकारी दिए ।

राष्ट्रिय युवा सेवा र स्मार्ट क्लबको समेत सक्रियतामा जुटेको हूलमा दन्त चिकित्सकदेखि राष्ट्रिय फुटबल खेलाडी, मोडलदेखि विद्यार्थीसम्म थिए ।

लगनखेलमा मंगलबार बिहानै जुटेको जमात मध्याह्नतिर गन्तव्य पुगेको थियो । सुत्ने र खानेबस्ने चाँजो अभियानले स्थानीय बासिन्दाको घरमै मिलाएको रहेछ । तन्नेरीहरूले गुन्द्रुकको अचारले जिब्रो पड्काउँदै खाना खाए । भोटुडाँडाको हाइकिङमा रमाए । सल्ला र लालीगुँरासले भरिएको भोटुडाँडाको टुप्पाबाट उपत्यकाको क्रंक्रिट जंगल देखिए पनि सहभागीहरू वीरगन्ज सहरतर्फ लालायित भए तर तुवाँलोले तराईको औद्योगिक नगरीलाई ढपक्क ढाकेको थियो ।

घुमघामपछि गोठभन्ज्याङ पुग्नुको खास काम सुरु भयो ।

युवाहरू भोटुडाँडाबाट अलि तल मनकामना मन्दिरमा झरे । मन्दिर पु+mग उडेको थियो । साथै ल्याएको पेन्ट, चुना, कुचोले उनीहरू मन्दिरका भित्ता उजिल्याउन थाले ।

'गोरखाको मनकामनाकै प्रतिरूप मानिने यो मन्दिरमा वैशाखमा मेला लाग्ने भएकाले गाउँलेले रंगरोगन गर्न आग्रह गरेका थिए,' युवा अभियानका महासचिव विपिन पोखरेलले भेद खोले । सहरी युवालाई गाउँले जीवनको झल्को दिनु पनि उद्देश्य रहेको उनले बताए ।

तन्नेरीहरूले मन्दिर परिसरमा सरसफाइ पनि गरे । विगतमा अभियानले ललितपुरको बिष्टाछाप गाउँमा बाटो खन्ने, खेलमैदान, पानीट्यांकी बनाउने गरेको रहेछ ।

'साह्रै रमाइलो भयो,' एनआरटीका फुटबल खेलाडी बालगोपाल साहुखलले भने, 'थप सामाजिक काम गर्नुपर्ने थियो ।'

युवा जमघटबाट दलचोकी गाविसका निवर्तमान अध्यक्ष रामशरण आलेमगर पनि कम उत्साहित थिएनन् । 'यिनले हाम्रो गाउँको विकासमा लाग्न हौस्याएका छन्,' उनले सुनाए ।

दलचोकी गाउँ जान प्रत्येक सहभागीबाट ४ सय रुपैयाँ लिइए पनि आनन्द र उत्साहसामु त्यो नगण्य भएको प्रत्येकको अनुहारले बताइरहेको थियो ।

उपत्यका खाल्डाबाट 'पहिलोपल्ट बाहिर निस्केकी' काठमाडौंकी नर्सिङ विद्यार्थी प्रविना कर्माचार्य दलचोकी जाने बाटामा लालीगुराँस हेर्नमा मग्न थिइन् । 'एकदम रमाइलो लागिराखेको छ । प्रकृति र गाउँले जीवनको मज्जा लिँदै होली फरक तरिकाले मनाउन पाइयो,' उनले भनिन् ।

तन्नेरीले डन्डीबियोलगायतका खेलबाट पनि आनन्द उठाए । मध्यरातमा गितार र मादल
बजाए, गीत । मंगलबार रात पूर्णेको जून उदाएपछि क्याम्पफायर सुरु भयो जसले झनै लोभ्यायो । क्याम्पफायरको तातोमा दोहोरी खेल्ने र आलु पोलेर खानेहरू पनि रौसिए ।

(source: www.ekantipur.com)

Poem and Others!!!!

2009-03-09T19:17:00.004+05:30

I Can't be Her

Sita? Nay, nay, I'm not.
I can't be her
Nor do I ever bother to be
In this era which is devoid of Rama

I'd like to be my won
Mind and Spirit,
Go on the path I make for self
As determined as Sisyphus, I
Can't dance in other's tune

She, made by the minorities of the present
Prides in what they crowned her with
While the majority of the present, do
Pride in the self-made I

I am not Sita for
There is no Rama for her.
A self-made I, Can't
Toe the line of others.

(This poem is from my upcoming Poetry Book! It is translated from "Ma Sita Hoina" by my teacher 'Keshab Sharma'; the most amazing Literature teacher I ever had ---)

Its been long...many months since I last updated my blog. Many reasons behind it...apart from the obvious reasons like --- network problems and loadshedding....my lazy-bone had some extreme urge to be lazier this season. I apologize to my regular visitors for not updating.

I am very thankful to lots of commentators who really made my lazy bone to give-up on its greap! Thank you so much for your suggestions and all the comments that encourages me to go on doing things that I love! I hope you will be there in my coming future as well! I am grateful for all your precious time and comments!

Ummm....lately, I have been doing nothing of importance. I stayed home, dreamt a lot (I love sleeping), gained some weight (I am not complaining! :P) and enjoyed reading amazing novels. I do not regret it because now I am full of energy...I think I will complete what I have planned to. --- Just joined Kantipur daily as in intern (again for my Bachelors - 3rd Years - Practical in Journalism). Enjoying it...the environment is very lively inside the Kantipur hall!

Also, I am going to MOON CAMP tomorrow to celebrate HOLI - festival of colours! It is organized by Youth Initiatives. It is going to be my second lovely experience. I will write about it when I come back from Battedanda on Wednesday! In detail --- its a promise!

“The Sari Soldiers”

2008-06-05T07:11:00.005+05:30

Six Nepalese Women with Different Ideologies Find Common Ground Through Film!

Smita Magar

Kathmandu, December 22-These two strong women came together to film other six strong women‘s real life stories with different perspectives on the ongoing decade-long conflict in the country; on their reels.

A decade of bloody people’s war left Nepal with deep scars that no one knows when they will heal. These two strong women saw the extraordinary power hidden beneath the scars on six particular Nepalese women who struggled to overcome their loss and found the hope to fight on from different poles to reach the destinations they believed in.

These two strong women are Julie Bridgham and Ramyata Limbu; director/producer and co-producer of the documentary “The Sari Soldiers”. In 2005, during the time of the Maoist insurgency in Nepal, one, an American woman, the other, a 7 months pregnant Nepali woman took their chances and started filming the documentary. “It was very difficult and very challenging epecially after King Gyanendra’s coup on February 1st. We had no idea which direction the country was headed and also it was very difficult to physically reach some of the characters of our film,” said Julie Bridgham. “For Julie, being an American during those times was in some way dangerous because Maoists had their different way of looking at American citizens so we had to take considerable precautions,” Ramyata Limbu added.

The documentary observes six extraordinary women’s lives and their involvement in the decade-long conflict. The women include Devi Sunuwar, mother of a "disappeared" daughter Maina Sunuwar, a human rights attorney Mandira Sharma, an anti-Maoist village leader Krishna Shahi, a street protesting student activist & leader Ram Kumari Jhakri, a Royal Nepal Army officer Rajani K.C, and a Maoist People’s Liberation Army Brigadier Commissar Kamala Roka alias Kranti. It shows the role of women on all sides of the conflict as well as the greater political and human rights issues in the decade-long insurgency. It reveals their participation in major political events, exposes their victimization while showing the positive roles they played in transforming Nepal using bold steps to lead with their beliefs.

Though the Sari in the name is a metaphorical name for female-civilians, director Bridgham said “Each is a fascinating individual making significant impacts in the country, with her own perspective of looking at the conflict of the country. Each is to be celebrated as a person in herself, not in particular as a women.” While Limbu smilingly added that her life has been enriched by meeting those totally different, and yet so similar individuals, each with strong determination and each struggling through the conflict, it was a very wonderful experience for her to see the characters unfold through the different events.

