16th Friday'07, it was a day of excitement, a day of expectations and a day for search of lots of unanswered questions. For a girl that hardly dares to leave the lovingly-protected familiar surroundings - it was a challenge! But, as I am also a lover of challenges I accepted that challenge and kept that part of "ME" tightly locked in the house who always wants to be under the wings of family protection. My family supported my decision as I think they knew I was finally ready to see what life has kept for me. So, that day I prepared myself to take my first step towards my career as a Journalist.
Early morning, around 5:30 my brother Ajay dropped me at Ratnapark where a bus that would take me to Hetauda was waiting. As I was earlier than other participants I got chance to make myself comfortable in a nice seat. While I was sitting there I went through the program schedule of my visit. Program was to attend the Annual Meeting of Nepal Magar Students Association which was starting at 10 am of that day and was supposed to end next day afternoon so that we would be back to Kathmandu by Saturday night. I also had made my own plans about what I will be doing while I was attending the program. To carryout my plans I was fully prepared (really?); a camera to capture the event, a notebook and many pens and pencils to jot down about the program, quotations of speakers and decisions made by organizers; some papers and a book to read on the bus and finally my bag contained something which was not totally a journalistic equipments and that was my Magar dress! I smiled at my preparation and made my mind to make good use of everything that was in my bag.
When bus finally started moving around 7 o'clock I took a deep breath and wondered what experiences I will be gathering in Hetauda. They say journalists have a sense of knowing things before it really happens. Well, to tell you the truth, I couldn't think of anything, my head was totally blank. I had no idea what happens in the annual meetings of students as it was the first time I was participating in such programs. Moreover, it was my first visit to Hetauda which also worked as a banning agent to my assumptions and imaginations. So, what was happening next was a total mystery for me. This heightened the feeling of adventure in me and at the same time made me think if I have enough qualities to be a good journalist. You must be wondering why I am questioning myself on my chosen career. Don't worry, when you finish reading this article you will know why.
It was a big bus and was carrying more than 100 Magar students including me, of course! When I looked around in the seats of a bus I saw some familiar faces in the crowd of total strangers. There were also some girls who were as strangers to me as others were. Though they were total strangers I felt as if I knew them, as if they were close relatives. Here, I need to say one thing, I am not a racist and I can't know what other will think when I say I definitely feel comfortable to be around my community rather than in another community just the way I feel unthreatened when I am with my family from other people. I will never take loving my family more than my neighbor as being racist or indifferent to my neighbor. I take it as a human nature, to want to be in a place where you think you belong. I also take it as a kind of existential crisis. Everyone is in search of owns identity and it is easier to find that in the community which is familiar to you. Wanting to belong somewhere is a social nature of human. And it is undoubtedly easier for the person to have a feeling of belonging in the community which brought him/her up. So, not feeling them as strangers though I had never met them before was not me being racist instead it was a feeling of commonness as we share more or less similar kind of cultural values. So, I don't feel guilty about my feelings of belonging there. I have to respect myself to respect others. Same way, to respect the world I have to respect my country and to respect my country I have to respect my society and my community. If only I can love myself I will be able to love others. And I believe, loving oneself more is not being selfish; we just have to keep in mind that when loving oneself more it doesn’t make us hate others and indifferent to others existence…now, where was I? Ohh…I was in bus introducing myself with other Magar students. After introduction with others, Mahesh dai to whom I have known for about 2 years, who is a singer as well as a poet and song-writer came to sit next to me. He was also going as a journalist/photographer to Hetauda. We updated about ourselves and talked about everything. When we had started talking I had thought we would not be able to discuss lots of things and get chance to ask some of my important questions about the meeting. But, when I had finished my every queries I was surprised to find out after 2 hours of leaving Ratnapark we had not even passed the Thankot. While talking I had not even realized we were in traffic jam! I can't believe myself how I can want and believe to be a future good journalist when I forget to see what's happening around.
As it was also a Shivaratri we were stopped from place to place with rope on road by children and youth to ask for money; a kind of charity. As I recall it, we were at least stopped in 20 places by them which was the reason for us to reach Hetauda around 3 pm. As we were students we didn't give any money to any groups instead I noticed some guys teasing the girls who were stopping us for donation. In the bus I also happen to enjoy the live Dohori competition between girls and boys. They had good voice and their theme of the song was very funny for me as they were flirting with each other through song. It was lots of enjoyment. However, I didn't stay awake enough to enjoy it fully. When bus had started I had felt my stomach not in so jolly mood which of course effected my head and I felt sick as soon as bus started to move in full speed. So, to stop from the churning headache I closed my eyes and tried to sleep which I eventually did. It helped me from stopping to throw-up. When I woke up fully, I was in Hetauda, still feeling sleepy. This sleepiness and sickness habit of me made me miss beautiful sceneries on the way which is another habit I would love to kick out of me!
