MIZPAH

This Hebrew word is a noun. It means ‘the deep emotional relationship between people, especially those separated by distance or death’.

When I found this word, today, I was finally able to express my thoughts of how I see relationships in a word. Definitely, it made me really happy.

I love learning. Anything. Tiny things. Infinite things. Everything. So, I always look for new words to learn. It is not every day that I come across the word which takes hold of my heart. Hence, when I found Mizpah in a Facebook, the day became special. Because, the word made me think. And, thinking is something I enjoy the most. It makes me feel alive.

This word. This single word gave me energy to connect myself with loved ones and analyse how I assess my relationships with them. I have always told my family, my closest friends and relatives how ‘I carry them in my heart’ [quoting e. e. Cummings] meaning geography, time and space, hardly matters to me.

So, I hardly feel lonely. I always feel that wherever they are, how far physically they might be, emotionally they are always with me. And, I am with them. This feeling of ‘being together’ keeps me strong and gives confidence to look forward in life.

While this idea of ‘togetherness’ might seem naïve and even in denial of reality to some, for me, it is the best way to deal with it. The reality or the truth of the life is that no one is going to be with you, forever. Nor you can be for them. Different situations and circumstances, choices, inevitable truths will take you away (physically) from your loved ones. But, does the separation, distance or death stops us from having the deepest emotional relationship with our loved ones? I doubt. When you are emotionally very close with someone time and space hardly seems to matter. Even death doesn't take away the feeling you have for the deceased one, does it?

We just get used to live without them, carrying our emotions that have converted themselves into fond memories, pining for them or pain at losing them. But, we always have them in our heart. We are always connected with them, emotionally.

This argument or idea or thought process is closer to me. I strongly believe in it. Maybe because I am an Aries. As an enthusiast of Astrology, I had read somewhere that Aries women are the ones who can live their life, happily, if they know that there is someone somewhere in the world whom they love or care about. For many, it might not feel very practical way to live life but I have realized with my little experience that emotions are all we need to have a happy life. The feeling of being connected to someone deep within the heart is what fulfils us and our life with happiness.

So, this is for Mizpah, the word, that speaks volumes on human emotions.   

The Lake

In the midst of bullets being fired, 
bloods being shed
found myself by the lake
sitting on the rock
setting sun 
warming
my bare back.
(I am daring, just like that!)

by Sarah Kay

"PAWS" 

The third time your plane is delayed,

your voice on the phone has melted to a whimper.

I don’t know when we’ll take off,

you say. I’m going back to the desk to ask.

All day, you have been sending me text messages

of puppy love. I can’t wait to kiss you.

I miss the nook of your neck. How strange,

that when you are away, I reach for my

cell phone’s buzz as if it were your hand.

Each shiver in my pocket, a way to find you.

I will see you soon, Love, this morning’s text promised.

And yet now it is night, and you are still lost

in an airport somewhere in Florida, and I am still here,

trying to comfort you through this phone.

I’m okay, you promise. I just wish I was home.

You sigh into the speaker. The static crackles.

In November, a doctor put your dog to sleep.

You didn’t tell me it had happened for the whole day,

because you didn’t want me to worry or be upset.

I didn’t find out until your parents told me, and I reached

for your hand, not knowing what else to do.

I have never had a pet, I do not know this kind of loss.

The quiet of our kitchen does not sound empty to me,

I cannot hear the missing padding of paws on tiles,

the missing pant and rumble of her belly. But the first few times

you came home that week, I did see the way you opened

the front door: the extra moment you waited, the way

your shoulders sank. She was old, you told me.

She din’t get around like she used to. She didn’t

even jumped up when people came in, didn’t run to

bark and greet me at the door. But she was here.

At least I knew she would be here when I got home.

Recently, there have been more airports for the both

of us. Different suitcases and baggage claims, different

time zones and phone calls. My friends roll their eyes

at me when we are out to coffee, and I keep jumping

for my phone. We know, they say. You “have to take

this.” I apologize, excuse myself, check to see that

you are there. Nobody else notices how naked my

hands look. Nobody else thinks the space between

my chin and shoulder seems oddly empty. But I know

what this should feel like. I know what is missing.

At least the buzz of my cell phone fills the quiet.

For now, it will have to do. Until it can be replaced

by the sound of your padding feet and heavy breath,

by the sight of you in the doorway, exhausted and worn,

but finally, finally home.

by Alice Walker

It is true--
I've always loved
the daring
ones
Like the black young
man
Who tried
to crash
All barriers
at once,
wanted to
swim
At a white
beach (in Alabama)
Nude.

for my friend.

Asmi,
You have taught me right.
taught me well.

Life is more,
than living.

That happiness,
is in giving.

That knowledge,
is in sharing.

My friend,
You have taught me well.
You have taught me right.

BE A MAN!!!

...I ask him,
"How difficult is it to be a Man?"
in this society,
in this time.
he looks surprised,
unprepared.
I tell him,
"No, really?"
I am serious.
I wanna know.
is it difficult for you ?
to fit in the box
as it is for me...

To the soldier.

In a far-far land

of sand and sun

amidst the fired bullets

and falling bombs;

you tremble.

Not of fear

But the cold

That runs through your spine

turning once warm eyes

into icy cold.

And it can’t hold.

the humanity:

that writhes in you

breathes

it’s last.

you drift to abyss.

embracing

death and dying

mixing

blood and sweat

burying

love and hate.

and when all cries and noises

turn into a dreadful silence!

You,

A winner; surrenders!

dripping in others blood

trying to crawl away

from an oblivion.

at that moment,

As you reach for your scruples    

in that far-far land

of sun and the sand,

here

I twist and turn

To fit into the jigsaw puzzle

Of your battered confusion.