Apart from the challenges they had to face while filming the documentary, Bridgman and Limbu shared another challenge when they showed their film to the six women together in the studio. “We were very nervous that day. We had brought all of them together in one place for the very first time. At first, there was hardly any communication between them, but then after seeing the documentary they talked about it with each other and interacted freely. The environment became more enjoyable then,” said Limbu remembering that memorable day.

After seeing the audience response in their two special screenings of the documentary in Nepal, the film makers are very excited. “It’s great to see people responding strongly to the film. We hope it will be shown the film. We hope it will be shown all over Nepal and result in discussion, dialogue and understanding between people with different views about the decade long conflict,” states Bridgham. She further added that they are hoping viewers will understand why these six women who hold different opinions are able to reach common understanding.

"The Sari Soldiers” delves into how women were increasingly involved in the conflict and for that, it is a captivating film. Each story touches the audience emotionally, changing their emotions with the changes of the story in the film. “The documentary is very powerful. Being able to combine each perspective and give full justice to each personality in the film is remarkable,” said one of the characters of the film, Ram Kumari Jhakri Magar said.

Photo courtesy: 1st & 2nd photos are provided by Julie Bridgham director/producer of the documentary “The Sari Soldiers”.

(Source:- www.usnepalonline.com)

पारिजात सङ्घर्षशील पुरस्कार अर्की सङ्घर्षशील नारीलाई

2008-05-17T07:19:00.004+05:30

Parijat and Her Legacy Bearers

Smita Magar

Kathmandu, May 11

The three awards named after the famous Nepalese writer Parijat, were given to three prominent Nepalese: Gazal writer Bund Rana Magar, youth leader Ram Kumari Jhakri Magar and artist Kiran Manandhar.

The special event was organized by Parijat Memorial Center on the 14th Parijat Memorial Day.

Bund Rana Magar received the Parijat Creation Award (Parijat Srijanshil Puraskar), Kiran Manandhar received the Parijat Art Award (Parijat Kala Puraskar) and Ram Kumari Jhakri Magar received the Parijat Struggles for Women Award (Parijat Sangharsashil Nari Puraskar) in recognition of their outstanding contributions.

Ram Kumari Jhakri noted that Parijat lead and inspired our youth through her strong and powerful contributions in literature and in the cultural/political scene.

Thanking organizers for the honor, Jhakri said “I am receiving this award on behalf of all Nepali youth who want to create a better Nepal”.

Artist Kiran Manandhar shared his beautiful memories with Parijat. “We artists and writers have the power to change the world using only pen, brush and color. Therefore, like Parijat, we must join hands to build a New Nepal”.

Gazal writer Bund Rana recited his one of the best gazals and announced that he will use his award to publish more of his writings.

Katyayeni, a famous Indian Progressive writer described Parijat’s writings as absurdum and existential crisis as well as describing the political, social and cultural issues of country.

Maoist leader and culture expert Mohan Baidhya “Chaitanya” said “Parijat is a foundation of Nepal’s cultural and literary movement. She has given birth to characters who have fought for more than a decade in the Maoists People’s War, and have emerged victorious.”

Sukanya Waiwa, Parijat’s sister, said it was the happiest and the saddest day for her. “Saddest in that she is no longer with us, happiest in that she continues to live through her writings and her deeds.”

Nepalese poets Sudha Tripathi and Mahesh Maskey also spoke about Parijat.

Each awardee received Rs.10, 000 cash and a Tamrapatra.

Parijat was born in 1937 in Darjeeling, India and arrived in Kathmandu in 1954. She completed high school at Padma Kanya School, Kathmandu and earned a Bachelor of Arts degree. At age 26 she became paralyzed and was supported for the rest of her life by her sister Sukanya Waiba Tamang.

She published three poetry collections, many short stories and ten novels. Her first short story "Mailey Najanmayeko Choro" became an all time favourite. She is best known as a novelist. “ Siris ko Ful” gained the national and international popularity. She was awarded Madan Puraskar for the novel in 1965. She received many other literary awards for her writing and dedication to Nepalese literature.

Parijat was a part of the Ralfa literature movement and played a pivotal role in the establishment of Pragati Sil Lekhan Sangh. She was active in Akhil Nepal Mahila Manch, Bandi Sahayata Niyog, and Nepal Manav Adhikar Sangathan.

Parijat remained unmarried and continued to suffer the pain and struggle against her disabilities. She never gave up. She inspired everyone. She died in 1993. She lives today in the heart of the Nepalese people as one of their heroes.

(Source: http://www.usnepalonline.com/)

Locking horns in the hills!

2008-03-29T04:30:00.001+05:30

By Smita Magar

Posted on: 2008-01-17 01:55:27

“Next year, I'm going to buy a bigger and stronger bull to win the award," said Rudra Bahadur Paudyal of Budhasing-6, Nuwakot. He was one of the participants of the unique "bull-fight" tradition celebrated on the occasion of Maghe Sankranti in Nuwakot.
Despite losing the game on Tuesday afternoon Paudyal said, "This was my first participation at such an event. Therefore, I wasn't aware of all that was needed to win. But, next year I'm certainly going to be very careful and give my bull better nutrients, at least six months ahead of the tournament."
Ironically, Paudyal got injured by his own bull, just when he arrived for the registration. "I couldn't miss this chance; I was very excited to participate and wanted to show that my bull was no less a competitor," he shared.
Like Paudyal, every year when Maghe Sankranti arrives, the people at Nuwakot not only celebrate the day with traditional ghiu-chaku, but also make it a point to make the “bull-fight” a grand ceremony. This year was no exception either. Not only did the locals enjoy the event, some 2,000 neighboring villagers too witnessed the extravaganza.
"As people from places like Dhading, Kathmandu, Syangja and Chitwan too popped in, we experienced many more spectators than what we had last year," highlighted Toran Kumar Shahi, President of Maghe Sankranti Fiesta Management Committee (MFMC).
Along with those who seemed enthralled to witness the show, there were also a few who took it a malpractice in terms of animal rights.
"It is a guilty pleasure," told Rajan Shrestha, a youth who had come to watch the bull fight from Batar, neighboring village of Taruka, Nuwakot.
"Like anyone else I'm here to see how the event is conducted. However, though it has traditional values, I now realize that we human beings have become selfish to such large extent that we can go beyond limits for our pleasure and enjoyment," he added.
Similarly, Purushottam Adhikari, an active member of Human Rights Organization of Nepal (HURON) had his own point of view: "I agree that it's one of the unique cultural practices. Nonetheless, it is also a heinous crime when it comes to animal rights. However, I don't mean that the tradition needs to be abolished; one can instead make sure that neither the bulls nor anyone else gets injured."
According to the villagers the "bull-fight" was incepted in the district some 200 years ago. "Participating in a bull fight has always been an honor, a platform to portray class and status," said Jham Bahadur Pradhan, one of the elder members of the district.
Till a few years ago the winners used to be felicitated with red tika and would be carried on shoulders and with a panche baja procession behind. However, this practice didn't last long as some people did not admire this act. Pradhan put in, "There's nothing wrong in organizing such events. After all, we need to preserve out culture."
Along with a winning trophy, the winner of the competition also gets a hundred rupee.