After everyone got out of bus we prepared for rally and within some time we were marching towards our destiny…the stage where our program was going on. When we entered the gate everyone turned their heads towards us and welcomed us with applause. I smiled and bowed my head before rushing to take pictures of speakers in the program. With other journalists and photographers; I was there standing infront of the people and trying to get the good picture of everyone and everything that I felt would give some news sense. I was clicking pictures when Mahesh dai came to me and said he had not had lunch that day which made me feel very hungry myself as I realized I also had had nothing. So, around 5 o’clock we went outside and had some shale-roti and tea. That was our breakfast, lunch and snacks of that day! When we returned to the program from tea-house it was already dark and program was coming to end. I clicked some pictures and we were led to OM CHALACHITRA GHAR by volunteers where continuation of program was to take place.
Around 7 o’clock, the entertainment program started. Magar dances were performed by the participants and organizers along with songs, jokes and music. It was very enjoyable! After we were fed by fun we were offered food which definitely tasted real good though rice was half-cooked, dal was too salty and curry was too little. After dinner at 12 o’clock our program “Banda-Shatra” started. Central Committee Members along with President Bhojbikram Budha Magar sat on the stage while representatives and participants sat in chair with eyes half closed and yawning at least two times in every five minutes. We; photographers and journalists stood between stage and audience-chair to click pictures of both side easily. There were specially four people to click pictures :- Mahesh dai, Chhabi dai, Padam dai and me. We made plans to check everyone in every corner to click pictures of those who slept most funnily. It was the game to keep ourselves awake. We would click pictures and show each-other and have a great laugh between ourselves. The plan worked well. Our President was in the center of the stage and after 5 minutes of the program had started I noticed something which made me smile. He was dozing and if nothing will be done by nobody I was sure he would find himself flat on floor with his face down. As I saw no one was ready to do anything I went for his rescue. I took my weapon with me: my camera and with sign language told to the person sitting next to him to push him a little so that I could take picture of him. The person understood and did as I had asked so when our President opened his eyes, right at that time my camera flashed…Click! Later when I saw the picture, our president was as confused as a newly baby is when it suddenly sees light for the first time. My group had good laugh and it helped us to stay awake for a minute longer.
The night was so cold, at first taking a nap in the chair was impossible for me. But, around 3:30 in morning when annual report from Central Committee was being presented my leg sent me a secret signal that it can stand no longer so I went to sit next to Mahesh dai who was taking rest for his eyes as well as his legs and camera. After 5 minutes of rest my eyes must have got jealous of my legs as they would not open when I tried to. It was impossible for me to read the report and next thing I realized was my ear also started to send me the sound as if it was from far-far away while the big volume-box was just in front of me. Everything felt useless at that moment so I gave myself to the Goddess of sleep with a big yawn. When I woke up I looked at my watch and found it was already quarter to 4. Stretching myself in chair I looked at the places where my friends were standing to click pictures before I took a nap. I didn’t see them so I turned my head here and there and gave a laugh when I saw them all asleep in chairs next to mine. They were sleeping in such a pathetic and laughable style that I was about to take their pictures but they awoke before I could succeed at my plan. Wide awake we got ready for our job again till the program ended at 7 am. I came out of the cinema hall to wash my face and brush my teeth. As I had no toothpaste I went to buy one and brushed in the water from tank along with some other participants. Still I did not feel fresh…I was drowsy, tired and about to collapse. At this time I understood the meaning of my teachers sentence “Journalist’s life is a life of a dog! 24 hours job and not a career for the house-dolls!” Well said! But hey, I don’t want to be a house-doll and I am not going to be the one!!
As we had finished our program earlier than expected we hit the road around 9 am for Kathmandu after we had our breakfast. Everyone slept in the bus as soon as they were in seat, of course excluding the driver, helper and ME! I really wanted to sleep but due to the girls problem (monthly periods) my stomach and back started paining so hard that I could not breath well. That made me stand mostly the half way home. It was painful and I felt nature has really done injustice to women. But what to do? It is a real problem but then life will lose its value if there is no struggle, no pain and no obstacles in the way. And we need to be prepared to face anything as my brothers tell me. From this time I am going to be ready, prepared for these things so that they won’t make me weak to go for my destiny, my dream and my aim.
So, this was my first visit to Hetauda and to that kind of program. It was one of the great experience of my life. When I came back from the Hetauda I felt I knew more about myself. I got lots of ideas about how my life will be in future. And most of all, I met many people from around the country, listened to their ideas, their opinion, their perspectives of looking at the things and shared mine too. What can I ask for more when I got something that is going to shape my future. These experiences and information have given me a treasure-box where I am going to add more of my coming days experiences to make it full so that I can be what I am planning to be in coming days by utilizing these treasures. I know I don’t have enough qualities of a good journalist right now but this kind of experiences are going to be my base, my root which will give me enough strength in the future to be what I have always dreamed of - a good journalist.
