Thursday, August 14, 2014

Where I belong?

One fine afternoon, over the tea sips, my friend Sunib declared us as a 'victimized generation'. "We fit nowhere," he sighed. I couldn't have agreed more.

Born in an isolated village called Rukum, brought up in Kathmandu - the capital city of Nepal; If not me who could have understood the feelings of 'not belonging'?

In my village, I was the first girl to go to school. When Maoist Revolution began I also became the first one to head for Kathmandu to continue my education. However, in Kathmandu, I became as helpless as a lost puppy. I couldn't understand the language, culture nor city life. No matter how much I tried to adjust, it just didn't feel like 'home'. They also saw the differences. I always became the 'village girl' – an outsider.

But, after a decade when I was finally able to visit my birthplace, I was treated more like a guest. I had forgotten most of my ethnic language, had no idea about the different beliefs and rituals. I felt like an outsider there as well.

I feel like I am standing on a junction: there is a nostalgic road to Rukum, comfort zone in Kathmandu and the road to Western World. I get scared and confused. But, granny's distant voice calls, 'I am saving your roots. Come back when you have explored the world to your heart's content.'  I embrace her voice.

[NOTE: it was written for a class assignment during my journalism Diploma in ACJ, Chennai in 2011]