(Source: The Kathmandu Post)

With 1 surviving speaker, Dura going dodo way

2008-03-29T04:24:00.003+05:30

BY SMITA MAGAR

KATHMANDU, Jan 9 - Soma Devi Dura is 82. Given the life expectancy of an average Nepali, she is nearing her last days. Soma Devi's death won't merely be the death of an individual. The only source of a language of Nepal's western hills will die with her.
Researchers and university professors say the octogenarian lady is the only native speaker of the Dura language, which used to be spoken in parts of Lamjung and Tanahun districts in western Nepal.
"My finding is that the only living person who can speak Dura is Soma Devi," says Kedar Bilash Nagila, a PhD scholar who is writing a thesis on the critically endangered Dura language.
Nagila says Soma Devi is the only authentic source of information for the thesis which he is preparing as a sequel to his MA thesis.
Professor Madhav Prasad Pokharel, a senior linguist at the Central Department of Linguistics at Tribhuvan University says, "In case anything happens to Soma Devi, the entire effort to preserve the endangered language will receive a jolt."
Soma Devi lives in Handikhola of Dura Danda, Lamjung. Her husband, son and five daughters cannot speak Dura.
Nagila said lack of transmission of the Dura language between generations is the major reason behind its becoming endangered, while the dominance of Nepali speakers in surrounding areas is another reason.
Modnath Prashrit, a culture expert, said a language becomes endangered when the community to which it belongs decides that it is an impediment. "Children may discard their native tongue after realizing that other more-widely spoken languages are more useful," he explained.
Kishore Dura, president of Dura Seva Samaj, added, "Government policy promoting only the Khas (Nepali) language also led to the endangering of indigenous languages like Dura".
Dura Seva Samaj and researcher Nagila have been planning to bring Soma Devi to Kathmandu with the support of the National Foundation for Development of Indigenous Nationalities so that the language of which only 1,500 words and 250 sentences have been documented so far can be documented.
"We are very corncerned about the threat faced by the Dura language,"said Lok Bahadur Thapa, member secretary of the Foundation. He said the Foundation is holding discussions with both the researcher and the Dura Seva Samaj to bring Soma Devi to Kathmandu.
To add to the threat faced by Dura, Soma Devi is blind and deaf and would need special hearing equipment to facilitate documentation of the language. "We hope we will be able to overcome the problems soon," said Thapa.
Kishore said there is a ray of hope for the language as it is now being taught to children of the Dura community with the help of the 1,500 words and 250 sentences that have been documented. Two books have already been prepared on the language. "We are trying to publish an edited version of the books," he said.
Prof Yogendra Prasad Yadav, chief of the Central Department of Linguistics at TU, said, "The key to getting a language revitalized is getting a new generation of speakers."

(Source: The Kathmandu Post)

26th Magar Day Celebrated!

2008-03-29T04:17:00.001+05:30

Source: www.usnepalonline.com

Smita Magar
February 27.

The Magar communities celebrated its 26th Magar Day on Thursday in capital demanding the proportional representation in Constituent Assembly (CA) polls and Lakhan Thapa Magar to be declared as the first martyrs of the country.

Starting the celebration with nearly 1,000 Magar participants on the occasion, the rally was taken out from the Bhadrakali to Ratnapark and finally to Bhrikuti Mandap where formal program was conducted.

Inaugurating the program, Minister of Cultural, Tourism and Civil Aviation Prithvi Subba Gurung urged leaders of Magar community to present the facts and essential documents that prove Captain Lakhan Thapa Magar to be the first martyr so that he can start on the process to declare Thapa Magar first martyr of the country. “I request Magar community leaders to present the facts that prove Thapa Magar to be the first martyr as soon as possible. I give my words, if facts support I will myself put forward the process to declare Thapa Magar first martyr of the country,” said Gurung on the program.

Similarly, addressing the crowd he added “For centuries Magar community has been ignored by the state’s ruler and so it has suffered for its ethnic identity, equal rights and representation in country’s administration but now through upcoming CA polls Magar will write their own history. Therefore, it is an opportunity for Magars to write their own history and ensure their rights and representation in the country.”

On the occasion, Nepal Magar Association’s President Jhak Bahadur Thapa handed over the memorandum to Minister Subba Gurung in which mainly three main points are highlighted. They are: Magars to be given the Magarat Autonomous State, Captain Lakhan Thapa Magar to be declared First Martyr of the country and implementation of the full proportional CA poll system on the basis of ethnic population.

Also speaking in the program, Mohan Thapa Magar, coordinator of the Magar Youth Association (MYA) said that State has been ignoring the sacrifice of Magar community. “Every time every ruler has been using Magars as the pillar to its rule/regime, may it be Rana regime, Shah Regime or Maoist but after they are on power they forget the blood spilled by Magars for the betterment of the country,” he said. “They have been insulting our sacrifice but this time we will fight for our identity, rights and representation,” he added.

Further adding he said, “Our main goal at the moment is to establish the Magarat Autonomus Region and for that Magar youths are ready than ever.”

Kumar Thapa Magar, vice-president of Democratic Magar Association stressing over the declaration of Lakhan Thapa Magar as the first martyr of the country said, “My salutes to those Magars of Rupandehi district who established Lakhan Thapa’s statue on the place of King Birendra.” Adding at the program, he said, “Now, it is time for Magars of Kathmandu to put statue of first martyr on the place of King Tribhuban’s statue that is at Shahid Gate.”

On the Lakhan Thapa Magar Day, 2nd of Falgun in Rupandehi, Magars have established Lakhan Thapa Magar’s statue where there used to be King Birendra’s statue which was destroyed during in the beginning of Madhesh Movement last year.

Jhak Bahadur Thapa Magar, President of NMA speaking at a program said that NMA will bring many programs, protests to pressurize government to declare Lakhan Thapa Magar as first martyr, establish the Magarat Autonomous State and implementation of full proportional CA election system. “Our protests and voices will not stop until we get our demands fulfilled,” he added.

Also on the same occasion, President of Tamang Ghedung Association Dhan Prasad Tamang said that like other janajatis he hoped Magar will also fight to get Magarat Autonomous State and its ethnic identity with full proportional representation in CA. “We will be helping each other to fulfill these demands,” Tamang added.

On the same occasion, Kshyam Thapa Magar, former President of Nepal Magar Association of South Korea handing over 1 lakh 73 thousand and 3 hundred to NMA said, “It is a plight of nation and Nepalese people that when an ethnic community is demanding for autonomous state it is taken as the splitting of nation.”

Personalities like Bom Kumari Budha Magar, Bhoj Bikram Budha Magar, Hong Kong Rana Magar, Fatik Thapa Magar and others also spoke in the program calling for all Magar community to join hand and fight for the ethnic identity, rights and maximum representation in upcoming Constituent Assembly.

Magar Day is being celebrated on the occasion of establishment day of Nepal Magar Association which was known as Nepal Langhali Association till 2048 B.S. Nepal Langhali Association was established on Falgun 15 of 2039 and its first National Convention in Damauli had decided to celebrate the day as a Magar Day. Last year Magars had celebrated its Silver Jubilee.

Where I Belong!

2008-03-03T04:04:00.004+05:30

Under the protecting eyes of Ramajima and Mount Sishne, she blossoms in all seasons of the year. There is a very genuine misconception in urban areas about her; many of urban-born affectionately call her ‘mountain’ though in reality she is just a hill. She doesn’t touch the blue sky above her as Mount Everest does. But, she is the only one in the whole world who can take children on her rainbow to travel through the world of heaven and bring them back to herself.

Far from the world of maddening crowed, of plastic and the worldly eyes of intruders, she hides. Here, people born out of her are the only ones who can feel their blood give rush when they see her from miles away because they are so much alike that they are linked with each other to feel each-others heartbeat. These people are out of her seed and are as enigmatic as she is. Only intruders in this virgin society are poets and the God and Goddess of nature. I can guarantee, Laxmi Prasad Devkota must have been the only intruder in this society in his dreams and must have been inspired by her to write every words of his life. These were extraordinary beings with extraordinary powers that linked them with her.

But, if you decide to go and see her leaving your cozy home in Kathmandu, you will have to drive west through almost forgotten-highway for two days in bus and then walk for three days to find her in front of your eyes. After some days of relaxation upon her lap, you will not be able to impede yourself from putting on your hiking shoes. And then, after 3 hours hike through the small trails passing cheerfully through deep wooded forest with artistic old trees standing tall just asking you to appreciate them for their age while thousands of wild flowers beg you to stop and smell their heavenly scent. With those temptation and discovering mysteries hidden behind those rocks of hers if you still can move forward you step on Ramli. And after missing few breaths; standing on grassy sheep pasture when you look around; there, you will discover yet another stimulating reward in those smiling mountains and unfolding hills that extend to the horizon. At that time, your eyes will see the miracle of her; the startling synchronization of natural colour…the valley with scattered villages by the deep blue river and hills raised from those villages extend from being deep green to haze blue in the horizon behind the folds of higher hills and suddenly turn itself white with snow covered mountains behind them protecting and cherishing them.