Thanks to those who are helping me to realize my dream, my destiny and are always by my side to support me in every step that I have been taking since I was born!!
Early morning, around 5:30 my brother Ajay dropped me at Ratnapark where a bus that would take me to Hetauda was waiting. As I was earlier than other participants I got chance to make myself comfortable in a nice seat. While I was sitting there I went through the program schedule of my visit. Program was to attend the Annual Meeting of Nepal Magar Students Association which was starting at 10 am of that day and was supposed to end next day afternoon so that we would be back to Kathmandu by Saturday night. I also had made my own plans about what I will be doing while I was attending the program. To carryout my plans I was fully prepared (really?); a camera to capture the event, a notebook and many pens and pencils to jot down about the program, quotations of speakers and decisions made by organizers; some papers and a book to read on the bus and finally my bag contained something which was not totally a journalistic equipments and that was my Magar dress! I smiled at my preparation and made my mind to make good use of everything that was in my bag.
When bus finally started moving around 7 o'clock I took a deep breath and wondered what experiences I will be gathering in Hetauda. They say journalists have a sense of knowing things before it really happens. Well, to tell you the truth, I couldn't think of anything, my head was totally blank. I had no idea what happens in the annual meetings of students as it was the first time I was participating in such programs. Moreover, it was my first visit to Hetauda which also worked as a banning agent to my assumptions and imaginations. So, what was happening next was a total mystery for me. This heightened the feeling of adventure in me and at the same time made me think if I have enough qualities to be a good journalist. You must be wondering why I am questioning myself on my chosen career. Don't worry, when you finish reading this article you will know why.
It was a big bus and was carrying more than 100 Magar students including me, of course! When I looked around in the seats of a bus I saw some familiar faces in the crowd of total strangers. There were also some girls who were as strangers to me as others were. Though they were total strangers I felt as if I knew them, as if they were close relatives. Here, I need to say one thing, I am not a racist and I can't know what other will think when I say I definitely feel comfortable to be around my community rather than in another community just the way I feel unthreatened when I am with my family from other people. I will never take loving my family more than my neighbor as being racist or indifferent to my neighbor. I take it as a human nature, to want to be in a place where you think you belong. I also take it as a kind of existential crisis. Everyone is in search of owns identity and it is easier to find that in the community which is familiar to you. Wanting to belong somewhere is a social nature of human. And it is undoubtedly easier for the person to have a feeling of belonging in the community which brought him/her up. So, not feeling them as strangers though I had never met them before was not me being racist instead it was a feeling of commonness as we share more or less similar kind of cultural values. So, I don't feel guilty about my feelings of belonging there. I have to respect myself to respect others. Same way, to respect the world I have to respect my country and to respect my country I have to respect my society and my community. If only I can love myself I will be able to love others. And I believe, loving oneself more is not being selfish; we just have to keep in mind that when loving oneself more it doesn’t make us hate others and indifferent to others existence…now, where was I? Ohh…I was in bus introducing myself with other Magar students. After introduction with others, Mahesh dai to whom I have known for about 2 years, who is a singer as well as a poet and song-writer came to sit next to me. He was also going as a journalist/photographer to Hetauda. We updated about ourselves and talked about everything. When we had started talking I had thought we would not be able to discuss lots of things and get chance to ask some of my important questions about the meeting. But, when I had finished my every queries I was surprised to find out after 2 hours of leaving Ratnapark we had not even passed the Thankot. While talking I had not even realized we were in traffic jam! I can't believe myself how I can want and believe to be a future good journalist when I forget to see what's happening around.
As it was also a Shivaratri we were stopped from place to place with rope on road by children and youth to ask for money; a kind of charity. As I recall it, we were at least stopped in 20 places by them which was the reason for us to reach Hetauda around 3 pm. As we were students we didn't give any money to any groups instead I noticed some guys teasing the girls who were stopping us for donation. In the bus I also happen to enjoy the live Dohori competition between girls and boys. They had good voice and their theme of the song was very funny for me as they were flirting with each other through song. It was lots of enjoyment. However, I didn't stay awake enough to enjoy it fully. When bus had started I had felt my stomach not in so jolly mood which of course effected my head and I felt sick as soon as bus started to move in full speed. So, to stop from the churning headache I closed my eyes and tried to sleep which I eventually did. It helped me from stopping to throw-up. When I woke up fully, I was in Hetauda, still feeling sleepy. This sleepiness and sickness habit of me made me miss beautiful sceneries on the way which is another habit I would love to kick out of me!
