Monday, January 3, 2011

CRAZY!!!


Part – 3

Don't be so cruel!
Have some mercy and just leave. Let me lick my wounds and heal it myself.
Leave!
Go as far as you can. Be healthy, be happy. Live a long and meaningful life. Let me think you are living happily somewhere; wherever you are.
Let me be!
Don't ever come back. Even when I am crumpled on the ground, don't you be there to offer the hand. Even when I am wailing like a crazy person, don't try to wipe my tears. Don't hold me, when I am falling.
Don't you cry for me.
Don't you give me hopes. Because, these hopes you give make me bleed. Each time, as I bleed for you, the wounds get bigger and deeper.
Just leave!
I want to heal. I want to see the colours again. This time, my own colours!
So, don't you show yourself again. If you do, I will lose my sanity. I will come running to you like before. I don't want that. I don't want to plead. I don't want to be so weak, so vulnerable and so pathetic!
Therefore, don't apologize. Just leave!
Let me have the dignity that is left in me. If you leave now, there won't be any reasons for me to wait for you. There won't be any reasons for me to hope for your return.
Don't be sorry! Just leave!
I want to heal. I just want to start healing before I collapse again!!!

CRAZY!!



Part – 2
You apologized!
I didn't understand. "Why?" I asked. You just kept apologizing, 'for everything.'
Confused, I added some more sugar in my coffee. Stirred for a while and took a sip. Tasteless!
I raised my head, looked at you sitting uneasily opposite the table. I gave you a confused smile. You looked away. I sighed, clueless!
But, deep down, somewhere, something felt empty. I was sad, very sad. All of a sudden, I felt lonely.
I wrecked my head, searched into the memories. Yet, I could find nothing. Nothing for you to be sorry for, nothing for me to be sad and lonely for.
I got more confused. The question kept repeating on my head, "Why sorry?" "Why?"…
I looked at you again. Without meeting my gaze you gave a shaky smile. Then you lowered your head, again. You closed your eyes and I heard another softly spoken, "Forgive me!"
You looked so sad and so sorry! It almost felt like you were hurting as much as I was.
That hit me!
A short gasp escaped from my mouth. You looked more apologetic. I was too naïve, too ignorant.
I realized.
I heard my heart break. The sound was piercing, cold and painful. I couldn't breath!