After that magical moment, when you have caught your breath and you are relaxed you have to look directly below you to see her. With some scattered thatched roof houses, deep green forests and potato, maize, millet and mustards fields, at first you might find her as ordinary as other hills quietly lying next to her. She will not make you gape or reach for your camera like Everest does. But you will discover she will not allow you to turn your head away from her as well. It is that time when you decide to look her closely enough to find something striking hidden inside her. Then you will discover, there is something very intriguing about her. It is a wonder; to find her become alive in front of your very own eyes.

Through her prairie you will see two different worlds within a circle of clock. During day, laying on your back, under the shade of full grown maple tree you will see the blue sky extending to infinity with only a source of light hanging on it. While during night, laying on the terrace, hands under your head you will find yourself staring at the wonder of another world. The world of night yet so bright and so gay with uncountable numbers of stars twinkling in the same clear sky that held sun on its palm during day time; as if someone had quietly slipped to put glitters during dusk to make your heart give a leap in your life.

You will discover, She is a place… a magical place where Echo is still alive under her loving arms. Here, Achillies and Beowulf live in harmony with fire- breathing dragons. Sita and Ram come here to have their romantic moments once in a while. Here, you can find your wishes made on rocks come alive. She is the one who lets people see God in rocks, shows the footprints of them in hills and water. And yet so secretive with her limestone caves and layers of ancient power hidden under bushes you can never expect what might jump out of it. A roaring tiger may chase you towards your home if you wander too far away or wild boar may show you how to dug the jungle and eat earthworms.

Of all people I should know. I have spent my first 9 years wrapped around her arms. Even after parting with her, I have been spending my days with her in my imagination and dreams. The first thing I ever smelled was her sweet scent on her air that gave me life and encouraged me to open my eyes to see her in her full glory. When I was about 2 minutes old I had cried with full joy by sensing her love for the first time. At 4, holding my brothers hand, I had witnessed secrets deep within her. At 7, I had learned birds’ language and was talking with them sitting comfortably on her rhododendron’s palm. Then after a decade I had gone back to her and she had not changed much; she was still the love of my life.

I really don’t remember when exactly love affair began between us. What I am sure of is that I had realized her love even before I was born, even before I existed. It was just like that…when I had breathed in her for the first time I was totally, deeply and madly in love with her.

Yet I fear. I fear, in the tiny moment of her long life-span, my love seems one sided. If she blinks her eyes during the time when I am with her, she will miss me. She will miss to notice my existence. She will not see I ever existed and loved her till the last breath.

But that realization heightens my love even more because that fear gives me a reason to be by her side in every breath of my life: a reason to live, a reason to love and a reason to die. And even after death takes hold of me I will lay a somber sleep in her lap of intoxicating beauty tasting the ambrosia of her core. Yes, this is my wish: to live my whole life wrapped around her arms, and let my body live forever mixed with her in her garden of Nirvana.

I have come to realize, to understand her you need a little bit of black magic. We all do. A little black magic to belong with her, to understand her mysteries and her secrets behind her smile because her subtle beauty is not like a beauty of Everest: instantaneously impressive but nothing more. This instant impressiveness doesn’t give you enough time to create, to reflect and to live with them. That is why we need a little black magic in our lives to understand her subtle beauty because these mysteries and magic crawl up on us slowly giving us enough time to live, love and appreciate life. Life that is so full of mysteries and secrets revealing itself in right time, with right message and meaning showing each day with a little piece of heaven creating smile on beholder like she does.

This is the reason; She and Life are so much intertwined together. Creating a reason to smile, to live, to love and make you believe that you rightfully belong in her heavenly wings of life’s warmth.

[Note: I was born in Jhumlabang of Morabang VDC, Rukum District of Nepal!]

INSPIRING CHILDREN!!!

2007-12-20T22:14:00.000+05:30

"Last Saturday, I had gone in a usual assignment of my internship to a program corncerning with Children. Before reaching there I had thought, the usual...kind of boring programs that I usually end up to. But, when I sat there for a minute and listened to those amazing children talk so confidently and full of energy I had to think they are the ones who will push our generation to do something and prove themselves as the pillal of future!"

Children urged government to address their agendas in coming CA
POST REPORT
KATHMANDU, DEC 15.

“If the children’s agendas are only limited to the politician’s talks instead of being ensured in coming constituent assembly then the politicians, political parties and government don’t have any relevance,” flaunted children-representatives from around the country here at a program on Saturday.
The program was jointly organized by Consortium of Organizations Working for Child Clubs in capital on Saturday.

A child representative Nigam Humagai from Kavre district said, “If children rights will not be ensured in Constitutional Assembly then political parties or government will be irrelevant to us.” We are not only the future pillars of the country but we are the leaders of today so our issues need to be taken seriously by government and political parties, he added.

In a program, children representatives from 48 districts of the country forwarded twelve-points demands among which declaring schools, child clubs and children related areas a peace zone, preventing the use of children in armed force or spy or any kinds of political activities, and involving children while making plans and agendas related to children are included along with other demands.

In a same occasion, different political parties and representatives of organizations working for children made a joint commitment on their twelve-point demands. Pradip Gyawali, central member of Communist Party Nepal (UML), signing a commitment said that parties need to be more sensitive in children’s issues because due to their age group (below 18) they can not take part in ballet. “It is our responsibility to take their voices in right place to implement them efficiently ensuring their rights,” he said.

Also speaking in a program, Gauri Pradhan of National Human Rights Commission (NHRC) said, “Our political parties are very sensitive towards children issues and easily agree on agendas with promise of implementing them efficiently. However, it is never sure when they are going to implement.” But, NHRC will always keep working along with children to ensure their rights and issues from grass-root level to high level, he added.

After witnessing the commitment by political parties, Sikendra Kumar Ram, a child representative from Mahottari is hopeful. “Almost all political parties of Nepal have signed their commitment along with national and international organizations working for children so I am sure our agendas will be addressed by government soon.”

After the signed commitment from political parties they submitted their 12 points demands to Subash Chandra Nembang, the Speaker of House of Representatives on Saturday.

Maoist Revolution in Reels!

2007-12-10T21:52:00.000+05:30

There was a special premiere show of ‘Laal Salaam’; a movie of Maoist movement in Nepal at BICC in Kathmandu last week. Lets say the movie through the eyes of Maoists: a Maoist perspective!

Started in a kind of documentary style, the movie gives the glimpse of Maoist Movement and how it turned into the civil war in the country.

The whole story of the movie revolves round the starting from Maoist declaration of insurgency as an underground party to the peace talk success to the participation in Jana Andolan I and II demolishing the autocratic rule of the King Gyanendra in 2062/63 B.S. It’s all about their journey from underground party to armed insurgency, then to the place in parliament and constitutional government of Nepal.

It’s also the walk of a woman named Trishta from a simple village girl to the combat fighter in Maoist army. The domination in the society in different names, fighting against it and dying for the believes in better future in the battle field.

In the beginning, you might feel awkward at the romantic dialogues between two lovers just before going to attack a barrack. Might even wonder what the director is doing by putting that dialogue in the movie with so much sweat.

Sometimes it seems it is too much exaggerated and yet has failed to raise enough issues for the declaration of war and is not convincing enough. The movie presentation is also poor. It is cinemascope but the picture quality is very poor and not impressing at all. Dialogues also fail to get much attention and appreciation.

The movie could have been better. In trying to include important events in the movie director has messed up the plot and characters. Characters are not well developed, or presented. Well, artists are not touching enough either. Their acting skill needs to be improved from silver to platinum. They look good only when they are fighting. Though Prabhakar has good story but making it alive in the movie has been like a mistake.