After everyone got out of bus we prepared for rally and within some time we were marching towards our destiny…the stage where our program was going on. When we entered the gate everyone turned their heads towards us and welcomed us with applause. I smiled and bowed my head before rushing to take pictures of speakers in the program. With other journalists and photographers; I was there standing infront of the people and trying to get the good picture of everyone and everything that I felt would give some news sense. I was clicking pictures when Mahesh dai came to me and said he had not had lunch that day which made me feel very hungry myself as I realized I also had had nothing. So, around 5 o’clock we went outside and had some shale-roti and tea. That was our breakfast, lunch and snacks of that day! When we returned to the program from tea-house it was already dark and program was coming to end. I clicked some pictures and we were led to OM CHALACHITRA GHAR by volunteers where continuation of program was to take place.
Around 7 o’clock, the entertainment program started. Magar dances were performed by the participants and organizers along with songs, jokes and music. It was very enjoyable! After we were fed by fun we were offered food which definitely tasted real good though rice was half-cooked, dal was too salty and curry was too little. After dinner at 12 o’clock our program “Banda-Shatra” started. Central Committee Members along with President Bhojbikram Budha Magar sat on the stage while representatives and participants sat in chair with eyes half closed and yawning at least two times in every five minutes. We; photographers and journalists stood between stage and audience-chair to click pictures of both side easily. There were specially four people to click pictures :- Mahesh dai, Chhabi dai, Padam dai and me. We made plans to check everyone in every corner to click pictures of those who slept most funnily. It was the game to keep ourselves awake. We would click pictures and show each-other and have a great laugh between ourselves. The plan worked well. Our President was in the center of the stage and after 5 minutes of the program had started I noticed something which made me smile. He was dozing and if nothing will be done by nobody I was sure he would find himself flat on floor with his face down. As I saw no one was ready to do anything I went for his rescue. I took my weapon with me: my camera and with sign language told to the person sitting next to him to push him a little so that I could take picture of him. The person understood and did as I had asked so when our President opened his eyes, right at that time my camera flashed…Click! Later when I saw the picture, our president was as confused as a newly baby is when it suddenly sees light for the first time. My group had good laugh and it helped us to stay awake for a minute longer.
The night was so cold, at first taking a nap in the chair was impossible for me. But, around 3:30 in morning when annual report from Central Committee was being presented my leg sent me a secret signal that it can stand no longer so I went to sit next to Mahesh dai who was taking rest for his eyes as well as his legs and camera. After 5 minutes of rest my eyes must have got jealous of my legs as they would not open when I tried to. It was impossible for me to read the report and next thing I realized was my ear also started to send me the sound as if it was from far-far away while the big volume-box was just in front of me. Everything felt useless at that moment so I gave myself to the Goddess of sleep with a big yawn. When I woke up I looked at my watch and found it was already quarter to 4. Stretching myself in chair I looked at the places where my friends were standing to click pictures before I took a nap. I didn’t see them so I turned my head here and there and gave a laugh when I saw them all asleep in chairs next to mine. They were sleeping in such a pathetic and laughable style that I was about to take their pictures but they awoke before I could succeed at my plan. Wide awake we got ready for our job again till the program ended at 7 am. I came out of the cinema hall to wash my face and brush my teeth. As I had no toothpaste I went to buy one and brushed in the water from tank along with some other participants. Still I did not feel fresh…I was drowsy, tired and about to collapse. At this time I understood the meaning of my teachers sentence “Journalist’s life is a life of a dog! 24 hours job and not a career for the house-dolls!” Well said! But hey, I don’t want to be a house-doll and I am not going to be the one!!
As we had finished our program earlier than expected we hit the road around 9 am for Kathmandu after we had our breakfast. Everyone slept in the bus as soon as they were in seat, of course excluding the driver, helper and ME! I really wanted to sleep but due to the girls problem (monthly periods) my stomach and back started paining so hard that I could not breath well. That made me stand mostly the half way home. It was painful and I felt nature has really done injustice to women. But what to do? It is a real problem but then life will lose its value if there is no struggle, no pain and no obstacles in the way. And we need to be prepared to face anything as my brothers tell me. From this time I am going to be ready, prepared for these things so that they won’t make me weak to go for my destiny, my dream and my aim.
So, this was my first visit to Hetauda and to that kind of program. It was one of the great experience of my life. When I came back from the Hetauda I felt I knew more about myself. I got lots of ideas about how my life will be in future. And most of all, I met many people from around the country, listened to their ideas, their opinion, their perspectives of looking at the things and shared mine too. What can I ask for more when I got something that is going to shape my future. These experiences and information have given me a treasure-box where I am going to add more of my coming days experiences to make it full so that I can be what I am planning to be in coming days by utilizing these treasures. I know I don’t have enough qualities of a good journalist right now but this kind of experiences are going to be my base, my root which will give me enough strength in the future to be what I have always dreamed of - a good journalist.
Thanks to those who are helping me to realize my dream, my destiny and are always by my side to support me in every step that I have been taking since I was born!!
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