As it is the movie which has hands of the party itself, audience expectations may fly high but you might find yourself disappointed for expecting something really good because till the end you wait for something good to happen which doesn’t. My suggestion, don’t fly too high, it will be crushed like a potato.

However, the very instinct of trying to bring the event/civil war which was so much glorious to many people which changed the history of Nepal and started the new path in the country; is appreciable. It must have been more like a re-living those moments for many Maoists and people who were directly and indirectly involved with it.

The movie has not been able to prove its point strongly and clearly as a revolutionary artist should have as progressive peoples’ expectation. However, you will get some glimpse of the 12 years of civil war so the movie could be worth to watch for some of you movie-lovers.

Wind beneath Wings!

2007-11-29T00:14:00.000+05:30

TEACHERS ARE THOSE WHO USE THEMSELVES AS BRIDGES OVER WHICH THEY INVITE THEIR STUDENTS TO CROSS; THEN HAVING FACILITATED THEIR CROSSING, JOYFULLY COLLAPSE, ENCOURAGING THEM TO CREATE BRIDGES OF THEIR OWN.

- Nicos Kazantzakis

Whenever I read this quotation of Kazantzakis, I remember how much I depended upon my teachers and still depend on them for most of the knowledge I have and try to achieve. I remember my teachers who are so much supporting, inspiring and always encouraging us to move forward and give a power to dream and hope for the best. They are so much dedicated in what they do. Lucky me… I have living heroes in my life! They have been and they are wind beneath my wings!!

However, not everyone is lucky!!!

During this Deusi-Bhailo Program in Tihar, I met with Sak Bahadur Magar, to whom I adoringly call “dai” as he makes me feel like his younger sister. He is a teacher by profession and yet a student himself doing his master level in the same college of mine. I don’t know how but during the loud celebration of Tihar we end up talking about serious subject.

I had genuinely told him how tough it is to be a ‘Teacher’ and taking the responsibility of being teacher. I had told him at that time and I still think I am not ready for that role yet and I am not sure if I can take that responsibility of being Teacher to the coming generation even in the future.

In our culture, Guru (teacher) has been put above our own parents and worshipped as a god from its origin. They are the source of knowledge. They are heroes in their students’ eyes. During the growing up, a child spends more time with his teachers than with his own parents now days so it is for sure that they depend upon their teacher wholly. If there is conflict between the sayings of our own parents and teachers, we believe in our teachers than to our parents. This also shows how important role teachers play in child’s development and in shaping the child’s mind for life long. How the child turns in the future depends also on the teacher who taught him. So, if the teacher takes the responsibility by heart then students are in good hands but if it is taken lightly, one teacher can damage the whole future of students.

Today, the subject matter came again when Jayaram Lamsal, one of my classmates talked about his teacher in college (+2) who had said “If you (Jayaram) were good-enough then you would have taken Science instead of Humanities faculty.” The teacher used to teach English to both science and humanities faculty. This shows how humanities faculty (art and social science) and its students are looked down by our society, even the teacher who teaches the same subject. As well, my friend got discouraged by that teacher with that kind of insulting comment for following his dream and his interest.

Same way, my brother Ajay was told by his one teacher that he should change his subject to Commerce as he thought Ajay was incompetent to study Science. Of course my brother was shocked and hurt by that (I had seen it in his eyes while he told me about it). But, he took it as a challenge as I knew my brother would. Now, he is one of the toppers in his class and already working in projects as an Architect. Therefore, I am sure, no matter how painful the comment was for my friend Jayaram too; he will take it as a challenge rather than being frustrated and believing in what a ‘so-called teacher’ had said to him because no genuine teacher would have told such things to his own student.

At the end, all I want to say to those who are teachers just by name/status is that: If you can not encourage your students to do their best in their dreams; at least; please do not discourage them! If you are not able to use yourself as bridge and can not bring yourself to encourage your students to create bridges of their own, the least you can do for taking the responsibility of being teacher to them is not to discourage those students who want to create bridges by themselves. That will be the noble act of anyone for taking the responsibility of teacher while not actually being ‘Teacher’ as an innocent eye of learning hearts sees.

Never forget, teachers are wind beneath their students’ wings. This fact should not be forgotten by anyone when becoming teacher and while taking the responsibility of being Teacher.

Quiet Kathmandu!

2007-10-27T05:31:00.000+05:30

Of course, we had to celebrate this Dashain too with no water, no gas and no petrol as usual. But this time there was more to it. Something new got added. Good or bad? Hard to say anything yet but the festive season made Kathmandu very quiet!

So quiet that it felt like an ancient Kathmandu has revealed itself once again to make us see what a beautiful city it is…quiet, calm and far from the maddening crowd. With half of the population of the city gone to celebrate Dashain in their own countryside home it was hard to find any shops opened, had to walk miles to find another soul walking in the road and with very few vehicles running, no traffic, no horns and no pollution, Kathmandu felt like not-Kathmandu.

Usually our capital city Kathmandu means centralized economy, centralized population and centralized government of the country. It is the most crowded place, talk about pollution and you end up finding every kind of pollution discovered in the world and something more on it. There is shortage of everything in all seasons of the year. And yet we are so used to the life in it that it feels weird when it is quiet, calm and less polluted.

But who knows, quietness could have different faces!

At the time when I was being frightened with its quietness and the loneliness; and when every Nepali were busy with their celebration mood for the festival our government had the flashback. As history proves, from the takeover of Bhaktapur city by Prithvi Narayan Shah that in festive mood, Nepali can accept things that are not usually accepted in the usual times without a rage shown in streets. The idea was re-discovered six years ago by then King Gyanendra by declaring his son Paras as a Crown Prince during this same festive season. As expected, people did not protest it much as it would have been if it was in other usual times. So, the present government which is said to be formed out of the great people's movement in 2006 but in actual was born out of ruined womb of monarchism (more conformed after the Prime Minister's shown love towards King in very diplomatic words clearly declaring his views of Nepalese public as IDIOTS!) followed the same idea what Gyanendra had re-discovered and made full use of it.

The result - price hiking of petrol, lubricants and gas!

Of course this was done very quietly when Kathmandu is still very quiet.

My salutations to our Government! Though it can not come up with own ideas it very smartly follows other's ideas. All of my appreciations! But, as the good and loyal citizen I must say though the idea of using the quietness and celebration mood of the festival is highly appreciable, Quietness and Calmness is NOT always good. Every one of us has heard about the calmness felt in air before storm comes. If anybody does not agree with this saying; don't go too far for example, just look at the fate of Monarchism in our country.

It is still quiet here in Kathmandu so the finale result has not come yet. Wait till festive season is over and also let every youths come back to Kathmandu valley. Then the finale result of this quietness we are feeling right now will erupt, in what form it is hard to say.

But, mark my words, please! Finale result is yet to come and frighteningly it seems it is not going to be very good sight!!!

Congratulating Prashant!

2007-09-24T03:25:00.000+05:30

Since nearly one and half decades of my life in capital city, this is the second time I have been awakened by Kathmanduties from my deep sleep at this hour of the night. The first one was during the People’s revolution of 2006, when the whole Kathmanduties rallied whole night to protest against King Gyanendra. The second one is going on right now in the celebration of Prashant Tamang’s victory in singing competition on the program “Indian Idol”: a Sony TV reality show!

Prashant Tamang was declared Indian Idol – 3 on Sunday night after getting more votes than other finalist Amit Paul of Shillong from the total votes of 7 crores.

Now, it is exactly 2:30 in the morning and I am hearing slogans like “Prashant Jindabad!” (Long Live Prashant!). People are on the road shouting slogans, whistling, hooting and there are fireworks! The craze for New Indian Idol is going on even in Kathmandu, I can hardly imagine what must be going on in Darjeeling from where Prashant is. As I saw in televisions, Darjeeling’s people were on the street as well for celebration rally…the environment of there seemed ecstatic.

We can’t deny the fact that in this Indian Idol competition, Nepalese took more interest than other two previous competitions simply because Prashant Tamang; an Indian soldier, is from Darjeeling and is also from Nepali origin. Many people who are Indian but were originally from Nepal supported him and even did campaigns to support him and eventually made him Indian Idol through SMS voting.

Anyway, what I found the most remarkable and beautiful thing about this particular Indian Idol competition was friendship between these two finalists. Prashant Tamang and Amit Paul of Shillong never let the stress of the competition come between their friendships. I never felt any hint of neither jealousy nor competition between them which definitely stood them apart from previous Indian Idol finalists. We could feel the bond of friendship between these guys; the way they supported each other and accepted each others victory with smiles that is very hard to see in this era of competition.

Now, My CONGRATULATIONS to Prashant Tamang and wishes for his bright future. Also, all my praises for Amit Paul who is very talented, very good looking and with down to earth personality. I believe that even without the title of Indian Idol on his head, one day he will be one of the most famous singers of India with his potentiality and personality. Good luck to both of you!!!

Here, the celebration is still going! And I can assure you that Kathmanduties are desperately waiting for Prashant to hear him sing. But, they don’t have to wait for long as he is going to give numbers of concerts in valley with his other Indian Idol competitors from coming 29th of September. Everyone (especially Youths) from valley is eagerly looking forward to those days! The slogans that I can still hear outside my window conforms it all!

Blatant Terrorism!

2007-09-05T01:00:00.000+05:30

Last Sunday (September 2) terror struck Kathmandu valley people when series of bomb blasts hit the capital city killing two and injuring 22 people.

That day I was in home, having a quite day! Then, I heard about the news in television which shook me with terror. As a regular user of public vehicles, at the same time I felt myself lucky not to be in those places where those unfortunate events took place.

Though when I had heard the news for the first time I had felt fear, insecurity with lots of dilemma about the incidents. Felt sorry for those who became victims of this blatant terrorism! But, right now as I am writing this I feel the anger rising up in me. Anger: at those people who in the name of political revolutions are killing innocent people, at government for not being able to give enough security to public and then at myself for not being able to do anything about it.

I know there has been a foul play, one reason for saying this is because 3 different groups from Terai region have claimed the responsibility for bombings. Even a child will know it could have never been done by 3 different groups from the way attack was planned. Planner and doer is someone else and responsibility is taken by another person just like the “so-called” driver took responsibility of killing famous lyricist Pravin Gurung on road accident while actually the person who run-over Gurung was Paras, then Prince of Kingdom of Nepal.

At the moment I am feeling pity and anger at those people who did and took responsibilities of violence. In my opinion, they are coward people without dignity. They are shameless people who are happy to announce the murdering of innocent peoples. I am sure; they will feel the burden of curses and tears from the victims’ family and relatives before they go to more excruciating place than hell if there is any.

At the same time, I have to say what everyone is saying and seeing; the interim government is also not as effective as it should be. Just by this incident we know how the security system it is giving. Not being able to find clue about things shows its weakness. Moreover, looking at the slow pace of its investigations and government not giving it a serious thought and action on time makes me prepare for not being surprised if this government fails in its responsibilities like conducting Constitutional Assembly Poll on its deadline.

Looking at this all…looking at my country’s situation and observing the today’s world with my eyes, I am angry at myself! I know things that are unfair but I can do nothing about it the same way I could do nothing in these bombings to stop it or heal a wounded heart of victims family. I pity myself on my helplessness. Neither can I do something nor can I close my eyes not to see things that are unfair and unjust to my understandings!

Man of Difference!

2007-09-01T02:01:00.000+05:30

On August 1st we Nepalese felt proud of being Nepali, Mahabir Pun made us proud!

This year’s one of the winners of Ramon Magsaysay Award for Community Leadership was Mahabir Pun. He won the award for his innovative application of wireless computer technology in Nepal, bringing progress to the remote mountain, connecting Nangi village to the global village.

Not wanting to work under the American lifestyle he had returned home from USA a decade ago to live his life in his country. He tried to do different things like yak-rearing, chicken farm but didn’t succeed on it like he wanted. Finally he came with the idea of wireless computer technology in Nangi village and with the help of some foreign volunteers and his contacts he succeeded in fulfilling his dream of joining this remote village with world which also earned him the Magsaysay award of this year.

After winning this award, he became center of media. Most of the daily newspapers of Nepal covered this news with banner headlines, he was interviewed in most of the electronic media and there was talk about his struggle and success. Within days, he became the house-hold name in society. For his success he was felicitated in many different programs from different organizations and community. As he is from Magar community as well, the community took his success like its own and organized different programs to congratulate him.

In felicitation programs, I was surprised to see our Ramon Magsaysay winner. He was nothing like we would normally expect to see. It was felicitation program for him so I had thought he would appear in formal dress. But, he was there in his slippers and something like a jogging dress! I found him very simple, man of few words and shy…and obviously the person who does things without caring what others say. We can assume him as a man who prefers to do things with his own ideas, process and on his own time. He said,” I didn’t do anything new; I just used the thing differently that was already invented by someone else. Like Coca-Cola industry did by adding “something” in solution of sugar and water to make Coke. We don’t need to invent new thing…they are already discovered by on or two already so what we can do is use that discovered thing differently!”

When I go to any kinds of program, usually I find most of the speakers/leaders if asked to say few words on something…they will forget that “something” and go on babbling about “You know I did this and I did that…blah…blah…” There are so many people with only words, no action! And there was Pun who says “well, I am glad to win the prize but I am not excited. I always worked as if I had duties to carry out. I was not doing anything by expecting any award!” I remember one of his interview in local FM radio where he was accused of not appreciating enough for the award he got by some audience.

Over all, when I observed him, the way Nepali people and media jumped with the pride at his success…to me it seemed he was wondering What all this fuss was about! May be that was the reason for him saying, “well, the way media is saying things about me…coming back to Nepal leaving all the facilities and good life opportunities in USA as my greatness, I don’t think it as so. It was my self-interest to be back home, I preferred to be home than in America, I don’t see anything greatness in it!”

Yup, he is surely a man of difference!

Rakshya Bandhan

2007-08-29T01:57:00.000+05:30

Today is Rakshya Bandhan (Protection-Bond) day. Whole day whichever channel I switched to there were programs on the importance of this day. Indian TV-serials were continuously broadcasting about the celebration of festival by showing the affection between brothers and sisters. The festival that celebrates the bond between brothers and sisters…Every year, sister ties a kind of decorated thread on her brother’s hand to make sure that her brother is safe from every evil thing. This also gives responsibility to a brother to look after his sister, protect her from any danger that might come on her way. A day that is celebrated to mark the protecting relationship of siblings, is not of my Magar community so is not celebrated by us. I had not even heard of it till I had come to the capital of my country. But, we too have other festivals that celebrate the bond of siblings! Therefore, this day which is celebrated in the same theme of my culture’s festival “Maghe-Sankrati” brought back my memories with my brothers and I missed them!

I have always considered myself as a lucky person because I am blessed with three big brothers and they are the greatest brothers of the world! They have named me with their fevourite TV serials characters so I have more than five names. They baby-sat me and carried me on their back. Brushed my hair, even did my laundry. They were there to hold my hands when I was just learning to walk for the first time. They were there to teach me speak my first word then they were there to teach me how to write my first word. From the moment of my birth they have been there for me…holding my hands and giving their tremendous strength, encouragement and support for me to walk in my life with dignity, dream and direction!

Thank you brothers, for being there for me, always!

(P.S. Tholo da, Mahila da and Aju as you all are geographically far away from me right now I miss you all. It would have been great if we were all in one place and had verities of greatly cooked food by our angel bhauju with jokes and chit-chat that we used to have. Also on this day, I want to say how much I Love You and How lucky I feel to be born as your sister. I am proud of myself to be your sister. Thank you so much for being my brothers and loving me as you do!)

DANCING COMDRATES!

2007-06-15T23:37:00.000+05:30

Today is going to be one of my most memorable days in life. Three day long "Bhumya Puja" or "Bal Puja" (worshipping the Earth) of Rukum-Rolpa Magar community has started so 4 top-maoists leaders from Magar community- Badal, Suresh Ale Magar, Ananta and Pasang were there. It was my first time that I had meet Badal and had a small chat...well, it was something, a feeling of joy! It was great!! :)

But what took me by total surprise is when they started dancing "Bal Dance"! I couldn't believe it with my eyes. I was even more surprised when they were dancing as if it was their profession....so comfortable with dancing! Well may be it is because when I think of dancing I have cold sweat!

Okey, now enough of my chit-chat, let me introduce our dancers! On the topmost; he is our Member of Parliament Mr. Santosh Budha Magar. Then on right side there are Pasang, Journalist Ujir Magar and Magar Youth Leader Jhakendra Gharti and on left side there are Suresh Ale and Pasang . Then further down on right side there is our Badal...enjoying! and on left side Suresh Ale in dance-action! Now the last one is...when they got tired they took short break before they started dancing again! They are Badal, Ananta, Suresh Ale and Jhakendra. They look just Magar with "pheta" on their head, all "not so tall", all with that mongolian nose...short and small, small eyes and of course look at them...all look so healthy; makes us know that Goddess Demeter loves them!

My fevourites were Suresh Ale and Santosh Budha. They were just great!! Should not be missed if you want something memorable in your life. I can guarantee that!!!

Students' Future Under Cloud!

2007-05-27T11:43:00.001+05:30

In the same season of last year, I remember; a dozen of young girls in school dress were laughing and whispering to each-other at the backside of the Khulamanch where Maoist’s ‘Victory Mass Meeting’ was going on. On background we could hear one of the representatives of Maoists Women Association giving speech to the huge mass gathering. However, the girls didn’t seem noticing.

When I had approached them, they had looked at me with those innocent but curious eyes.

After talking to them I had come to know that they were there to participate in the mass meeting.

One of the girls, Ramila Maharjan studying in grade 9 in Shree Sharaswati Higher Secondary School, Thochu, Lalitpur had told that she was happy at the success of peace talk and was hopeful that there will be a peace in the country. She had also added that, with the new crack of dawn in the politics of the country there will be changes in the school policy as strikes and bandhs has ruined the life of students.

That was the hope of not only Ramila but of every students of this country when peace talk was success between Maoists and the contemporary government last year. However, that was the hope of last year! It was THEN, it is NOW! Now, when I look around I don’t know what Ramila and other whole students are thinking, wishing, hoping or praying for at this moment. I don’t know about them but, I am disappointed and frustrated! I regret for Hoping. Especially right now!

Today, there is a Kathmandu Valley bandh called by agitating ‘teachers and students’ unions - Educational Republic Forum (ERF) and All Nepal National Independent Students Union-Revolutionary (ANNISU-R). The strike is against the lathicharge on the protesting teachers and students outside the Ministry of Education in Kathmandu on Friday that left about 80 teachers seriously injured.

It has been more than a week that schools and higher secondary schools have been closed by agitating teachers and students who are protesting against the problems of private school charging hefty fees, and are also demanding in the rise of teachers’ salary with facilities. There was a call for dialogue from government but after Friday’s incident it is under cloud. If something is not done to solve the problem sooner then students’ life will be under thicker and darker cloud in coming days than it is now, it is for sure!

Wounds yet to Heal!

2007-05-25T05:44:00.000+05:30

When her name was called she had slowly stood up and with tears rolling down her face had told “My daughter should have been alive.” Her daughter was tortured to death by Army after a group rape in army detention camp (2004). She was just 14 years old and was studying in nine grades.

Last year, Devi Sunuwar, mother of victimized Maina Sunuwar had come in the program organized by the Amnesty International Nepal on the occasion to celebrate 6th Anniversary of the UN Resolution 1325 on Women, Peace and Security. When she had started her heart breaking story about loosing an innocent daughter, whole hall had fallen into silence and there was not a single face that didn't go through the same pain, fear and anger of Sunuwar. I was not the exceptional one in that group of people.

I experienced and saw the same expression on participants' face last week when watching a documentary "Dwanda Ra Balatkar: Shesh Smriti" (Conflict and Rape: A Relic) based on the stories of victimized women from both parties; government (army) and Maoists rebels in 12 years of Maoist movement in the country.

In these 12 years of civil war, we saw different faces of conflict and decadence of humanism. More than 13,000 people lost their life and almost everyone lost their loved ones and relatives. Pain of losing loved ones was one side of the war on the other side was the suffering that women and children had to go through. Like in every war of the human history, in this war too women were the most victimized compared to others. Some of them were group raped when they had gone to jungle for timber and grass, some were raped and physically tortured in the name of rebel or government spy and some were raped and kicked with boots infront of their family even infront of their husband. Whether they are Sarita, Kajal, Sita or Radha they all went through same pain- group rape and physical torture from both parties. Some lost their lives, some lost their reasoning power, and some regained their unconscious state after months of sickness and yet are afraid to speak about it due to the fear of being punished by involved parties and also outcast by the society. Devi Khadka, Maoist rebel (now she is a member of House of Representatives) was raped by army in detention center, through her story we came to know rape was even used as one of the war strategies. Numbers of women were abducted by Maoists too who were also sexually abused and used as sex-satisfying objects in their camps. Therefore, when I saw the documentary I strongly came to realize that this war is painted with tears and blood of innocent women.

New dawn in the country came with the success of Jana-Andolan I and II in 2006, peace-talk was a success and there was a hope of human rights being restored. People believed that persons responsible for tortures and murder will be punished and they will get justice. But, it seems our hopes will just remain hopes and nothing more as I read in the Kantipur daily on Monday (May 21) that about 35 police and army alleged of abuse and murders by Raimajhi Committee were just given punishment of 2 years without promotion by government.

If people alleged with murder, rape are out of the allegation this easily I will not be surprised at all when victimized people's families take states law in their hand to punish the guilty ones. We all know how "catharsis" works!

MY FIRST STEP!

2007-03-24T10:34:00.000+05:30

16th Friday'07, it was a day of excitement, a day of expectations and a day for search of lots of unanswered questions. For a girl that hardly dares to leave the lovingly-protected familiar surroundings - it was a challenge! But, as I am also a lover of challenges I accepted that challenge and kept that part of "ME" tightly locked in the house who always wants to be under the wings of family protection. My family supported my decision as I think they knew I was finally ready to see what life has kept for me. So, that day I prepared myself to take my first step towards my career as a Journalist.

Early morning, around 5:30 my brother Ajay dropped me at Ratnapark where a bus that would take me to Hetauda was waiting. As I was earlier than other participants I got chance to make myself comfortable in a nice seat. While I was sitting there I went through the program schedule of my visit. Program was to attend the Annual Meeting of Nepal Magar Students Association which was starting at 10 am of that day and was supposed to end next day afternoon so that we would be back to Kathmandu by Saturday night. I also had made my own plans about what I will be doing while I was attending the program. To carryout my plans I was fully prepared (really?); a camera to capture the event, a notebook and many pens and pencils to jot down about the program, quotations of speakers and decisions made by organizers; some papers and a book to read on the bus and finally my bag contained something which was not totally a journalistic equipments and that was my Magar dress! I smiled at my preparation and made my mind to make good use of everything that was in my bag.

When bus finally started moving around 7 o'clock I took a deep breath and wondered what experiences I will be gathering in Hetauda. They say journalists have a sense of knowing things before it really happens. Well, to tell you the truth, I couldn't think of anything, my head was totally blank. I had no idea what happens in the annual meetings of students as it was the first time I was participating in such programs. Moreover, it was my first visit to Hetauda which also worked as a banning agent to my assumptions and imaginations. So, what was happening next was a total mystery for me. This heightened the feeling of adventure in me and at the same time made me think if I have enough qualities to be a good journalist. You must be wondering why I am questioning myself on my chosen career. Don't worry, when you finish reading this article you will know why.

It was a big bus and was carrying more than 100 Magar students including me, of course! When I looked around in the seats of a bus I saw some familiar faces in the crowd of total strangers. There were also some girls who were as strangers to me as others were. Though they were total strangers I felt as if I knew them, as if they were close relatives. Here, I need to say one thing, I am not a racist and I can't know what other will think when I say I definitely feel comfortable to be around my community rather than in another community just the way I feel unthreatened when I am with my family from other people. I will never take loving my family more than my neighbor as being racist or indifferent to my neighbor. I take it as a human nature, to want to be in a place where you think you belong. I also take it as a kind of existential crisis. Everyone is in search of owns identity and it is easier to find that in the community which is familiar to you. Wanting to belong somewhere is a social nature of human. And it is undoubtedly easier for the person to have a feeling of belonging in the community which brought him/her up. So, not feeling them as strangers though I had never met them before was not me being racist instead it was a feeling of commonness as we share more or less similar kind of cultural values. So, I don't feel guilty about my feelings of belonging there. I have to respect myself to respect others. Same way, to respect the world I have to respect my country and to respect my country I have to respect my society and my community. If only I can love myself I will be able to love others. And I believe, loving oneself more is not being selfish; we just have to keep in mind that when loving oneself more it doesn’t make us hate others and indifferent to others existence…now, where was I? Ohh…I was in bus introducing myself with other Magar students. After introduction with others, Mahesh dai to whom I have known for about 2 years, who is a singer as well as a poet and song-writer came to sit next to me. He was also going as a journalist/photographer to Hetauda. We updated about ourselves and talked about everything. When we had started talking I had thought we would not be able to discuss lots of things and get chance to ask some of my important questions about the meeting. But, when I had finished my every queries I was surprised to find out after 2 hours of leaving Ratnapark we had not even passed the Thankot. While talking I had not even realized we were in traffic jam! I can't believe myself how I can want and believe to be a future good journalist when I forget to see what's happening around.

As it was also a Shivaratri we were stopped from place to place with rope on road by children and youth to ask for money; a kind of charity. As I recall it, we were at least stopped in 20 places by them which was the reason for us to reach Hetauda around 3 pm. As we were students we didn't give any money to any groups instead I noticed some guys teasing the girls who were stopping us for donation. In the bus I also happen to enjoy the live Dohori competition between girls and boys. They had good voice and their theme of the song was very funny for me as they were flirting with each other through song. It was lots of enjoyment. However, I didn't stay awake enough to enjoy it fully. When bus had started I had felt my stomach not in so jolly mood which of course effected my head and I felt sick as soon as bus started to move in full speed. So, to stop from the churning headache I closed my eyes and tried to sleep which I eventually did. It helped me from stopping to throw-up. When I woke up fully, I was in Hetauda, still feeling sleepy. This sleepiness and sickness habit of me made me miss beautiful sceneries on the way which is another habit I would love to kick out of me!

After everyone got out of bus we prepared for rally and within some time we were marching towards our destiny…the stage where our program was going on. When we entered the gate everyone turned their heads towards us and welcomed us with applause. I smiled and bowed my head before rushing to take pictures of speakers in the program. With other journalists and photographers; I was there standing infront of the people and trying to get the good picture of everyone and everything that I felt would give some news sense. I was clicking pictures when Mahesh dai came to me and said he had not had lunch that day which made me feel very hungry myself as I realized I also had had nothing. So, around 5 o’clock we went outside and had some shale-roti and tea. That was our breakfast, lunch and snacks of that day! When we returned to the program from tea-house it was already dark and program was coming to end. I clicked some pictures and we were led to OM CHALACHITRA GHAR by volunteers where continuation of program was to take place.

Around 7 o’clock, the entertainment program started. Magar dances were performed by the participants and organizers along with songs, jokes and music. It was very enjoyable! After we were fed by fun we were offered food which definitely tasted real good though rice was half-cooked, dal was too salty and curry was too little. After dinner at 12 o’clock our program “Banda-Shatra” started. Central Committee Members along with President Bhojbikram Budha Magar sat on the stage while representatives and participants sat in chair with eyes half closed and yawning at least two times in every five minutes. We; photographers and journalists stood between stage and audience-chair to click pictures of both side easily. There were specially four people to click pictures :- Mahesh dai, Chhabi dai, Padam dai and me. We made plans to check everyone in every corner to click pictures of those who slept most funnily. It was the game to keep ourselves awake. We would click pictures and show each-other and have a great laugh between ourselves. The plan worked well. Our President was in the center of the stage and after 5 minutes of the program had started I noticed something which made me smile. He was dozing and if nothing will be done by nobody I was sure he would find himself flat on floor with his face down. As I saw no one was ready to do anything I went for his rescue. I took my weapon with me: my camera and with sign language told to the person sitting next to him to push him a little so that I could take picture of him. The person understood and did as I had asked so when our President opened his eyes, right at that time my camera flashed…Click! Later when I saw the picture, our president was as confused as a newly baby is when it suddenly sees light for the first time. My group had good laugh and it helped us to stay awake for a minute longer.

The night was so cold, at first taking a nap in the chair was impossible for me. But, around 3:30 in morning when annual report from Central Committee was being presented my leg sent me a secret signal that it can stand no longer so I went to sit next to Mahesh dai who was taking rest for his eyes as well as his legs and camera. After 5 minutes of rest my eyes must have got jealous of my legs as they would not open when I tried to. It was impossible for me to read the report and next thing I realized was my ear also started to send me the sound as if it was from far-far away while the big volume-box was just in front of me. Everything felt useless at that moment so I gave myself to the Goddess of sleep with a big yawn. When I woke up I looked at my watch and found it was already quarter to 4. Stretching myself in chair I looked at the places where my friends were standing to click pictures before I took a nap. I didn’t see them so I turned my head here and there and gave a laugh when I saw them all asleep in chairs next to mine. They were sleeping in such a pathetic and laughable style that I was about to take their pictures but they awoke before I could succeed at my plan. Wide awake we got ready for our job again till the program ended at 7 am. I came out of the cinema hall to wash my face and brush my teeth. As I had no toothpaste I went to buy one and brushed in the water from tank along with some other participants. Still I did not feel fresh…I was drowsy, tired and about to collapse. At this time I understood the meaning of my teachers sentence “Journalist’s life is a life of a dog! 24 hours job and not a career for the house-dolls!” Well said! But hey, I don’t want to be a house-doll and I am not going to be the one!!

As we had finished our program earlier than expected we hit the road around 9 am for Kathmandu after we had our breakfast. Everyone slept in the bus as soon as they were in seat, of course excluding the driver, helper and ME! I really wanted to sleep but due to the girls problem (monthly periods) my stomach and back started paining so hard that I could not breath well. That made me stand mostly the half way home. It was painful and I felt nature has really done injustice to women. But what to do? It is a real problem but then life will lose its value if there is no struggle, no pain and no obstacles in the way. And we need to be prepared to face anything as my brothers tell me. From this time I am going to be ready, prepared for these things so that they won’t make me weak to go for my destiny, my dream and my aim.

So, this was my first visit to Hetauda and to that kind of program. It was one of the great experience of my life. When I came back from the Hetauda I felt I knew more about myself. I got lots of ideas about how my life will be in future. And most of all, I met many people from around the country, listened to their ideas, their opinion, their perspectives of looking at the things and shared mine too. What can I ask for more when I got something that is going to shape my future. These experiences and information have given me a treasure-box where I am going to add more of my coming days experiences to make it full so that I can be what I am planning to be in coming days by utilizing these treasures. I know I don’t have enough qualities of a good journalist right now but this kind of experiences are going to be my base, my root which will give me enough strength in the future to be what I have always dreamed of - a good journalist.

Thanks to those who are helping me to realize my dream, my destiny and are always by my side to support me in every step that I have been taking since I was born!!